Friday, February 3, 2012

Old School aka Never Change

You know, I kind of thought that I'd be posting a lot more since posting here seems to take a load off (ha, load off) but I haven't posted in months. I struggled again for the last couple of months wondering if I really had anything relevant to say, and had to keep reminding myself that this is my blog and I can say whatever the fuck I want, amirite? Still though...I think we all wonder what people really think of us, and worry about it, no matter how much we might think we don't.

Anyway, onward! To the reason I'm writing this post. I've had a lot of time on my hands lately for a variety of reasons, and I've been going through my music collection. In regards to hip hop, I haven't listened to anything new really in ages, and if I have heard something new it's usually because it's a Karmin cover that I really like. Outside of that, I don't care to listen to the radio, and I feel like I'm getting too old to be scouring the internets for that new underground shit.

But for hip hop music, I've always kind of run the gamut of the genre in terms of what I like. I've liked what non hip hop fans (read: old conservative people) call "gangsta rap", I've liked the club music (well, I am still a girl that likes to dance, I can't help it) and I've liked the really good shit, the kind of hip hop that is classic and always good no matter when you listen to it. I think anyone who reads this blog knows that I love me some gratuitous violence and bloodshed, and so the "gangsta rap" or anything else really violent or disturbing in any way has never bothered me.

At least not until now. It's's been a long time coming because I've been in denial for ages about it. But you know, a lot of that shit doesn't really appeal to me anymore. I mean, I was listening to Em's "My Fault" the other day, and I really cringed when I heard the lines:

Susan, stop crying, I don't hate ya,
The world's not against you,
I'm sorry your father raped ya,
So what you had your little coochie in your dad's mouth,
That ain't no reason to start wigging and spaz out

I was really surprised the line upset me at all because it never really used to. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I ever thought incest and rape was okay, it's fucked up no matter how you look at it. I guess it just really bothered me at how casual it was in that song.

Then last night, I was listening to Geto Boyz's "Mind of a Lunatic" and I just kind of sighed and stopped it halfway through the song. I was going in alphabetic order, so I skipped ahead to J5's "Monkey Bars". A few songs later I realized I was listening to J5, Freestyle Fellowship, Handsome Boy modeling School, k-os, Living Legends, etc, etc. You get the picture. I was skipping over anything that had DJ Khaled, most of Fabolous' songs, Mike Jones/Paul Wall, sadly some NWA & Geto Boyz & Pac.

I stood there and wondered, "How did I ever listen to this shit? What was wrong with me?" Then I realized, there wasn't anything wrong with me then. It's just that all those times I thought, "I'll never change, I'll always be true and real no matter what!" I realized I was wrong. All those people I laughed at who seemed to feel sorry for me and my taste in music and told me I'd grow up some day? I guess they were right. After all that I realized something.

Fuck, I'm old.


  1. Hey it's Marcus.....Long time right! Just shoutin ya out...Peep the new site

    Still on twitter under marQspekt

    hope all is well!

  2. The site looks good, man. It HAS been a long time! What you been up to?

  3. I been good man, just trying to really progress. I got a couple shows in LA coming up in April and May. I'm goin to Colorado next week. I've been moving. Shit is hard because people don't want to let u in the door, then they start dickriding as soon as you get in there and sit on the couch. Lotta fake shit, but I'm trying to bare it. How u been?


  4. Well, sounds like you just been dealing with the same shit you've always been dealing with, right? Still, just 'cause you're familiar with something doesn't mean it's okay.

    I've been kinda crazy...but what else is new. Up and down, more down lately, trying to find a new job. Some health problems...but I gotta keep on keepin' on, I guess.

  5. I get what you're saying. I kinda stumbled across "Mind of a Lunatic" the other day and it just didn't hold the same entertainment value that it used to, and I think that's true of a lot of so-called gangsta rap. It eventually loses its shock value. But that never really was the biggest part of my listening habits anyway. And I'm pretty slow to pick up on new artists, too. I've come across a few, but it's like it gets harder every year. Do you know about Blame One? He's from San Diego, so show your hometown artist some love!

  6. I'll check out Blame One. I'm so weird about my musical tastes sometimes. I know it's kind of a give that people change and grow and so do their tastes...but I guess I just felt like I wouldn't. Maybe 'cause I still feel the same age on the inside as I was when I was listening to all that.