Sunday, August 1, 2010

Raging Against the Machine (Tl;DR inc)

So my boy Ian had me take a nerd rage test to see whether or not I had nerd rage problems. (He suspected I did.) I think those of you who read the blog also already know the results of that quiz, on a 1-12 scale I scored a 10, which means that apparently I do have some nerd rage issues. I suppose it's fitting considering that Comic Con was last weekend, but I did actually have a lot of rage in general last week, but I think you guys will understand.

Issue #1: Ghetto Card Rage

First thing that pissed me off last week is people acting stupid about being qualifying for their ghetto card. Now for some reason, regular people think its awesome to have a ghetto card or hood cred apparently, and its really starting to piss me off. It all started with a conversation I heard two people having about “baby mama drama”. Now both of these people are minorities, but both of them still live with their parents, had their parents pay for college, and lived either middle class or upper middle class lives their whole lives. They kept saying the term “baby mama drama” and saying “oh no she didn't” and such things, and finally I got irritated and told them they from now on they're not allowed to use language like that because it's wrong and it sounds horrible coming from their mouths. They protested but I insisted, yes, pretty angrily, and after a while one of them ACTUALLY turned to me and said, “Well, fine for me but the other guy went to PUBLIC SCHOOL!” That explanation was given as to a reason why the other person involved could talk “ghetto talk”. It's okay because he went to public school.


I got so mad when I heard this that I said, (in a professional environment) “Fuck that, just because he went to public school doesn't mean SHIT and going forward you are not allowed to TALK ghetto for that reason. I'm sorry but you guys down here in SD don't even fucking know what the real hood is or what a real ghetto looks like so GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT” Then I said, “You want to know what ghetto is? I'm from OAKLAND for fuck's sake and I used to live in EAST LA! Why don't you take your ass to those places and see if they don't kick your ass for trying to front like you have some street cred! FURTHERMORE if you want to know what a REAL ghetto is, why don't you visit the East Coast and tell me what you think” (Now that I think about it, East Coast ghettos are pretty fucked up, but a super hardcore ghetto would be a favela in South America or else a ghetto in South Africa.)

I don't even claim to have grown up in the hood my whole life, but yes, I was born in Oakland. We lived there till right before kindergarten. Then we moved to LA. For several years the fam lived in middle class areas but when I left them I lived in and around areas of LA that were pretty broke and fucked up. At one point in the same week they found a dead body in the house right across the street from me, my neighbor on the left hand side was stabbed, and the neighbor on the right was robbed at gunpoint. These happened in broad daylight. There have been times in my life when I was broke as fuck and a paycheck away from being on the street. I've never ever ever been able to rely on other people to help me out and never had any kind of support system, so I've had to live in some fucked up places for most of my adult life. It makes me SO MAD when I hear people think it's cool to be “ghetto”. Its like Treach said in “Ghetto Bastard”:

If you ain't ever been to the ghetto
Don't ever come to the ghetto
Because you wouldn't understand the ghetto
So stay the fuck OUT of the ghetto
Issue #2: Nerd Rage

Here's where the nerd rage comes in. So this last weekend was Comic Con down here in SD. Here's what pisses me off mostly. People who think its suddenly cool to be a comic book fan or who front like they're real fans when they only started reading a few here and there solely because the movies started coming out. (Yes, I KNOW X-Men came out like 7 years ago, but sorry, that's not good enough.) I also hate the fact that Comic Con has become this huge crazy thing where most of the major shit that goes on there has NOTHING to do with comic books, or even video games for that matter. I mean last year there was some crazy bullshit line for Twilight. Seriously? STOP BRINGING THE BULLSHIT TO COMIC CON, PLEASE! I mean, honestly, all you're doing is fucking it up for the rest of us, the people who come to appreciate the nerd universe and who actually BUY shit. You think these silly females who went to CC last year actually bought anything there? Fuck that. Then they go back to their friends and gush about how they went to CC to see MOTHERFUCKING EDWARD. Ugh, kill me.

A secondary but no less rage prompting thing was the fact that I heard random people and multiple news outlets talking MAD SHIT about nerds. I think most of us that call ourselves nerds and are proud to do so are not the kind of nerd they're thinking of. Most of the people I know that consider themselves nerds aren't what you picture when you think of the word “nerd”. What I don't understand is the need for the shit talking. Why? Why is that necessary? Because it's an easy target? Because it's easy to make fun of the people you think are going bald, live with their parents, wear glasses and all those stereotypes? I said it last week on Facebook, but don't forget that some of us who call ourselves nerds can and will kick your ass if provoked.



  1. With all sincerity, thank you for that. I spend too much of my work day around upper middle class people who think they know what the "hood" is because a couple of them have "Straight Outta Compton" on vinyl. To make it even worse, they come to me to serve as some sort of fact-checker: "Ask the black guy, he's from Brooklyn." I say as little as possible. If they were as "hood" as they claim to be, they wouldn't have to ask me.

    And as far as being a nerd, I'm perfectly comfortable with that. I'm not balding, I don't live with my parents, but I do wear glasses (I'm lost without them), I play video games, I read books, and I collect stuff. I don't see any point trying to be a hipster.

  2. GOD that is something that would drive me up a fucking wall, I swear to God. If I were a black man I'd for sure be locked up by now because I'd be an even angrier black man than Malcolm X and early Cube combined. I don't know how you have the patience to deal with it. Any tips?

    Also, fuck hipsters.

  3. HAHAHAHA! Great read as always.

    I've never thought I'd be offended if someone teased my tpb collection. But someone did, and it took a lot of deep breaths and woo-sah's to not punch the person in question. Which also happened to be a female.

  4. You shoulda just punched her. I would've.