Monday, December 27, 2010

What We're Gonna Do Right Here Is Go Back...Way Back...

...Back Into Time.

I learned a lot this year. A LOT. I came a long way personally and professionally, and it looks like things are really looking up. For both me and manz.

Professionally, I learned that I had had quite enough of porn, thank you, after being involved in the industry for so long. 7 long years!

No, it isn't. It really isn't.

I learned that taking a chance on something sometimes does work out the way you want it to, because that's how I found my current job. I took a chance and even though it sounded like the job was really difficult, and I wasn't sure I could do it, I applied anyway and got the job. Through this job I learned so much more. I learned that religion isn't inherently bad after all, it just requires the right kind of people to be involved in it for it to be something truly wonderful. I also learned that appearances really ARE deceiving. Social workers aren't always nice people despite their psychology background, and blue collar working men aren't always gruff and taciturn individuals - still waters run deep. I learned that I have to understand that not everyone will like me, and that I have to be okay with that.

I think the most important thing I've learned at this new job is something Gandhi said once. "A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble." Because I think it's ridiculous to ask for raises when the people who pay my salary (the members I represent) are getting pay cuts and have to pay at least $1000 for their healthcare every month, and because this means I disagree with my coworkers and believe they're selfish sons of bitches, they've decided to create a working environment for me that has been pretty terrible. But I refuse to support them, even if it means they're going to be rude and give me the mean side eye when I walk by. On top of that, because I refuse to support them, this means that I'm anti-union, against the democratic process, and a hypocrite. (Because they want to know - how do I do my job every day and tell people to stand up to their bosses and stand with their coworkers, but not support my own coworkers when they're asking for raises?)

It's been brutal having to constantly say no, remain professional, and the hardest part of all is having to rein in my usual violent impulses to hit someone and really hurt them. The workplace is the only place where if someone gets in my face I need to take a deep breath and count to ten. As satisfying as it would be to beat some ass up in that bitch, I won't go to jail for those fucks.

Personally I learned a lot, too. I learned that the way our society works these days is that reality television is real, social media is friendship, and faith is science. Or for that matter, reality television > reality, social media > true friendship, and faith > science.

I learned that just because someone is related to you by blood, that doesn't mean you're obligated in any way to have a relationship with them. I learned that I finally, for the first time ever, really am truly okay not having a relationship with my fucked up family. I learned that family really means the people who love you and care for you, not just the people related to you by blood. I did however also learn that building up a new family is going to take some time and effort. I learned that just because my birth family is fucked up, that doesn't mean that I have to create a new family by having kids to try and fix everything through them. I learned that me and manz are really okay not having kids now, if ever. Perhaps the most important part of what I learned about family is that I can't change anyone, and I can't change what people think of me or believe that I am. People will do and say and believe what they want to, and I need to understand that, accept that, and let it go.

I also learned that I'm still a nerd, and I'm really proud of that. Despite the fact that most people (before Big Bang Theory became popular) think that being nerdy is something bad, I don't care. I learned that these days, when I choose to do something that is outside the norm, its not because I want attention. At least, not anymore. It's because I really want to do whatever it is I'm choosing to do.
Why yes, I really did buy a Health Energy Potion.

I guess a lot of the stuff I learned in my personal life is stuff my brain already logically knew for some time, but that my heart had some trouble accepting. But now I think I'm at the point where at long last, my mind and heart are united in everything I do. Now, more than ever, I have no regret. Because of that, when someone asks me, "How are you?" I can really say "Good" and mean it.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I Just Had Sex (I feel a little less hate towards Akon now)

...But more on that in a moment. This last week has been really hectic work-wise, basically working 13-14 hour days and Saturday but I think things are going to start calming down. I'm taking some time off this week and next so I'll be able to spend more time actually doing shit other than working - such as writing in this blog, and oh yeah, working on finishing my thesis.

Anyway, I just came across this new shit from Lonely Island. I have to say much like "I'm On A Boat" made me hate T-Pain a little less, "I Just Had Sex" makes me hate Akon a little less too. I mean, shit is just hilarious.

Also, I don't much care for Blake Lively, but Jessica Alba sure looks good, doesn't she? I haven't felt the love for her for a while.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Redrum Explained - TL;DR incoming

So, my last post was a bit all over the place and out of control, but then, that's how I was feeling at the time.  It's been pretty hectic. Basically what's happened is the County of San Diego came to us with a proposal on the contract that the employees are working under. They also told us that we have to talk to all 10k plus county employees to find out what they want us to do before December 30th. And that really means before December 17th, because nothing happens the week of Christmas and New Year's. Since that day I've been up early and home late working about 13-14 hour days, and weekends. That all started last week and will go on for another week and half.

As it is, working on not a lot of sleep has left me in this weird state of just kind of floating along trying to remember everything I need to do, everywhere I need to go, and everyone I need to talk to. Last week when I started the first place I went to was the a courthouse in the southern area of San Diego. I thought the sheriffs at the courthouse would be mean and kick me off the steps of the courthouse but they were all really nice to me because they found out what I was doing, which they approved of, since they're getting the same deal, too. I was especially grateful when they let me stand inside when it was in the 30s in the morning and I was out there for 2 hours. Sometimes simple displays of kindness really mean a lot more to me.  Right after that I went to go to talk to some social workers, and for some reason they all had their panties in a bunch and were talking mad shit about how they should all be considered peace officers because they have to deal with the same shit probation officers do. I was in shock because I had never ever heard that argument before. Additionally they did all this finger pointing asking me "what's the UNION gonna do" which I hear all the time. That question pisses me off because the UNION is precisely that, a UNION. A bunch of people that are unified and working together. It's not the staff members that work in an office, it's all of us. I was really irritated because they were jumping all over me and not letting me talk, and being rude on top of that. And anyway, aren't social workers supposed to be nice and caring? What the fuck?

