Friday, May 18, 2012

Uncle Drew


These youngbloods, man. They don't know.

That shit was AWESOME. And guess who put me up on this video?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

O rly, Obama?

Avengers spoiler alert!


FUCKING AWESOME.

Manz and I saw Avengers 3D last weekend. I've been too slammed with work to write about it, but I will soon. Just thought I'd bring ya'll this tidbit in the meantime.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Conversations With...

Manz.

Seems like I don't have entertaining conversations with anyone else these days. Which is odd 'cause work is crazy and I don't get to spend much time with him these days.

Anyway. I had two separate conversations with him and one was funny, but I'm still scratching my head over the other one. The funny one:

We were in the car and Throw Some D's (the remix) started playing. Well, manz is quiet for a bit, and then:

Manz: "Oh, is that Andre 3000?"
Me: "Yes."
Manz: "Um...are they saying: throw some cheese on them grits?"
Me: "..."
Manz: "Do you like how I figured what they're probably saying 'cause I know Andre 3000 is from the South?"
Me: "I think they're talking about RIMS."
Manz: "Oh."

I had to laugh at that.

So we got our sound system FINALLY and our home theater is almost complete. When manz was unpacking the box, he says:

Manz: "Wow, Sony. They even included batteries for the remote, that's cool."
Me: "Yeah, that Sony. They really know how to treat a lady."
Manz: *stares at me* "You are CRAZY."
Me: "What? Why?"
Manz: "You just are."

I don't get it. Admittedly I was really tired, but I still don't get it.

Friday, April 27, 2012

My Feelings on Football Christmas

...

Yeah, that's them.

Here's the thing. Last year, football season was TOTALLY RUINED for me for a couple of reasons. The first is thanks to our Fantasy Football Team. See, the year before, a few of them who shall go unnamed, pulled some real bitch moves that manz and I thought were super shady. Well, last year we didn't really want to participate, but no, we were promised that the shenanigans would not continue. Yeah. You guessed it, they did. Needless to say, I was pissed and wanted to cut a bitch. Instead, I stopped caring about fantasy completely and said fuck it.

Secondly, I got all excited when there were heavy rumors about AJ and Norv getting the boot. I thought, finally, the Chargers can get out from under the reign of AJ and maybe hire a new coach, maybe take Norv back down to Offensive Coordinator or something. But no, that didn't happen either. Then I was really mad. I said, GTFOHWTBS, and stopped caring about football, and even for a short time boycotted playing Madden too because I was so heated about football in general.

But now, I live in Fresno, and most people here due to proximity are either Raiders or 49ers fans, so now I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I'm not amused with the Chargers, but I just CANNOT bring myself to be a Raiders fan even though Al kicked the bucket finally. And, I do like Patrick Willis, but is that enough to make me a fan of the Niners? I don't know.

So I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I don't know any football fans out here, so it's not like I have anyone to BS with about football either.

I will say that Trent Richardson (who was drafted by the Browns, so of course I know that) looks like the hipster love child of Busta Rhymes and Stevie Wonder, though.

Trent Richardson

Amirite?

This picture prompted a conversation with manz about how players who have bad vision handle things - I guess they all wear contacts or get Lasik? Manz said most of them wear contacts. Then he said:

"Well, EXCEPT ERIC DICKERSON!"

I felt like I knew that name, and then he shows me the following pictures:

Holy raging Jheri Curl, batman! That hair is SRS BIZNES. Somebody invested in some Soul Glo.


I fucking LOVE that for this photo he kept his glasses on. That's real commitment to your glasses, man. REAL commitment. He must have been like me. When people try to tell me nicely that hey, you know, there's such a thing as contacts? I get so fucking mad. Like I don't know that? And what are you saying about my taste in glasses, you asshole? I usually just say some shit like, "Oh, I don't know, I think my glasses give me CHARACTER." and give them the onceover. You go, Eric Dickerson. Keep doing the damn thing.


