Sunday, September 19, 2010

^5s: TV Theme Songs

When I was listening to the radio the other morning they were talking about the best TV show theme songs of all time, and while I agreed with a lot of them, I also thought that perhaps because I haven't really watched TV actively for a while that anything I'd pick would be old school from when I was little. So I thought about it for a while and came up with a list.

The A-Team
I'm not just saying this because of the movie (although I did like the movie a lot) but because I really did fucking love that show back in the day. It was awesome and my favorite character was BA Baracus hands down. When I got to meet Mr. T when I was a kid I thought it was really the greatest thing ever. I used to have a picture I took with him but I think its lost somewhere in the black cold abyss known as my mom's house. But seriously, why wouldn't you LOVE this theme song? I mean shit gets you pumped up!

Fresh Prince
I swear this show was about no color lines because as we know, manz is super white and watched this shit back in the day. He even knows all the lyrics to the intro song. But pretty much everyone I knew watched this show and when I was a kid my mom let me watch it on occasion. The two things that stand out for me right now about this show are the theme song and the Carlton dance.

Knight Rider
This theme song is so awesome Timbaland had to sample the beginning and use it in one of his own songs. Well, it was him and Magoo. (Btw, wtf ever happened to that guy?) This is another song that makes me feel all pumped up. When I hear this song I feel like I need to walk down the street and be in a fight scene with this in the background. And barring that I feel like I need to workout or clean something. That's serious because I'm lazy as fuck. (C'mon do YOU know any super active nerds? Really.)

Gilligan's Island
Some of you know about my fucked up childhood, so you won't be surprised when you hear that my mom kept us super sheltered. So I didn't watch a lot of TV when I was real little outside of some cartoons and a few other shows like Gilligan's Island or I Love Lucy. I think almost everyone my age and maybe a little older knows the lyrics to this theme song. Or at least you know the “THREE HOUR TOOOOOOUR” part.

The X-Files
Because really, it was an amazing show till Mulder left and shit got weird. It was the first show (and only show for a while) that I went out of my way to watch in my adulthood. Every time I hear the theme song its like “OH SHIT MULDER AND SCULLY ABOUT TO GET UP IN SOME CRAZY SHIT!” Well, it's that with a little side of spooky.

Honorable mention: The Jeffersons & The Twilight Zone

'Cause we all know about movin' on up, and The Twilight Zone theme was creepy as fuck. It used to scare the shit out of me as a kid.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Dear Ever: I Salute You.

So I'm pissed that the Chargers lost, but Ever, you were NOT LYIN about Eric Berry being the business. He had Antonio Gates on lockdown all hardcore. And honestly, KC looked really good out there, the rookies stepped it up. That's about all I can say for now because my stomach hurts about this whole situation.

When Romeo Crennel was in Cleveland manz and I used to joke that he would reward good plays with hugs because he just looks like a big ol' softie. I think he brought the hugs with him to KC. Who knew that positive reinforcement would work?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I Luh Jared Allen So Much Right Now

Yes, so as we all know, it's the most wonderful time of the year. Well, for those of us that are NFL fans. I continue to kick ass on my Madden Seakhawks *gives the nod to Pago* although last night the fucking Broncos almost beat us. As of this exact moment, we're not doing well in our first week of fantasy football, mostly because Chris Johnson is sucking giraffe balls right now.

Anyway, last night before bed manz and I were talking football and we remembered that our boy Ian had told us about these clips he had seen on NFL Live of Jared Allen doing "Jared Allen Workouts". So we finally looked it up. Unfortunately we didn't find any of those clips. (If you guys know where to find 'em, hook your girl up, plskthx) However, what we did find is a bunch of clips of Jared Allen being FUCKING AWESOME.

Wes Welker was pretty awesome here, too.

LMAO @"Favre throws it into coverage all the time and no one gets after him for that!" and "I'm like Dante Culpepper, like exactly like him except I have a mullet!"

He is so retarded but in the best, most hilarious way.

I love that it seems like NO ONE caught his response.

I really had no idea that he was so hilarious and seems to really be able to not take himself too seriously.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Been Around the World...Part 6

Usually these posts are about the Adventures of Dioracat, but I had to include something my roommate sent me, because we Asians are so funny sometimes.

Seriously? What if that was really how the dish was prepared? And also, what I wanna know is, till who exploded? The duck or the chef? Does that mean special sauce is included? I NEED ANSWERS!

Maybe I was just tired, but I found it amusing that this sticker was on a toilet in a courthouse. I thought only Europeans called it a water closet. 

So one morning I was at a coffee shop EARLY out in BFE 'cause I had a meeting at 6 am. Yes, 6 am. Anyway, I was sitting there trying to consume as much caffeine as possible and I saw this shit on the wall. I immediately went over to the owner and was like "WTB THIS NAO PLZKTHX" and she let me buy it off her. I'm hanging that up on Batman wall next to my Jim Lee piece of art and my cop of The Gotham Times. 

Manz bought a new phone recently, and when we were at the AT&T store I saw this gloriousness. And I'm talking about the girl in brown. Anytime a girl is standing sideways and you see her bottom half forms a P, then you know she's got some booty.