After I left there I went to another office of social workers where the social workers have been a lot more friendly towards me, and I was telling one of the women there about everything that had happened, and she asked me for the names of the social workers that had been rude to me. I was really pissed about one of them, and then turns out the dude I was most pissed about actually works for her. She told me she was going to tear him a new one for being mean to me, and all I have to say to that is: KARMA'S A BITCH MOTHERFUCKER!

The next morning I attended a breakfast that was being hosted by the ICWJ. That stands for the Interfaith Council on Worker Justice. I went to one of their functions before, and I wanted to talk about it on this blog, but it was during election season and I was way too overwhelmed. But the most wonderful thing about this organization is that it's exactly what it calls itself. It's made up of a lot of people of different faiths that are all working together to bring justice and fairness to all working families out there. All the major monotheistic religions are represented, and I have to say it's really overwhelming to be surrounded by so many people of God/Yahweh/Allah that all love and respect each other tremendously, and that love and respect everyone else. It was...enlightening. Most of my experiences with people of deep faith have been painful or disappointing or a combination of the two. But to hear a rabbi joking with a Baptist minister about stealing his lines for his own sermon - well, that was just amazing. There was so much love and acceptance there, that I just didn't know how to feel about it. I basically blue screened throughout most of the breakfast.

Throughout the rest of the week I was either getting beat up verbally, or else given a lot of praise and appreciation. And it would happen one after the other. First shit talking, then I'd talk to someone else who would tell me how wonderful I am, and how glad they are that I represent them, and that I'm awesome. Then the next person would talk shit. It confusing. I guess what's been the overwhelming thing is that I'm surrounded by the two extremes of the very best parts of the human race, and a lot of the worst parts. Lots of love and acceptance simultaneously being received with misperceptions, dislike, distrust, and sometimes hatred. It's so difficult to deal with all that at once because you're constantly being pulled in a new direction and there's no time to set a status quo.

I realize I need to take the best parts of my experiences and hold those close to me, and take the worst parts of them and throw those out. Sometimes it's just hard to let go of the bad feelings and embrace the good ones. As much as I say I don't WANT no drama, why do I find it so hard to let go of being angry and bitter and upset? I don't get it, I mean I had several people I really like and respect give me so much validation and positive reinforcement, and then a few people I don't much care for giving me shit. Aren't the several positive and accepting people supposed to mean more than the others? And yet it's those others that we dwell on the longest.

The one social worker lady I spoke to that has been great to me every time we've spoken told me something interesting. She told me that in order to develop the habit of thinking in more positive directions and not dwelling on the negative, that all I need to do is do it for 30 days. Anything that's repeated over 30 days on a daily basis becomes a habit. She said that I should have a rubber band around my wrist and when I'm thinking on the negative side to just give it a little snap. Nothing too painful, but just a little reminder that I need to change my train of thought. Since that day I've worn one around my wrist.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Well, maybe not EVERYONE. Not manz or his family. Not you guys. But almost everyone else. I have had a very tumultuous week, lots of highs, lots of lows. I haven't cried yet (because fuck crying, seriously, that shit is weak) although I have been close, oddly for a few good things. But I am tired and hungry and on edge and overall feeling a little bit crazy, and for me, what that means is:

That's right, Hulk smash. I'm still kind of processing and trying to make sense of it all because I've experienced and learned a lot of new things that were good, but also had some drama and things that were bad. Normally they'd even out and it'd be a wash, but because of the intensity of everything it's just made me feel a little smashy-smashy.

Once I've figured out what I've learned I want to share it with you guys. Some of it is some serious "knock you off your status quo loving ass" type shit.

More to come later.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Gran Turismo 5: Copped. Initial Thoughts. (Edited to add photo)

Let me start this post by saying that I have been a fan of this series since it's inception, and I have been eagerly awaiting the release of this title for the last 5 years or so. I love cars, I love most types of racing, so I've been really excited to see what all the new release would bring to the table. I should also mention that manz has been "meh" on the release of GT5 because according to him, he's never really played a racing game that he liked. I told him he needed to wait and see. Especially since we've been together we've watched Initial D and I've shared my collection of Options dvds with him. So, y'know, after that little bit of car/racing education, he can now appreciate the awesomeness much better than before.

I should also mention I did NOT pick up the "Prologue" because fuck that. I wanted the whole game, not just some teaser to make me want the game more and be more pissed that it hasn't come out yet.

So we got the game last Wednesday afternoon, came home, popped it into the PS3 and started it up. I had manz start the game because I wanted him to like the game and enjoy playing it. Well, Mr. "I don't really like racing games" has been playing it for several hours every day ever since. I mean, I went to bed one night and he was still playing for like 2 more hours. He loves it and thinks it's awesome. 

My opinion on the game? For fans of the series, this title won't disappoint, I assure you. For fans of the genre, you must cop this game NAO. There are just SO many cars, and the new release has such amazing graphics. For a lot of the race tracks that I recognize from watching video, the attention to detail is amazing. They got everything right. The cars themselves are also amazing, and as usual, there are a ton of foreign cars that I have never even heard of. (Sidenote: It pisses me off when I'm doing a rally race in my Evo 6 Tommy Makinen edition and I get my ass beat by some fuckhead in a Lancia. I mean, COME ON.) But still, they did a really amazing job with the game overall and I'm really glad I own it. Probably one of the best things about this game though is the fact that they did a good job of representing all cars, domestic and foreign, and all types of racing. I suggest buying this one, especially if you've got similar inclinations towards video games and cars like myself. 