Monday, April 23, 2012

Big Ol' Butt

It's been a while since I've done one of these, and I feel I must because I've got SO MANY pictures I've saved and been like, "I should post these!" Somehow I feel like the rest of you must not go on the interwebs, and like I have to share these with you 'cause you'll never see them otherwise. As if, right?

I think the last one I did of these was of breasts, so I figure I ought to give some homage to the booty. I should also say that I am now actively trying NOT to post obvious pictures of porn stars or anything...after so many years in/around porn, I prefer to consider the very attractive ladies I'll be posting pictures of as being sexy amateurs. (Shh, don't ruin it for me.)

DUDE. Where the hell do chicks like this go running at? Okay, so it's probably posed, but seriously? As much as I hate running I swear I'd run behind this girl. Slowly, though. Not too fast...I wouldn't want to pass her or anything.

She looks like she's having a good time. And the picture looks natural, like you just so happened to catch her walking in at just the right moment. I wonder if she can hold pencils in the under cheek area, though.

Am I turning into a dirty old man? 'Cause lately these gym sock type pictures have really been doing it for me. This girl can do my laundry ANY day. Or she could pretend to do my laundry, I don't care.

Another gym sock photo. I think she's wearing a leotard or something, but I really don't give a shit, 'cause I'm interested in her bottom half. The thigh high type socks are the best 'cause they end RIGHT under where the ass cheek ends. Homina.

PHAWG. Seriously, how come delivery girls never look like this? There needs to be some equal opportunity hiring over at UPS though, for real. Stop hiring dudes, UPS, hot chicks can deliver envelopes, too, you know?

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Fuck Yo' Yelp

Now, I promised manz that I wouldn't be a stuck up citified biatch in Fresno, but there are a couple of things that have irritated me about the city, or the residents, or maybe both.

First of all, I had a fashion emergency here because I threw out most of my shit before we moved up. Now, I had a couple pairs of boots that were decent in terms quality and looks and I had bought them online for cheap. But I figured, hell, Fresno is hot and dry, so am I gonna need boots? Nah. So what happens the first week we're here? It rains. A LOT. So I rush out to try and get some decent boots. I go to Macy's and there's nothing. Then I check online to see where their nearest decent shoe store is, like maybe a Walking Company or something like that, since I usually wear the cute comfort shoe brands 'cause I'm a field rep and walk a lot for work. Well, there aren't any Walking Company stores here, closest ones are in the Bay. Okay, no problem. How about a Nordstrom?

There is NO FUCKING NORDSTROM IN FRESNO COUNTY.

When I bitched to manz about this he was like, "Now, now, remember what you said..." Sigh. I won't be a snob, but STILL. Where am I supposed to go when I have a show fashion emergency?? It's not Fresno's fault, it's just I guess retailers go where they know they'll make money. And I sense not many folks in Fresno can afford to shop at Nordstrom which isn't their fault either, but still. I can still be mad about that, can't I?

Now, onto the real reason for this post. Seriously, Fresno Yelpers? You guys are full of shit, and I pretty much hate most of you. There aren't many Yelpers out there, and there are a few cool ones as far as I've seen, but man...the rest of you need to GTFOHWTBS.

Perfect example. The highest rated Japanese restaurant in all of Fresno is called Pete's Teriyaki. I went there expecting some awesome shit. What I got though, was a low budget L & L. For real? The "famous" spicy chicken I read about thats "to die for"? That shit was a fried chicken breast they bought at Costco, cut it up, then they poured Costco teriyaki sauce mixed with Sriracha all over it.

However, down the street from me there's a real Japanese market with seafood called "Central Fish Company" and it got terrible reviews because...

...it smells like fish in there.

What. The. Fuck.

Yes, it did, but Jesus H. Christ...it's a fucking fish market...it's in the name, people!

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Daskdjncksdcuihuenrhdbsu!,,,!,,! *flails angrily*

Okay, I feel better now.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

WTFunk

So. It's been a MONTH after I said I would start posting again, and I haven't. But! This time, I can honestly say it wasn't due to being worried if my posts were worthy. This time...it was about shit being crazy in me and manz' life.