This sign cracked me up because it's all like GET READY!!! with extra exclamation points. Because, you know, when Jesus does come, he sure as shit is coming to SD first. *rolls eyes*

Speaking of Jesus, can you guys believe that this man in this day and age, in a metropolitan area, was wearing motherfucking OVERALLS? I mean...SERIOUSLY? Dude looked like he straight walked off his farm, I was so incredulous I had to take a picture because I couldn't fuckin' believe it.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

NFL Madness & Mayhem

So I think I'm up to my ears in football right about now. Manz and I have a fantasy league going with a few friends of ours, and we're pretty sure we're gonna dominate some shit. Well, I'M pretty sure we're gonna dominate some shit. Manz has been the Commissioner for years for a very serious league of his back home, and he does his research. Plus he knows A LOT about football in general. Even though he's a SRS Browns fan, he still is up on most of the players in the league. Seeing as how that's the case, I'm pretty confident. We had our draft on Thursday, and here's who we ended up with:

Matt Ryan
Chris Johnson
Ryan Grant
Shonn Greene
Calvin Johnson
Greg Jennings
Antonio Gates
Jets D/ST

Jahvid Best
Chad Ochocinco
Wes Welker
Matt Stafford
Mike Wallace
Steelers D/ST
Greg Olsen

Also, since I finally finished up my season on my super team on Madden '10, (and kicked the shit out of the Packers, btw) we drafted my new team on Madden '11. As I said before, this team is a lot more realistic. We didn't try to go for the X-Men + The Avengers type team this time, but I think we chose a really solid team that we can grow with. Pago, you'll be happy to know we chose the Seahawks. I promised manz we'd chose a neutral team (neither the Chargers nor the Browns, nor any major rivals) so he decided on the Seahawks 'cause he knows you're a fan. Computerized Pete Carroll looks like a dude who wore a sweater around his neck in college. Seriously.

Without further ado:

Matthew Stafford
DeAngelo Williams
Ryan Mathews
Lawrence Vickers
Miles Austin
Percy Harvin
Josh Cribbs
Mohammed Massaquoi
Brandon Pettigrew
Jason Smith
Ben Hamilton
Alex Mack
Mike Williams
Shawn Andrews

Jared Allen
Jerry Hughes
Tyson Alualu
Amobi Okoye
Brian Orakpo
Rolando McClain
Clay Matthews
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie
Quentin Jammer
Malcolm Jenkins
Pacman Jones
Eric Berry
Laron Landry

Since I couldn't have Jared Allen AND Chris Johnson on the same team, I decided to just choose Jared Allen. I'm pretty good with him, and I still have very limited knowledge of defense, so I figured the best thing to do would be to choose some running backs I'm familiar with and can play, and have Jared Allen because he pretty much dominates, so I wouldn't have to worry about figuring out another position, or being frustrated at a lesser player at that position. I'm hoping we do well with this team 'cause we're playing on All Pro, but we just beat the shit out of the 49ers, so I think we'll be fine.

OH, for those of you who haven't gotten '11 yet, enjoy the RETARD STRONG face Eli Manning makes on one of the menus. God, he's an idiot.

Friday, September 3, 2010

End of the Week Pron: Tig Ole Bitties

It's been a while since I did a real pron type post, but well, there's my crazy workweeks and also STILL trying to finish my thesis. STILL. (Hey man, when that shit got rejected three times it took the wind out of my sails, you know?) And anyway, my picky ass takes forever to choose pics I really like. I hate the typical pron pics, because I was just oversaturated with pictures of girls in dirty poses showing their snatch. I mean, anyone can do that shit and take a picture of it. But to make the picture interesting or creative in some way is FAR more stimulating, in my jaded opinion.

Last time was ass, so we'll make this one tits. Without further ado:

Those are FABULOUS. She's not even pressing her arms against her sides which every chick does to make them look bigger. They hang very naturally and they remind me a lot of Gianna's breasts. I wonder if that's what Christina Hendricks' tits took like.

Believe it or not, this picture is hardly photoshopped. My roommate who is one of my best friends and who was the director I worked for, knows this girl and he says that it just defies nature, but her body looks almost exactly like that IRL. I wonder if she has back problems. But then, I don't care because her tits are also phenomenal. They're huge but well shaped and they hang nicely.

So, you all know I hate fake tits. I THINK these are real, they could be fake, but I admit I am mesmerized by the wet T-shirt. What is it about wet t-shirts that makes them so awesome?

Speaking of wet, I like this picture even though I think this girl's tits could also be fake. As long as she doesn't lean forward to show any of the ripples, or reveal some horrendously scarred nipples, I give these a thumbs up.

I don't know or care how big her tits are. They look nice and HOT DAMN is she PRETTY. With hardly any makeup on! Those eyes and the DSLs are just mm mm mm good. Seriously. Yeah, I'm biased towards brunettes. So?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

^5s: Music I Wish I Could Hear More Of

You know, its crazy because I feel like I've been writing a lot, but then I notice that my last post was several days ago, and I'm like WTF? Then I realize that most of my written posts are all on my netbook, which I always leave in my work bag, which I never bring in the house anymore because I'm too tired to carry it. Now I have like 3 long ass blog posts finished and more half written ones, but I had to transfer them to my laptop at home. Oh, technology.