There aren't that many cons. I would say that I wish there were more rally tracks in the actual game as opposed to being special events, but that's just my own personal preference. Plus we're only at level 17 so who knows what else might be coming that I haven't seen. I also think that if you don't know a whole lot about how a car runs, some of the finer points of this game might be lost on you. Of course, you could always have Google at your disposal, and you'd learn a lot of shit, so it's kind of a moot point, but it's up to you if you want to struggle with figuring out how to make your car faster or if you don't mind looking shit up. 

I think I'm gonna have to spend some time practicing on those rally tracks, though. I just barely got the hang of snow racing and I came in last on my first try at the tracks. That's a blow to my pride, you know. Oh, one last thing. The most hilarious thing about this game is that you will do the gamer lean while playing, and also if you're watching someone else play. You should see us in the living room when our roommate is racing, with manz and I leaning right and left like that's going to influence the race at all. *shakes head*

Edit: I never have put photos of myself on this blog, and if I ever thought about doing so, I always figured it would be a photo that I felt I looked actually GOOD in, however - manz took this photo of me (no makeup, I had barely brushed my hair, but hey, you can kinda see the blue in my bangs) the day we bought the game, and I think it conveys how I feel.

Yikes. I look pretty terrible. Be kind.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Turkey Day! (And other random shit.)

Today I suppose we're supposed to think about all the things that we're thankful for. I used to think I didn't have a whole lot to be thankful for, considering the shitty start my life had and all. But as I get older I realize that the traditional things people are thankful for just need to be applied differently to me. And anyhow, since when have I ever been traditional?

I'm first and foremost thankful for my stubborn streak and almost insane desire to win, because that's what led me to being manz wifey. I can't say I'm thankful for HIM exactly, especially considering he really fought me in the very beginning, and I didn't just "receive" him and our relationship, I had to work at that shit, god damnit. (Sidenote: I haven't blogged for the last few days because we finally took some time off for a mini-honeymoon and there was no fuckin' internet where we were at.)

I'm next thankful for my sometimes ridiculous way of questioning myself and my decisions, because that's what led me to the friends I have today. I used to honestly disqualify almost all women from being friend material. Well, for obvious reasons. I was stuck in this belief that if I was going to be friends with a girl that she HAD to be a girl like me and like the same things I do. Unfortunately I met a couple of girls "like me" but that didn't work out so well. (Read: the girl who said she liked video games ended up liking only the lame ones girls like, and the girl who said she liked comics was a HUGE Marvel fangirl and hated Batman. HATED Batman. Can you BELIEVE that shit? Who hates Batman, for fuck's sake?) But anyway, I realized maybe this was stupid, and so now I'm glad for my friends because they've made life down here in SD infinitely more fun, and they've all helped me in a lot of different ways. I'm especially thankful for my friends today, especially Shellie, because she will be providing me and manz with the noms today.

I hope you all have some noms today, wherever you are.

Onto the random shit.

Random NFL thoughts: At Chilly being fired - AHAHAHAHAHA! At Vince Young being an emo kid and throwing a tantrum - Seriously? At Vince Young sending Jeff Fisher a text apologizing and Fisher not having it - AHAHAHAHAHA!

Random politricks thoughts: Soooo Sarah Palin has Kim Jong Il's back apparently.  Seriously? And people think this woman should be our President?

Last but not least:

Gran Turismo 5: Copped yesterday and we played for like 8 hours. This shit is awesome. Review to come later.

Friday, November 19, 2010


...But then it got better.

Long story short, I finally had a huge fuck up at work. Pretty huge. Nobody got hurt, nobody lost their job, but I did fuck up and cause a lot of people a lot of heartache. Admittedly, it was an honest mistake, and made out of ignorance, but the finger of blame can be squarely pointed at me.

Now when I was confronted by one of the people who was directly affected by my fuck up, I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed. I started crying hysterically, you know, the kind where you can't even breathe or talk? That was me. And let me tell you, that is some feat. I never EVER cry. It's a very rare thing, and when it happens, it's usually because I'm so pissed off and have so much rage pent up inside me and I can't kill anyone, so I have a visceral reaction and I cry. This time was different. This was some serious gut wrenching bawling.

I spoke to my boss who was really great about everything. I had told her about it yesterday but when it came to actually facing the people impacted? Damn. Shit was hard. She helped me out by doing her best to do some damage control and smooth things over. Manz came home early because when I called him and he heard me bawling, he asked to leave immediately because he knows I never cry like that. He asked me what I felt like doing tonight because I felt so fucked up, and I told him that I wanted to test drive the car I had been looking at.

(Sidenote: My previous car was a lease, and manz had a Nissan Maxima he brought with him from Ohio, so when my lease was up, he got a Prius 'cause he drives to Irvine a lot and I started driving the Maxima. I hate that car. It's too big and it's ugly, and it's just NOT SPORTY.)

I had planned that after Christmas I would have enough of a down payment for my new car, but I was feeling down so I figured I'd go check it out and see how it drove. The car in question is a Honda CR-X. It's been called the first sport hybrid, which is awesome for me because I love sports cars BUT I drive hundreds of miles a week.