Well, so let me break down for you the last couple months. I was on medical leave for a while, since about December. I don't remember if I ever talked about it here, and I'm too lazy/tired to go back and look. My fibromyalgia was getting bad, and then I found out I had a cyst. Well, of course I was freaked the fuck out because my mom had breast cancer. Long story short, they told me it was stress related and to take some time off of work. So I took about 3 months off, not all of it voluntary or intentional.

For a long time I wondered if I wanted to continue doing union work or not. I won't lie, the shit was brutal. But then, I had heard that my office in particular was really fucked up, and I still wanted negotiations experience. So I thought and thought about what to do. Well, then I found out I FINALLY am getting my diploma, so then I really, really wanted more negotiations experience, 'cause I didn't get 30k into debt for nothing, right?

Well, in a nutshell, what I wanted wasn't exactly compatible to what my boss wanted, so, I finally decided to say deuces and throw up the peace sign. Unfortunately, this happened right when manz got laid off. I was desperately applying at negotiations jobs all over the West Coast, 'cause our lease was up, and with no kids, and no mortgage, there was nothing tying us to SD. I finally got a call and went in for some interviews at another regional office of the same union I worked for, and they made me an offer. A huge raise to go work in Fresno (with a much lower cost of living) and I'd be able to be in on negotiations with Fresno County? I'm fucking IN THERE LIKE SWIM WEAR.

Fortune cookies
Just so you know, after the first interview, we went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, and this is what manz and I got. That shit was crazy. It reminded me of that one Twilight Zone episode.

After that we packed up all the shit we could into our two cars and manz and I drove up to Fresno and did the damn thing. We found an awesome place, and although we heard it was really hard to find a job in Fresno, manz got a call the same week we moved up, and got hired.

Shit is crazy, right? When things happen for manz and I, they always happen all at once. Which is awesome, and things really just keep looking up, which is also awesome. Fresno so far has been mad cool and the people and our jobs (and surprisingly, the food) has been good, so we're happy so far.

Korean ads
Speaking of food, while we were still up in Fresno during the interview process, we found a really good Korean restaurant. This poster cracked me up, because the dude might as well be a meme. "Hey girl..." That one was behind me.

This was right above manz' head:
Korean ads 2
He is WAY TOO HAPPY about his beer. For real.

While we're happy now, I don't think we'll be happy when the summertime comes 'cause it's hotter than hell out here, but hey, maybe it'll help us lose more weight.

tl;dr: Manz and I moved to Fresno and got new jobs and we're happy so far.

Anyway, so I've had all this shit I've seen in the last month or so that I wanted to share.

Murder Club
We were in Fry's, getting some tech shit for the new place, and manz nudges me and says, "Check this out, you must be the founding member!"

Ikea
Yes, JDL, we did pose them this way, and we laughed our asses off in the middle of Ikea. "Ha ha, a ball kick!" Yes, we are retarded.

Table legs that see the future.
Driving back from Ikea, we saw this truck with that table in the back, and I was like, "Why the hell would you want to have crystal balls on your table legs??" Manz just says, with a straight face, "Well, sometimes the carpet wants to see the future too, you know."

Sweet bottom
Maybe I was tired, but it amused me that the back of the truck said it was a "Sweet Bottom". Don't ask.

Bacon salad
This is a picture of the best fucking salad OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME! The cafe right outside of our new place serves BACON SALAD WITH BACON DRESSING. It's fucking delightful.

Also, a couple of pictures of my new place that I think most readers of this blog will appreciate:

rug
This is in our living room area. Most awesome rug ever seen, EVER. Amirite?

ofc_hall
These have been relocated to be right outside our office.

sitting area
I'm pretty proud of this area. I think it says, "Hi, we're super hardcore nerdy artfags." We still haven't finished unpacking the rest our comics.

br_hall
I'm also very proud of this piece of art. One of our good friends bought it for me on my last berfday and I finally had the chance to have it framed. It's by one of my favorite comic artists, J. Scott Campbell. I hope to add a couple more to this wall.

lv_rm
This room hasn't quite come together 100% yet, but it's almost there. See, instead of getting a new TV, manz got a projector, and a 100" screen. We plan on mounting the projector on the wall on the left and mounting the screen on the wall on the right, but we're not sure yet how all the wiring will work out. Also, I think this room says, "Hi, we're liberal nerds because we love Stewart and Colbert and BSG."

