Those of you who haven't been spending time with me IRL in the last couple of months might want to skip this post due to its TL;DR nature.
A warning that this post is full of the gay.
So in the last few months I've been experiencing a lot of good and bad things in my life and in regards to friends, and learning a lot about myself and how I relate to other people. I found that for a long time I used to have this very strong belief that I can only be friends with someone if I have stuff in common with them - kind of a male belief when you think about it, because men traditionally need to have things in common with their friends so that way they can get together to do things, like play video games, watch the game, play sports, etc. Women generally can maintain friendships over long distances because all they need to do is to be able to talk and connect with each other, but men need to bond over activities that they do together.
Since as I think most of you know, I'm not very feminine, I held a bit too strongly to the belief that I could never make friends with someone who didn't like comics, sports, video games, the tv shows and movies I liked, or someone who didn't read the same books. It took me some time to realize that if I truly AM on the path to (or at least trying to be) self realization, then what I need is to NOT stay stagnant and in my comfort zone. Making friends with people who like different things than you do challenges your thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. Which is ultimately a good thing and makes you a more well rounded individual. Which is also something I'm trying very hard to be.
I also have always felt the need to make snap judgments on people and size them up right away. Admittedly, this is because I've come from the school of hard knocks, where its every man for himself, and fuck everyone else. Those of you that know me know why this is, and I've been trying really hard to be more objective when I meet people, instead of instantly prejudging them. It's taken a lot of time, and I think manz has been the hardest campaigner for this, because he's always emphasized, as he did again on Saturday night, that you size people up and judge them immediately when you perceive them to be ENEMIES. And that not everyone right off the bat should be judged as such, especially not if I ever plan on having amicable relations with them. I believe that I'm almost always right in my judgments, (you kind of have to be when you grew up like I did, otherwise you don't survive) but there has been one time, most recently, where I was so, so, SO wrong, and I've never been happier to be.
When my boss first hired the new girl at my job I was both glad and pissed. Glad because misery loves company, and pissed because according to him, said girl was kinda a friend and he'd known her for a few years. I girded myself up for battle the first day she arrived. With my previous mode of thinking, I sized her up, deemed her to be WAY too peppy an individual, and believed that she spied on me all day for my boss. After about a month of seeing her 4 days a week, for 8 hours a day, I realized she was actually pretty nice.
Fast forward a few months to last Saturday night. Manz and I were on our way home after spending the whole evening hanging out with our wedding photographer, her boyfriend, their tenants, and Stef and her besty Megan. It started out as a contract signing, and ended up being a really awesome night hanging with amazing people. It was such a grown up get together, I couldn't believe it. Good music, good wine, good people, GREAT discussions. (Ranging from poo talk to a discussion of semiotics.) During the night, Erin, our photographer, (who Stef referred us to) ended up calling Stef Miss South Park (yes, they actually live in a town called South Park) because she's so popular. Anyhow, on our way home I was musing on all the things I just said, and noted that Stef has become a really great friend, and that I was so glad I hadn't been too much of a suspicious bitch with her, and that she put up with the suspicious bitchiness enough to get through to actually becoming a friend. Manz noted that the reason why I liked Stef so much, and most likely the reason why she's Miss South Park is because she has so many of the characteristics of a good person and a great friend...which is so true. And as they say, birds of a feather flock together, and every one of her friends I've had the opportunity to get to know have ended up being awesome, too.
I'd like to shout those people out here, too, in no particular order:
Melody: I'm really sad you're leaving, but I know you really need to and plus I think it will really help rejuvenate you. But I'm hoping when you get back we can watch movies together and you can bake cake for me. :D (I'll make you Korean BBQ, it'll be a fair trade)
Megan: Brad and I have decided that what's so awesome about you is your belief in your own awesomeness. Well that, and your being an asshole with fat kid mentality. I can SO get down with that. And also I'm glad Stef volunteered your help for the wedding, because I know I'll need it.
Amanda: Team Gimp represent! The other night when you mentioned not going out much to restaurants because you don't have anyone to go with - that's so going to end when we move down there, because there's nothing Brad and I love more than finding new restaurants that are yummy and cheap. Prepare yourself.
Shellie: You've been so sweet and supportive of me and understanding of the bullshit with my parents, and honestly I wish my mom was half as awesome as you are. Seriously.
Shawn: You sir, are great, but you should totally be less crazy when you've been drinking. And you should totally recognize more often how great your mom is.
Dayna: I was glad I stayed a bit to talk to you last week at dinner at the Station. Knowing another chick from the hood is fucking awesome and I hope we get to hang more often.
Kristy: Obviously awesomeness runs in your family, and I look forward to going boyfriend hunting with you in Hillcrest, as well as taking you on as my paduwan when we move.
Last but not least, Stef:
I'll just repeat that STEVE has done one thing right in hiring you and I'm so glad he did. Thank you SO SO SO much for being a friend and introducing me to your friends and also of course for being such an awesome decision maker as the wedding gets closer.