Monday, February 8, 2010

FUCK YO' SUPERBOWL! (TL;DR Rant Inc)



Warning: if you thought the Super Bowl was awesome and you were rooting for the Saints, please do us both a favor and stop reading now. I have had contrarian bitch rants before on my blog (for example the Virginia Tech blog posts I did) and it caused me to lose friends. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, so I watched the Super Bowl last night at my boy Ian's apartment, (thank you Ian and Cece!) and there was so much I wanted to say but couldn't last night, and so I'm just going to do my verbal spew here, in a place I feel is safe and where I can pretty much say whatever the fuck I want. Because I am ANGRY and disgruntled about a lot of things and have some mad shit to talk.

Before I talk my shit about the actual game and the teams, I will start with the show itself. First of all, why did Jim Brown look like he was made out of Play Doh like 3 days ago? His forehead was MAD cracked and it was tripping me out. Also, when is someone going to tell Dan Marino to just PLEASE STOP with the spray tan? Man, seeing that dude on an HD screen just made it worse because he was SO ORANGE.

Onto the performances. I liked Latifah's rendition of America the Beautiful, but honestly, I was pissed this morning to hear all these morning talk show hosts talking shit about how she was singing and not rapping, and why is she being so fake and not REAL and from the hood like she used to be. And also, I am hoping that one day American embraces real looking women. I think those of you that know me at all have a good idea that I am not a hater on other females. I love women in that sense. But really though? Carrie Underwood? What's the big deal with her? I just don't get it. Maybe since I grew up in Cali I'm not exactly partial to blondes. (Since there are a fuckton of bottle blondes in LA) Maybe because I don't LOVE country music. Maybe because I'm secretly a communist and hate America. I have no idea, but I am not feeling her at all. She's just a regla looking chick to me. She's not ugly, I can see that she is pretty, but otherwise she is completely unremarkable to me. And her outfit was...I don't even know what to call that bullshit other than hope it was a tribute to MJ. And manz said her hairstyle was from the future, which made me LMAO. Lastly, because I'm a little bit of a vocal snob since I love to sing, I gave her a FAIL for her performance of the Star Spangled Banner because she did not hit the right note at the end. That kind of shit is acceptable at the beginning of a song, maybe the middle, but one of the last notes? Nuh uh.

And the halftime show...*facepalm* Really? The Who? A BRITISH BAND? Don't get me wrong, I like their music, but I don't LOVE them as much as everyone else last night did. I'm not sure if it's a nostalgia thing - although if it is, if you were not alive during Woodstock, then shut up. Or maybe it's a white thing? Their song choice was terrible, they were old and could barely perform, and the only reason the last few Superbowl halftime shows have been lame is because the NFL is too scared of the outrage of middle America for another wardrobe malfunction to actually book anyone relevant to the times for the event.

Now for how I felt about the teams themselves. Because of a previous friendship that ended badly with someone who MARKED OUT for the Saints and Reggie Bush, I was not rooting for them. Additionally, I do not feel that they were the "underdog" like the media blitz surrounding them was trying to portray them. Underdog? Really? According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the term "underdog" is defined as: "One that is expected to lose a contest or struggle, as in sports or politics" or "One that is at a disadvantage". Now, I don't know about you, but I don't consider winning 13 games in a row being at a disadvantage. I also don't consider having a top tier QB on your team a disadvantage either. So GTFOHWTBS about the Saints being an underdog.

And furthermore, why was I supposed to feel sorry for the Saints because they're a New Orleans team? Why was I supposed to feel like they "deserved" a win because of what happened to New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina? Sure, any region that suffers a catastrophe could definitely use all they can get in terms of things that raise morale. But you know what, did people who were repeating shit this morale shit they heard from the media ever even THINK about New Orleans and the victims of Hurricane Katrina after 2005 prior to yesterday? Yeah, I didn't think so.

And how does rooting for millionaire athletes to win the Super Bowl (and get even more money) help New Orleans outside of that? It would be a different story if the money the players were getting were going directly to the city of New Orleans to help them recover. But that's not the case. And you know what? After 9/11, the media blitz was NOWHERE near as big supporting either the Jets or the Giants, and people all across American weren't exactly rooting for the Jets or the Giants to win the Super Bowl. 9/11 brought down the morale of the ENTIRE country, but no one gave a shit about the Jets or the Giants winning a Super Bowl. All of the people who were getting teary eyed that were not residents of New Orleans can suck my nonexistent cock. There are natural disasters and catastrophes that happen all the god damned time all over the world, and most Americans could give a shit about that. I honestly believe that if Hurricane Katrina had hit a little south about 600 miles east to the coast of Mexico, that no American would care, nor would they be rooting for the Mexican soccer team to win the World Cup. So go fuck yourself with your trying to tell me that I should feel sorry for millionaire football players. Ethnocentric American fucks!

Whew, I feel tons better now. I just had to get all that out, because somehow I'm always the one contrarian bitch who never believes in sharing popular opinion, and it gets hard to hold all that in and be nice. (Stop laughing, Stormy, I am TOO nice on occasion.)

4 comments:

  1. "I think he just threw his hip out singing that last verse...." -On the performance of The Who.
    Seriously, the music had no energy, it just sounded like listening to someone flip a bunch of wornout vinyls of their "big" songs on with some gaudy, epileptic-fit inducing light effects (You can't look at those stage moves and not think "Oh my god, someone call 911!")


    By the way, everyone start rooting for Haiti to win the World Cup. That's right, "the other football." You know, the one where it actually makes sense to call it "Football."

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  2. OH GOD...A KINDRED SPIRIT! THANK YOU!! *hugs you*

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  3. I hate short quarterbacks. *Mugs Drew Brees*

    P.S. I hope Mexico wins the world cup!

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  4. Man, Ever, so 4" is a deal breaker for you, huh? Still though, *high fives you*

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