Well! That's all for now folks...jumping into work like I have has been a little insane, but I did get that Logitech keyboard for my iPad finally, so I'm hoping to be able to post more often. Not having a commute and being much more stress free does seem to get my desire to write more going. Funny how that works.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Captain Professor

As must be obvious, I have a great love for this man. He was my favorite Star Trek captain, and made a damnned fine Professor X. He's got a great sense of humor, he thinks one of the best things he's ever done was his appearance on Extras...well, the list goes on. I mean, if I HAD to get with an older dude, Patrick Stewart would be at the top of the list.



So a couple weeks ago, I saw this picture on Reddit:


It was at that time that I found out that he wore this shirt in honor of his mother, who worked her ass off to support him and was beaten on a daily basis by his father. Now, I don't truck with "feminists" mostly, because the term femi-nazi came about for a reason, and because, well, I've never gotten along well with women that call themselves feminists. But the sight of this man wearing this shirt in honor of his mother,no less, well, I was...I don't know. Pleasantly stunned? He talks openly about the fact that he lived in a very abusive household, and he's quoted as saying: "I was brought up in a very poor and very violent household. I spent much of my childhood being afraid."  I guess that's something I have in common with him - I spent much of my childhood being afraid, too.


Now that I think about it, it was that very fear that led me to all things sci fi and fantasy to begin with. I watched Star Trek because I hoped one day I might be able to leave the galaxy and get away from my family. I read comic books because I wished with every fiber of my being that one day I might be able to become a super heroine. I still wish that, as sad as that might sound. I should know better, though...most of the superheroes and heroines had a rough go of it, now that I think about it. Not one of them had a great life where everything was awesome all the time. Still, no matter how shitty things get, at the end of the day you're still a HERO. You know?







Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Le sigh.

You know what makes me sad? Batman is my favorite comic book character OF ALL TIME (no Kanye) and I love Christopher Nolan, and I love the Knightfall story arc...and yet the latest trailer is just so MEH. I saw it a few weeks ago and I was really disappointed.

However, this makes me feel SO much better. (Is that possibly because my latest movie boyfriend is in it? Hmm. Could be. Is it also because Scarlett Johannsen looks so good I just want to bite her? Probably. Did I emit a little girly scream during this trailer? Yes.)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Continuing Adventures of Dioracat

Whenever I'm out and about, I often see shit that I take pictures of, intending to post them here. It's usually shit that makes me laugh, or, like one case here, that makes me facepalm.

Oh yeah, Cock and Bull ginger beer. It could only be better if it were called Cock and Balls, but I suppose they didn't call it that for a reason. 

So, I actually saw this happen. This is really a true story. I was at the welfare office for a meeting with my members. (My members being the people that work there.) I saw a girl speed down the street, pull into the parking spot like this, park, get out, look at the curb, shrug, and go into the office. I just stood there with my mouth open in disbelief. There were so many stereotypes happening at once I didn't even know what to do.

I wonder if his friends call him Jimmy.


Yes, yes, I do so love a dick joke. I can't believe they actually MAKE this still. What recipe calls for spotted dick? Seriously.

Another reason I love the gays - you would never see shit like this on a marquee for a strip club with women  dancers. Yes, I know why that is, but I'm really trying not to think about the reasons why and just enjoy the humor, okay?

Tell me this is not the most amazing shit you've ever seen. I thought I heard a choir singing and angels flying out of it when I opened it. And of course, this box is empty.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

FUCK YO' VALENTINE'S DAY!

...No, I'm not bitter 'cause manz didn't buy me anything. Let me explain.