That's what it looks like. So we went to the Honda dealer nearby and I marched right up to the first sales guy I saw and demanded to drive it. The manual transmission version, of course. So after waiting a bit, he pulled up, I hopped in, and took it for a spin. The car responded WAY better than I had thought it would. I expected a bit more response like the Prius engine, (sluggish during acceleration and not much power), but this shit was so responsive, it had surprising torque and seemed like it had a fair bit of horsepower.

I came back super excited about it but of course we had decided we'd be getting the car in a couple months, so I wasn't thinking about anything about the way it had driven and how much I liked it and how pleased I was with my choice. 

3 hours later I was told that my credit was good, manz credit was awesome, and given an offer I couldn't refuse...and I accepted.

Is this the ultimate kind of retail therapy or what?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Fuck Ryan Reynolds.

Three reasons.

One, the new GL trailer is out today and either it was cut really bad to make it look like a shitty movie (see: Scott Pilgrim) and it's secretly an awesome movie (see: Scott Pilgrim review here at a later date), or it's really just going to be a horrible movie. If you want to be supremely disappointed, then go google it or something, I am not posting that bullshit here.

Two, I read an interview of his that he did several months ago, I don't remember where, but I remember one thing from it. He said that he definitely does NOT play video games of any kind, and that video games are really lame. His remarks following that implied something about the loser-ness of people who play video games. I could be exaggerating a little bit because I was super pissed about it, but I'm positive that he said he didn't play video games because they're lame.

Three, he comes home to THIS every day:

Yeah, fuck that guy.

For Teh Lulz

...Isn't that why we do anything?

Anyway, I thought I posted these a while back for some reason, but then I went looking through my archives and couldn't find a post with these in here they are. Just some shit that made me laugh my ass off for whatever reason. (Which I will explain.)

I dunno if you can tell, but the license plate on this Tesla roadster says "LOL OIL." I thought that was the most awesome shit ever. Because seriously, the person who owns this car has to be some nerd that got super rich doing some nerdy thing that lives in LA and can spend 100k on a car. Oh, and I guess they'd kinda have to be a hippy too, to have invested that much in an electric car. (Even if it is a sports car.)

C'mon, you can't tell me that isn't funny.

This is why I'm like secretly 13 years old. Because this shit made me LAUGH MY ASS OFF the first 12 times I looked at it. Even now I'm grinning because it's so hysterical to me. 

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Viva La Revolucion!

Although I totally don't regret moving to San Diego from LA, there are certain things I miss, being somewhat of an artfag and all. The arts scene is obviously a lot bigger there than in SD, so there are a lot of things I miss out on here.

However, I found out earlier this week that there was an art exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art that was featuring street art, with like 20 different artists, one of them being Banksy. As you all know, I'm a very indoorsy type of girl, but I had to go see this, so we went today.

This Invader piece was just outside the building. Some of the exhibit wasn't actually in the building but around San Diego, on certain walls in the city. I thought that was pretty cool.

This segment was really cool. Basically Invader decided to design an invader piece that would be seen from above by using the streets of San Diego. It ended up being eleven blocks wide and seven blocks tall. They showed a sped up video of him doing the walk (I think he had stuff on his shoes?) and then what it looked like in an aerial view.

The first piece of Shepard Fairey's that we saw, a portrait of Jean-Michel Basquiat. I personally am not a fan, but I can see why street artists pay homage to him.

The second Shepard Fairey piece of Keith Haring. I like his work a little better than Basquiat's, perhaps because of the more overt activist themes and social commentary? I don't know. It's a damn good portrait of him, though.

This piece was fucking cool. To make a sculpture out of all, just by chipping out plaster and paint? It's creative and it's very well done. 

This piece was done by David Ellis. It's crazy, I was in the first room with Shepard Fairey's stuff and I kept hearing different beats in the other room and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Then I realized the beats were coming from this trash can. It's all made of trash and the noises are just percussion from objects hitting each other, but I still thought it was awesome.

Wow. Apparently when you don't work on the weekends you actually have time to go and do cool shit.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Conversations With...

Haven't done one of these in a while, but then most of my conversations lately have been more on the frustrating and intense side as opposed to funny. This one is more of a conversation about a conversation but it did make me LMAO.

Manz: Something funny happened at work today. (Sidenote: He works in IT at the Helpdesk doing higher level support.)
Me: Oh yeah?
Manz: Yeah, I was talking to these two chicks at work and one of them made a comment that was super homoerotic and she didn't realize it, and I said "pause" and they both looked at me. Then they asked me why I said that, so I told them it was like "no homo" and one of them says to me, "OMG seriously? Comic Con IT guy knows about that?" I was like "Yeah, and?"
Me: You didn't tell her how you knew?
Manz: What, that I know 'cause my wife is ghetto? Nah.

I don't know which is more funny. The story or his last comment.

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Oh, one other thing I wanted to mention was that I love the parity in the league this year. So many surprises and things you never would have expected happening. It's something that makes the game a lot more enjoyable to watch.

But moving onto the rest of the teams and my opinions:


Dallas Cowboys: AHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! Cowboys fans are always such arrogant assholes for some reason. I almost always hate someone who turns out to be a Cowboys fan for some reason. They're different from Raiders fans because Raiders fans are just crazy period. So I kind of have this pretty mean spirited joy at their complete collapse.
New York Giants: I'm sorry iamnotstrange, but I really just think Eli Manning is just...a little slow. I mean, seriously. I know they're your team, but I can admit that Philip Rivers looks like a douche. On top of that the shit Eli pulled with my team was ridiculous. Still, Ahmad Bradshaw's on our fantasy team, so I'm glad they're doing well.
Philadelphia Eagles: GOOOO MIKE VICK! He's our starting QB so this motherfucker better learn to slide next time the shit hits the fan.
Washington Redskins: I feel really, really, bad for Donovan McNabb. I mean, I think he's just gotten a raw deal wherever he goes and it's really fucked up. I think he's a very good QB but it's sad that he has such bad luck.