So my friend Stormy commented on my post about the 5 bands that I can't stand, saying that he'd like to hear about which bands/music I'd like to hear more of. I've been thinking for a while, wondering about it because I feel so jaded about music these days, since there doesn't seem to be a prevalence of music being released these days that I really like. I realize that part of the reason it is like that is because I don't have the time or energy these days to really look for new music that is along the lines that I like. And sadly, I also go back and listen to music I know I used to really like and think its horrible now. I mean, for God's sake, there was a very short period of time that I actually liked some of the Murder Inc. stuff. I'll admit it, I even liked a few songs that Ja Rule put out. I'm not sure if Stormy asked because he wanted me to think about it, or because he was just curious, but I did think about it quite a bit.

I think I'm going to have to split this into two categories: Rock music and hip hop music.


1. Eminem:

I have been a fan of Em's for a long long time. However, much like many artists in the last few years, the tone of his music has changed. I know that he's had some personal issues and whatnot, but I wish he would go back to making music like: Rock Bottom, Dead Wrong, or Hellbound. Em's performance on all of those songs was raw, and just so...real. You could hear his earnestness and genuine pain and anger just pouring through your speakers. Rock Bottom was great because it made me really feel his pain, especially because there have been several times when I have definitely hit rock bottom so those  lyrics always resonate with me. His verses in Dead Wrong were so amazing because he was his usual shocking self and he spit his rhymes like 50 caliber bullets. Hellbound I think is one of my favorite examples of how he sounds on a non-mainstream, more mixtape oriented joint. I wish he'd go back to making music like any of that.

2. Empowering music for women:

Before you wonder who the fuck this is and what have they done with the real me, just keep reading. One of my favorite De La songs is Baby Phat. I love it because it's so well done, it's an upbeat song that has a serious point without forcing it on you, but the rhymes and the production are great, too. I know, I know, you're saying, “WTF of all people SHE is talking about female empowerment??” I know, I know. But remember that I'm a big girl myself, so the theme of Baby Phat appeals to me. And let's not forget that most women out there are actually not considered “normal” sized. Many of my friends who I think are just fine in terms of weight and looks actually are considered “overweight”. But I don't think any of you reading this like skinny bitches anyway, so you know what I mean.

3. Nas:

Rewind has to be one of my most favorite Nas songs of all time. I think its because I get bored easily and need to be entertained, and you get a little way into the song before you're like “Hold up...what?”  While the story he tells is along the usual lines of shit that goes down in the hood, he uses a great gimmick to make it not your usual storytelling song. I wish more people would just do different shit, music that makes you think instead of ABSORB.

When I first heard the title of Black Zombies I was like “WTF is this crazy dude talking about” so I gave the song a listen and was very impressed. He weaves the theme of people being zombies throughout the song and gives examples – its clear what he's talking about. Another song that makes you really listen hard to the lyrics and makes you think about shit afterwards. Srs biznes.

I should give an honorable mention here to “I Can”. I am pretty sure most real fans of hip hop (instead of the garbage that's played on radio stations) probably think the song is too gimmicky, but it has stood  the test of time. I liked it when it came out, and I still like the song now. I just listened to it again this week. It's catchy because of the sample of Fur Elise (one of my favorites from Beethoven) and its got the kids on it, and its a message to the kids, or the otherwise uneducated. Which is basically most people these days. And best of all, it's a positive message and a plea to listeners to aspire to greater things. Nothing at all wrong in that.


4. Rage Against the Machine/One Day As A Lion/Zack de la Rocha: (and yes I know this is 3 in 1 but this is my blog so WHATEVA I DO WHAT I WANT)

Yeah, bet you guys saw this one coming. I just think there needs to be more socially conscious music out there PERIOD. I mean, there's so much shit going on in the world, and music is a great vehicle through which to send a message. I know RATM has said they will not make any more albums, but a girl can hope, right? Who knows whether or not Zack's collabo with dude from Mars Volta is going to ever bear any fruit than the one EP he put together, but I'm hoping something happens with that, too. And failing all that, I'm hoping Zack does something musical any time in the future.

Oh, also, I would pay CASH MONIES to hear the music that Zack did with Trent Reznor from NIN. I bet that shit was angry as fuck but with a serious message and musically awesome. Yes, I know he did “We Want It All”, but that's not enough. I want it all, too, god damnit.

5. Speaking of Trent Reznor:

I know he's quit making music for a while to focus on his wife and baby, but I'd also pay cash monies to hear any of the tracks he made with the group Tapeworm. It was basically him and Maynard from Tool. That's another  power level of OVER NINE THOUSAND collabo that I'd really love to hear. From what I understand though, none of that music is ever gonna be released. *sigh*

Okay so...probably NONE of my choices on here are a big surprise to anyone, but hey, I'm old and I like what I like so deal with it.