People generally call today V Day. You know why? V stands for vagina. Both for what controls this day, and what most men and lesbians hope to get at the end of the day. (And if you're really lucky, as in you spent a lot of money at Tiffany's, other shit too.)

Here's what I've come to realize about Valentine's Day. That shit is LAME. It's a made up holiday that's all about pressure, and mostly on men. This is a day where women usually are the ones that come out ahead, and men are the ones that usually get screwed, and usually not in a way you'd like. Why do you have to save up money right after Christmas so 6 weeks later you can buy her another gift? And why does it have to be better than the last one?

Sure, at first, manz bought me shit on Valentine's Day, and I also got him presents. He likes buying me shit and he does whenever he gets the chance. That's the kind of nice thing about it. He'll buy me a little something here and there, and I do the same for him. They're little nice surprises. But we don't set aside a day like today where we have to do some extravagant shit, go out to a restaurant we'd normally like but that today has a shitty fixed menu, only to have the pressure of having to be ROMANTIC (gag) when we get home. Don't get me wrong. You guys know I'm a control freak so I'm all about planning. But showing you love someone? That shit needs to be spontaneous, and should be more than just buying jewelry that comes in a blue box.

Manz and I decided maybe after our first year that we'd pretty much only celebrate our birthdays, our anniversary, and Christmas. That's it. Maybe a year later we decided that we'd rather pool our money that we were gonna spend on presents, and go somewhere. Happy memories > most presents.

This post isn't to talk about how awesome manz and I are, it's really not. I guess I'm just hoping that women will stop expecting men to just buy shit for them (I mean, if you want Tiffany's, go buy it yourself, sheeit) and men need to realize that when you have to cater to a woman like that, it gets you nowhere fast, or at least nowhere lasting. We need to break ourselves out of the idea that your feelings are measurable by how much money you spend on someone.

But I guess I'm kinda bad that way. I'm not good with feelings or talking about them. I think you guys know the story about me being kind of an asshole to manz about feelings right? If not - one day he was being kind of romantic and telling me he loved me and all that. I felt weird and awkward like I do whenever people talk about feelings, and even though I love him more than anything, I didn't know what to say back. So I took a deep breath and said:

"Same to you, buddy."

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Karmin + SNL



So I just heard that Karmin was on SNL last night and was really excited and happy for them. I've been a big fan of theirs since just after they first covered "Look at Me Now". I went to go check for video of their performances, and found the videos on a hip hop website that will not be named.

I just have to say that I don't know why I ever read comments anymore except for on Reddit. However, I did read the comments that were posted after these videos, and most of the commenters agreed on two things. One, that Amy from Karmin swagger jacked Nicki Minaj big time. I guess I could maybe kind of see that from the videos, if you're really looking hard enough, or else if you're not the kind of person to form your own opinions and just want to nod your head when other people have opinions. The second thing they seemed to agree on was the general message of: "Hey fuck this white bitch, who the fuck does she think she is with her old school white girl style thinking she can rap?"  Those that liked her graced her with such backhanded compliments as, "She can sing, but I bet the guy writes all her shit." Wow.

Okay, look. I KNOW that there are ignint people out there no matter where you go or what you do. I personally thought it was cool that a white girl with some 40s throwback style could really sing and rap. But I guess that's not everyone's cup of tea. What I don't understand is why it is that even fans of the music industry prefer segregation. So, unless a white girl has more "hip hop style", then she's not accepted as a singer and hip hop artist in the hip hop community? Really? To me it looks like she's trying to break paradigms. She has her own look and unique style, but she has varied interests musically and expresses herself as such. She doesn't change her image to fit in with what she's SUPPOSED to look like. Karmin might be known for their hip hop and R & B covers, but based on their website and all of their cover songs and original music, they do seem to appreciate and perform other kinds of music, too.

I guess I'm just mad that people really want to act so ignorant. Maybe it was too much for me to hope that my fellow minorities wouldn't judge people like that when we're so often judged on a daily basis ourselves. Maybe they resent (like many people did in the beginning with Eminem) white people being able or willing to perform "our music".