Detroit Lions: People have talked mad shit about the Lions for years, but I think they're finally getting somewhere. However because of fantasy football I hope that Calvin Johnson puts up some numbers this year.
Green Bay Packers: I just recently read an interview with him in ESPN magazine and I was pleasantly surprised at how cool Aaron Rodgers is. What I was not amused about were his extremely dubious choices in types of facial hair that he's made throughout the years. (That didn't come up in the interview, but manz showed me pictures and I admit, I was a little horrified.) Despite his poor taste in beards and mustaches, I'm glad he did so well against Brett Favre. Speaking of which...
Minnesota Vikings: AHAHAHAHA! Brett Favre is a bitch, and he should have known better than to come back this year. Now he's all fucked up and has no one to blame but himself. Fuck that guy.

New Orleans Saints: Perfect example of parity this year. Last year's Super Bowl champs, and this year they are not looking so good.

St. Louis Rams: Another example of parity this year. Who knew they'd be 4-4 by this time? They're looking pretty good and the combination of Sam Bradford and Steven Jackson was interesting to watch.
Seattle Seahawks: My Samoan cousin Pago has to be pretty happy at the way his 'Hawks are doing this year, I mean...they've got a better win/loss ratio than my Chargers do.

Ha. After I wrote most of this post, I came across this story:

Mike Vick - No Sliding

If he doesn't learn to slide and gets nailed, you'll hear my screams of anguish all the way out to wherever you are.


I don't know why but I think that commercial is hilarious. HILARIOUS.

Anyhow, there's been so much going on in the NFL that I've been thinking about or musing on, which I wanted to share. As you all know I'm kind of a football noob. Although, I've been told that I know more about football than almost any girl (which isn't saying much) and also more than a lot of guys, I still consider myself a noob. I think it's 'cause I'm comparing my knowledge with manz' knowledge of football. There is so much football lore and knowledge stored in his brain it's just crazy. But I digress.

It's pretty awesome. I've been listening to a lot of it these days, and I kind of go back and forth from NPR to the local Fox Sports radio. I know, I's FOX and I would never support them otherwise, but I like their radio station better than ESPN radio. A lot of people say that sports talk radio is just all about dudes yelling, but I think that shit is funny, personally. A few thoughts about hosts though - as much as I support my minority people, I cannot get behind Steven A. Smith on his show. I have listened to him on other venues and liked him, but I intensely dislike him when he's on his own show for some reason. He's just...too much. I can't explain it. Also, I really, really, REALLY hate Jim Rome. A lot. I don't know why people seem to like him so much, but he's basically an arrogant fuckhead who thinks he's the shit for some reason. I hate how he just replays sound bites a million times and focuses on one story or on one bit for an hour or more. Who likes that shit? Seriously? Sometimes I think it'd be cool to do sports talk radio myself, but then I consider the fact that I don't like any other sport very much other than football right now, so I guess that'd be a bit difficult.

Don't worry, I'm not going on some lengthy breakdown of each team, just talking about stuff from teams where I have an interest. Plus I don't know enough about each time in the league in any case.

Buffalo Bills: Poor guys. I think they must be the best worst team in football, but manz disagrees. I think he thinks they just suck.
New England Patriots: I half watched their last game against the Browns for obvious reasons, and I have to say the look on Tom Brady's face for most of the game was awesome. I LMAO'ed a lot every time I looked over to manz's computer screen. I do like the fact that when he was interviewed after the game he said that they were beat fair and square and that the Browns were the better team. People don't usually say that.
New York Jets: Why is Darrelle Revis such an ass? I mean, I know he's good, really good, but come on. COME ON! (/Gob) Also, is it lame that after listening to an interview of his I thought it was cute that Rex Ryan and his brother are so tight?

Baltimore Ravens: I'm only mentioning this because I know E-Rich and Millionaire Malcolm are B-more fans. But...OT with Buffalo? REALLY?
Cincinnati Bengals: Am I the only one who's been gleefully waiting the impending implosion of the Bengals due to Ochocinco and T.O.?
Cleveland Browns: I know you guys probably haven't watched their games, but you should check out the highlights. Their trick plays that they've been pulling for the last few games have been a sight that any fan of the game should watch. It's been really awesome. I hope Colt McCoy pans out for them.

Houston Texans: The thing I hate about fantasy football is that you have so many conflicting feelings about things. I mean, Arian Foster is on our fantasy team, and so when he dropped that TD I was like OMG HO NOES but at the same time I was like FUCK YEAH DUMMY! Also, I had no idea they were actually such a good team.
Tennessee Titans: I wonder how Randy Moss is going to fit in with them. People say it will be good for Chris Johnson, but I wonder.

Kansas City Chiefs: Dude, Ever, you have GOT to be deliriously happy right now. I mean, who the fuck knew that your team was going to blow up this season? I mean...that shit is crazy. I bet you didn't even know this shit would happen.
Oakland Raiders: Seven years. SEVEN YEARS since my Chargers have lost to them. That game made me feel ill. The ironic thing about the Raiders from a personal standpoint is: there's a woman I have to work with that hates my guts and is a total bitch. She hates me because I replaced her previous rep who she was BFFs with, although it wasn't my choice and she knows it, but she still hates me. I've been dealing with her ass for 6 months, and last week I found out that she is a Raiders fan. A BLACK HOLE Raiders fan. Figures.
San Diego Chargers: (/facepalm) I can't even begin to go into the many things I've said and thought about my team the last few weeks. But to sum up: fire the Special Teams coach already! Philip Rivers can't do it all by himself, guys! Antonio Gates is the man. I'm excited about Ryan Mathews. WTF Mike Tolbert?