Or maybe I'm a little mad myself, because I kind of know how it feels. Let me tell you guys a quick story. I like to sing, and of course deep down in my heart would love to make music for a living. However, because of the range of music I like to sing, whenever I sing in public, I've performed some Pat Benatar, old Mariah Carey, Beyonce, No Doubt, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and most recently Adele. When someone a few years back said, "Hey, you're really good. You should maybe be on American Idol and make music for a living. What kind of music do you think you'd do?" I said, "Probably hip hop or R & B. Those are my first loves." The person looked at me sort of blankly before replying, "But...you're Asian."

Sigh. What the fuck does that even mean?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

NO H8



Huzzah. I don't feel so bad about being a Californian after all. 

Don't get me wrong, I still feel bad about it, but just not AS bad.

OK GO!

Those of you who spend much time on the internets probably must have seen this already, but ifnot:



That shit is fucking awesome. They always have the best videos. Very painstaking and they obviously enjoy what they're doing, which makes it even better.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

To JDL (And other Giants fans)

Manz and I decided not to watch the Super Bowl at all this year for a variety of reasons. However, on this day, let me just say grats on your Super Bowl win.I'm not one to shit on people's parades so...I'll reserve any commentary for a later date.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Old School aka Never Change

You know, I kind of thought that I'd be posting a lot more since posting here seems to take a load off (ha, load off) but I haven't posted in months. I struggled again for the last couple of months wondering if I really had anything relevant to say, and had to keep reminding myself that this is my blog and I can say whatever the fuck I want, amirite? Still though...I think we all wonder what people really think of us, and worry about it, no matter how much we might think we don't.

Anyway, onward! To the reason I'm writing this post. I've had a lot of time on my hands lately for a variety of reasons, and I've been going through my music collection. In regards to hip hop, I haven't listened to anything new really in ages, and if I have heard something new it's usually because it's a Karmin cover that I really like. Outside of that, I don't care to listen to the radio, and I feel like I'm getting too old to be scouring the internets for that new underground shit.


But for hip hop music, I've always kind of run the gamut of the genre in terms of what I like. I've liked what non hip hop fans (read: old conservative people) call "gangsta rap", I've liked the club music (well, I am still a girl that likes to dance, I can't help it) and I've liked the really good shit, the kind of hip hop that is classic and always good no matter when you listen to it. I think anyone who reads this blog knows that I love me some gratuitous violence and bloodshed, and so the "gangsta rap" or anything else really violent or disturbing in any way has never bothered me.



At least not until now. It's weird...it's been a long time coming because I've been in denial for ages about it. But you know, a lot of that shit doesn't really appeal to me anymore. I mean, I was listening to Em's "My Fault" the other day, and I really cringed when I heard the lines:

Susan, stop crying, I don't hate ya,
The world's not against you,
I'm sorry your father raped ya,
So what you had your little coochie in your dad's mouth,
That ain't no reason to start wigging and spaz out



I was really surprised the line upset me at all because it never really used to. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I ever thought incest and rape was okay, it's fucked up no matter how you look at it. I guess it just really bothered me at how casual it was in that song.

Then last night, I was listening to Geto Boyz's "Mind of a Lunatic" and I just kind of sighed and stopped it halfway through the song. I was going in alphabetic order, so I skipped ahead to J5's "Monkey Bars". A few songs later I realized I was listening to J5, Freestyle Fellowship, Handsome Boy modeling School, k-os, Living Legends, etc, etc. You get the picture. I was skipping over anything that had DJ Khaled, most of Fabolous' songs, Mike Jones/Paul Wall, sadly some NWA & Geto Boyz & Pac.

I stood there and wondered, "How did I ever listen to this shit? What was wrong with me?" Then I realized, there wasn't anything wrong with me then. It's just that all those times I thought, "I'll never change, I'll always be true and real no matter what!" I realized I was wrong. All those people I laughed at who seemed to feel sorry for me and my taste in music and told me I'd grow up some day? I guess they were right. After all that I realized something.

Fuck, I'm old.