I just realized that this is going to be a long ass post so I'm gonna need to break it up into two.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Fuck Yeah, Purple. (Blue Inc!)

So my hair has been purple for about 5 months now. And no, I didn't roll with the last cell in this comic, I just saved the leftover for my next dye job. Also, my whole head isn't purple, it's just got purple streaks all over. I'm going blue on Friday. A darker blue. Do you know why I decided to go with a darker blue? Because when I was considering what color to do next, and I was standing in the beauty supply store, one of the girls who worked there said this:

Her: "Oh, you want to go with blue next? You should do a darker blue, that would go really well with your dark hair. You know what you'd look like? You'd look like...a superhero! Like a cool comic book character or something!"


And no, I wasn't wearing one of my MANY nerd shirts, it was the middle of the day and I was wearing my business clothes. So how the fuck did she know she had to say that to get a sale? It can't be because I'm Asian. Asian chicks aren't known for liking comics, exactly.

I was so ashamed after this in a weird way that I had to get some dude cred as well and tell people that I also am representing the Chargers.


(Speaking of which, I do have quite a bit to say about my latest ideas on the NFL and sports in general. That's what's up for tomorrow.)

Sunday, November 7, 2010


All those crazy retards who say that there's no such thing as global warming should spend some time in San Diego these days. Seriously? 100 degrees last week? Fuck that bullshit. IT'S NOVEMBER FOR FUCK'S SAKE! I want it to cool down already, 'cause yeah, I am ready for hoodies and cold nights, and also because I'm ready for the rest of fall/winter clothing. A girl like myself with a transitioning body shape (I'm losing weight right now, thankfully) does not feel comfortable having to wear less clothing rather than more, especially when I have to dress "businesslike" every day, and especially when things aren't fitting quite right.

Bitch bitch bitch. Grumble grumble grumble.  

Courage Wolf Says:

Yeah. I've been whining and bitching about how much I hate Facebook, and so I'm sitting there at my desk last night, staring at Facebook all up on my computer screen, and thinking, "God, I hate this. SO MUCH." So I finally decided to just listen to Courage Wolf, and man up. So like I dropped Twitter over a year ago now, I'm dropping Facebook.

There are two reasons for me doing so. One, because I'm sorry, but most of my friends seem to do one or more of the things that The Oatmeal has listed on his "How to Suck at Facebook" comic. The second is because before I got back into Facebook about a year ago, right after I stopped using Twitter, I was posting very regularly here. After a little while I started posting stuff I would ordinarily post here on Facebook, and that was the beginning of the end. On top of that I was so scared of any of my in-laws finding this blog that I began to censor myself so much that it just didn't seem worth it sometimes.

So now I come back to the beginning. I'm going to bring this blog back to where I wanted it to be, basically a place where I could talk about anything and say anything and not have to wonder who was going to read it and possibly judge me negatively for it. (Besides, I'm married now so my inlaws are stuck with me. HA ha! /Nelson)

For those of you that have liked what you've read so far, there's more to come. I'll most likely be posting a lot more regularly, sometimes maybe more than once a day. I'm going to be more open as to who and what I am since this is the very place to do it. This blog was supposed to be my stream of consciousness, a view of the M.C. Escher drawing (nerd alert!) that is known as my mental processes. So that's what you're gonna get. As Pago once said, his impression of this blog was that I must pound a case of Red Bull for breakfast. He said it was intense in a good way. Manz (aka my husband) says I'm just passionate. *shrugs*

Friday, November 5, 2010

Natural Booty

...And today's theme is pictures of ass that I found visually striking in some way. I know I've been lame and not doing one of these for a while, but now that election season is over, I'll have more time to peruse the internets and be pervy and then share said pervy-ness with the three of you that read this blog consistently. 

As a fan of Apple products, as well as a supporter of Steve Jobs' eccentricities (read: a-holeness) this picture is AWESOME.

Up until this photo I have only seen very few full blooded Asian girls that had some serious junk in the trunk, and one of them is/was yours truly. Even in my time in the business, most of the "thick" Asian girls were mixed, or else they had meat on their bones but a flat ass. One of the main reasons I'm never really attracted to full blooded Asian girls is because they don't have much ass, but LORDY this girl is right up my alley.

I do so love old school fashion like this. I also love it that back in the day healthier women were more appreciated. I can DEFINITELY appreciate this PHAWG.

Guys, at some point in your life, you need to hook up with a dancer. I've *cough* heard *cough* that it's pretty much the shit. Plus, dancers have amazing bodies.

When I first saw this photo these were my reactions in chronological order:

First reaction: ???
3 seconds later: Oh...
1 second later: !!!
1 second later: Mmm, honey.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Some Inspiration for Election Day

Just a few things I've found that really moved me/resonated for different reasons.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Random Musings

I am so tired. So so so tired. Dear Buttons, please give me the strength to make it to Election Day. All the 50-60 hour weeks are really beginning to take a very serious toll on me. I'm not sure I have the strength.

There's a bunch of shit I've seen/heard lately that has amused me, although I wonder how funny it really is since these days I see everything through the lens of fatigue. For example:

The other day manz and I were talking to our roommate about movies (he's a hardcore movie nerd, his movie nerddom far outpaces any movie nerd I've ever known except for one.) and we were trying to figure out the answer to something and we ended up IMDB-ing Guy Ritchie. As it turns out he's working on something called Excalibur. I facepalmed and asked the sky if it could please please please not be a corny take on Arthurian legend because I think we've had just about enough of those, thank you very much. Manz and the roommate decided on who the casting should be:

Excalibur's cast:

Brad Pitt as Arthur
Jason Statham as Lancelot
Angelina Jolie as Guinivere
Vinnie Jones as Merlin
Gerard Butler as Lancelot's squire
Madonna as Morgana

This had me dying, just picturing the lineup. I know Guy Ritchie wouldn't be quite THAT ridiculous...would he?

This photo I found very disturbing for some reason:
 A friend had it on his FB page and the caption was: "My sister doesn't like teddy bears." I found out later that thankfully his sister is a teenager. It's still disturbing, though.

Now this next thing had me DYING. Just DYING. I saw it on Reddit, and the caption was just: "I bet you've raged about at least ONE of these things before." I think almost ALL of them have made me rage and want to break things, but there were a few that I never came across. I haven't played Spyro or Elder Scrolls or Prince of Persia. I do remember my first gamer rage moment when I was 10 )after we had FINALLY gotten NES after everyone on the block had had it forever before we did). I know you all know it and remember it yourselves: "Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!"


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm Such A Fucking Liberal Hippie Tree Hugging Communist Socialist Fag

...Or at least that's what they tell me.

WARNING: ANGRY TL;DR rant ahead.

I know you've already seen me talk about making sure to go out and vote during these midterm elections, but seriously, I need to break it down here as to why I'm pissed about these elections.

First of all one of the reasons why I love working for a labor union is because it's an organization that has ideals that are similar to mine. Yes, I'm a fairly progressive liberal on most things, and sometimes even a little too crazy for some progressives. There are a few things that I'm not liberal on, and that's kind of typical of the way I am. I'm usually always in the middle of everything, just swinging back and forth from one end to another - mostly because I like to think I'm self-reflective and able to listen to people who might have opinions completely different than mine because I might learn something.

Anyhow. So yeah, I do support things like, oh, I don't know, civil rights for everyone, and hey, guess what, the poor and needy aren't invisible to me, and I believe crazy shit like the rich don't need to be richer while the rest of us get poorer. Are you with me? Or have you decided I'm an anarchist yet? So basically Meg Whitman can suck my non-existent left nut, because seriously, she doesn't give a shit about real people, she cares about power, and her own interests, and giving her friends the homie hookup. Seriously? 401ks for all public employees? For what? Just to put money in the pockets of people on Wall Street. Fuck that. And fuck Arnold Schwarzenegger. Releasing a state budget that does nothing but make cuts to education, programs that help special needs and mentally ill children as well as cutting out programs the counties provide that employ thousands of people? Fuck him. This is not to say that Jerry Brown is going to be better or that I like him or that people should vote for him, but for fuck's sake people, don't vote for Meg Whitman. I'm probably going to write my own name in and check that off. Yes, you really can do that.

Moving on down to local politics. Now I come to the County Board of Supervisors. They're elected officials, and in SD County our Board makes all the decisions for all the county employees. They vote on their contract (that determines their working conditions and wages), they decide whether or not to privatize, whether or not to layoff people or find other ways to resolve their budget. Typically the current Board has done nothing but pass the cuts on the budget from the state on, so despite the fact that they have money that could help resolve the cuts, they just vote for layoffs. Here's where I get to shit that really pisses me off:

If you know this as a county employee, and you know that our current Governor released a budget that will probably mean the end of your job, but you knew that you could vote out some of the current Board members on Election Day...then WHY WOULD YOU NOT GO VOTE? It is so infuriating to me that people actually DO NOT care. I am so tired of hearing people say "I'm just glad I have a job." Never before have 7 words pissed me off so much. In local elections your vote matters SO MUCH more than in the national elections. Every vote really does count. And if you knew you could do something to influence something like, say, your job or your wages, why would you NOT do it? So much of my job these days is trying to make people care about shit that they SHOULD care about but they don't. That's so disappointing sometimes because people are just so beat down these days, and they just take it. They don't rise up and get angry, they're just depressed. Malcolm X said a couple of things that I feel fit this situation:

"A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything."
"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."

For fuck's sake, people...get MAD! Get angry! If you hate the fact that your wages suck and that your working conditions are awful, well fucking DO something about them then! Don't sit on your ass and wait for someone else to do it for you.

That's what I've wanted to say to the people I represent. And to the rest of you, if you're mad about shit you see, if you don't like the way things are going, well then by God (or whoever you believe in) you have the power to go and do something about it. SO DO IT.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Lesbians Should Be Biologically Allowed to Have Children. Yes, really.

You know what made me think of this shit? Love. Yeah, that's right, love. 'Cause my new husband really loves me, and I have proof of this from the other day:

Say Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johannson were lesbians. I'll give you a few moments to think about that or fap to it, whichever. In case you've forgotten what they look like:

Scarlett Johannson

Natalie Portman

Now, so they have sex and one of them gets pregnant and they produce a daughter. Now fast forward twenty years:


PS. Sorry guys. This is the kind of shit you get that comes out of my brain when I'm tired and/or sick. At the moment it's both.


no, srsly, go watch it nao!

Sunday, October 17, 2010


Hey, remember that time like practically a couple years ago when there were these redneck fucktards calling themselves members of the Tea Party that  actually decided to take Faux News a step further and bring a whole new meaning to neo-conservative? Remember how we laughed at those racist, close minded ignorant sons of motherless goats and said they'd get nowhere?

HA HA HA! Ha! Ha! Ha. 

You know, back when the Tea Party movement started, sure, I laughed. But my laughter was tinged with a hint of desperation, because although I have little to no faith in humanity, although I know firsthand what the middle of the country thinks like, I thought that SURELY such racist, ignorant, hateful ideology SURELY couldn't be that pervasive, could it? Could it? It could. And it is. And the Democrats becoming more desperate and scared and with their balls shrinking by the day, this movement is starting to really scare me. All my threats of needing to move in 2012 if Sarah Palin (or someone else of her ilk) actually became a legitimate contender for the Presidency or other high powered office are suddenly looming closer.

Jan Brewer in Arizona? Carly Fiorina in CALIFORNIA? Sharron Angle in Nevada? Christine O'Donnell in Delaware? This shit is scary, people. Please, please, PLEASE. If you're not registered to vote, please do so. If you are registered to vote, please for the love of sanity please go out and vote on November 2nd. Do some research on candidates in your area, the city councilmen, the county supervisors, because those people make a huge difference where we work and live, too. If you want something to change and are pissed about how things are in your area, then use your power and go vote. Your vote means SO much more in local elections than you might be aware of.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I like big butts...

And I cannot lie.

I love that Nike went with this ad with the misspelling and everything. Because it's fucking awesome. 

Monday, October 11, 2010

Excuses, Excuses. And artfaggotry!

So as I've said before I've been pretty fucking swamped at work. It's been pretty consistent with around 60 hours a week, working 6 days a week. Painful as fuck because I don't think I've ever worked this much in my life. I will say though, that I STILL love my job, which I have never been able to say after working 6 months at a place - usually I know I hate it by the time 5 or 6 months rolls around. The one thing that sucks is that I haven't gone out to do much of anything because I work on the weekend. I don't go out Friday nights because I work Saturdays fairly early. Well, I did that once around my birthday and that shit was SUPER UGLY. (No Dr. Dre) And what's the point of going out on Saturdays because I worked that day and usually am tired as fuck by Saturday night.

This has really cramped my internet nerd lifestyle as well as my postings on this blog. I've barely played much of the new Madden, mostly because I've been watching SO MANY football games or as much as I can during my short times of respite in between my working hours. Stupid fantasy football! *shakes fist at creators of fantasy football*

The good news is that after elections are over next month I'll be able to take my life back again and restart the rewrite of my thesis. I've actually have a long TL;DR post on my netbook I need to transfer over to my laptop, it's one of my old school ones where I went on long semi-educated rants about shit that pissed me off on a more philosophical level. I think maybe only Pago and Dart Adams remember those.

Anyhow, enough of the excuses. I'm going to try to step up my game here on this blog, 'cause I've got tons of pron to share and a lot of shit I need to talk to get off my chest.

Here's something EVERYONE must check out if you know of the great Banksy. He did this intro for The Simpsons that is just fucking awesome. None of the cleaner versions had embedding, but if you want to see a cleaner one just check You Tube. (Oh, I also have some discussion to post about his movie as well...but I'll get to that later.)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

^5s: TV Theme Songs

When I was listening to the radio the other morning they were talking about the best TV show theme songs of all time, and while I agreed with a lot of them, I also thought that perhaps because I haven't really watched TV actively for a while that anything I'd pick would be old school from when I was little. So I thought about it for a while and came up with a list.

The A-Team
I'm not just saying this because of the movie (although I did like the movie a lot) but because I really did fucking love that show back in the day. It was awesome and my favorite character was BA Baracus hands down. When I got to meet Mr. T when I was a kid I thought it was really the greatest thing ever. I used to have a picture I took with him but I think its lost somewhere in the black cold abyss known as my mom's house. But seriously, why wouldn't you LOVE this theme song? I mean shit gets you pumped up!

Fresh Prince
I swear this show was about no color lines because as we know, manz is super white and watched this shit back in the day. He even knows all the lyrics to the intro song. But pretty much everyone I knew watched this show and when I was a kid my mom let me watch it on occasion. The two things that stand out for me right now about this show are the theme song and the Carlton dance.

Knight Rider
This theme song is so awesome Timbaland had to sample the beginning and use it in one of his own songs. Well, it was him and Magoo. (Btw, wtf ever happened to that guy?) This is another song that makes me feel all pumped up. When I hear this song I feel like I need to walk down the street and be in a fight scene with this in the background. And barring that I feel like I need to workout or clean something. That's serious because I'm lazy as fuck. (C'mon do YOU know any super active nerds? Really.)

Gilligan's Island
Some of you know about my fucked up childhood, so you won't be surprised when you hear that my mom kept us super sheltered. So I didn't watch a lot of TV when I was real little outside of some cartoons and a few other shows like Gilligan's Island or I Love Lucy. I think almost everyone my age and maybe a little older knows the lyrics to this theme song. Or at least you know the “THREE HOUR TOOOOOOUR” part.

The X-Files
Because really, it was an amazing show till Mulder left and shit got weird. It was the first show (and only show for a while) that I went out of my way to watch in my adulthood. Every time I hear the theme song its like “OH SHIT MULDER AND SCULLY ABOUT TO GET UP IN SOME CRAZY SHIT!” Well, it's that with a little side of spooky.

Honorable mention: The Jeffersons & The Twilight Zone

'Cause we all know about movin' on up, and The Twilight Zone theme was creepy as fuck. It used to scare the shit out of me as a kid.