Monday, August 31, 2009

^5s: 5 Rockstars I Wish Sang R&B Songs

So lately due to the dearth of good hip hop music, I've been listening to a lot of other genres of music, new and old, and one night, when I was listening to a lot of rock music, I wondered what certain singers would sound like if they sang another genre, namely, R&B. Now, I don't mean this new school crap with Auto Tune and guest rappers. I mean the REAL R&B, starting with Motown and ending somewhere in the 80s. Being a singer of some humble talent and training myself (which I usually don't advertise) its not too difficult to discern which singers have probably had some training of their own, and which could move beyond the genre they were famous for.

It was really hard to narrow the list down, to be honest, because there are a lot of good singers. I had a hard time bringing this list down to just 5. What I did here was list two songs, the song I based my judgment on, and the song or songs I felt like they could actually sing, or that I'd love to hear them sing. Keep in mind that the singers won't have the same style as the original singers, obviously, but I kept in mind their range and what they seem comfortable with. I consulted my good friend Stormy, as well as manz because in some cases they're more knowledgeable on rock music than I am. But without further ado:

1. Matthew Bellamy, lead singer of Muse
"Take A Bow" was the one song I felt like showcased his vocal ability. He's amazing in everything Muse does, but I suspect he's had some vocal training, or else he's incredibly gifted. Or both. The man's got range and passion.

I'd love to hear him sing "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" by the Platters.

2. Ronny James Dio, lead singer of Dio
Honestly, hearing Dio sing "Holy Diver", and also hearing Jack Black's imitations of Dio, makes me think that he could carry off a more old school Motown hit. And after all, Jack Black was able to carry off "Let's Get It On" quite well. (For those of you not interested in waiting, he doesn't start singing till 1:30)

Dio's little ad libs and his singing style make me think he could totally pull something off like "I Got The Feelin" from James Brown.

3. Robert Plant, lead singer of Led Zeppelin
Now I'm not a hardcore Zeppelin fan, but the moment I first heard"I Can't Quit You Baby", I was so blown away by the fact that an early metal band like Zeppelin had done a song that sounded so jazzy and bluesy. No video on this one, but the audio is pretty good.

With this in mind, it was an easy fit to find a song Robert Plant could sing. I decided on "Come Back Baby" from Ray Charles. Unfortunately there were NO YouTube videos with an original Ray Charles recording, so I decided to use the Stevie Wonder cover just so you get the idea.

4. Glenn Danzig, lead singer of Danzig, former lead singer of the Misfits
Now I'm none too knowledgeable of Danzig or the Misfits (although based on recent songs I've heard, I think I need to download their discography) but the one song of Danzig's that I've heard is "Mother". He's got a really interesting voice, it's almost like as if a jazz/big band singer decided to sing punk/hard rock.

It was hard to come up with what he should sing, but I ended up thinking that he'd be good singing something big band, so I went with "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra.

5. Freddy Mercury, lead singer of Queen
Anyone who's ever heard any Queen song (and for most of you that may be limited to only Bohemian Rhapsody) will know that this man can SING HIS ASS OFF. I have never heard a singer since Freddy Mercury that had his range. He's bloody amazing. But I based my choice on hearing his "Crazy Little Thing Called Love".

This was a HARD choice because his range is so amazing that I feel like he could do SO MANY songs. He's got a very strong falsetto, (like in Bohemian Rhapsody, for example) so I thought it'd be a challenge for someone like that to sing a song that was done in almost all falsetto. With that in mind I chose "I Like It" from Debarge.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


I know this video premiered almost 2 months ago now, but I'd like to post it again here because I was shocked and amazed that it popped up on Digg as a top story. Kinda nice to see the people who don't normally even listen to hip hop get into this song.

And also? How fucking rad is it that KRS-One had a little shout out/reference to Kraftwerk?

Friday, August 28, 2009


This week was made up of nothing but stupid meetings and stupider conference calls. Fuck a conference call. Why did I spend 30 mins on the phone with someone telling them something they already knew, on top of how to do their job? Why was that even necessary?

On top of that, Pago showed me a story in which it was deduced that meetings actually make you dumber. I guess I already knew some of what they said 'cause it relates to groupthink and the post I did on it, but it's nice to have empirical evidence.

Anyway, meetings and conference calls get a big middle finger this Friday to sit and spin on.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

End of Week Pron

I have to share these photos, because they're just that amazingly hilarious. This is a surefire indication that you know a girl does NOT like facials. I saw the pics in the sequence I'm presenting them, so you'll understand why I just started laughing my ass off out of nowhere when I was sitting there by myself, not even talking to anyone.

Anyway, let the hilarity commence:

Aren't those pictures great? The level of discomfort and disgust on her face crack me up.

It's girls like this that I wear this shirt for:

(Yes, I really own that shirt, and yes, I really do wear it in public.)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Madden 2k10!

So manz is really a group sports game player, he's not one to like playing sports games on his own. Since he was a kid he's been playing Madden with his best friend, but when he moved in with me, that changed. Well, only 'cause his best friend is still in Cleveland. I know I came into my NFL appreciation late, and I think maybe Dart and Pago know why. If you don't know, it's 'cause my brother and father are rabid Raiders fans. Who WOULDN'T hate football after growing up with that shit?

Anyway, so manz and I were playing NBA 2k9 a lot when it came out, and I always ended up playing a shooting guard, usually DWade. I also usually scored an average of 45 points I think, because I'm a ballhog. In my own defense I will say that because I've always been an instant gratification, FPS player, to me, when I get the ball, I feel like I have to shoot. I mean shit, if you got a full clip and you come up behind someone, you pull the trigger, amirite? Manz noticed that when we played together we won all of our games, but when he played alone he didn't win as much. I think that's because he's a team player, and I'm a selfish ballhogging biatch. Nonetheless when buzz of the new Madden came through, manz started thinking. He figured, since I'm a ballhog and a big scorer, and always play a shooting guard, wouldn't it make sense that any skill I have in NBA 2k9 would translate over to Madden? He considered this and brought it up to me, and I said I was willing to give it a shot.

I consulted Pago about manz plans and he informed me that he also felt it could be a natural transition, because as he pointed out, (in simple terms, so I'd understand, because football IZ HRD) that a SG in basketball was very similar to an RB in football, and that if I was good at scoring, playing a RB shouldn't be too difficult.

Well, Monday night was my trial run of playing a game with manz, and we played as the Chargers against the Lions. Of course, I was LT, and manz was Philip Rivers. (This makes me laugh because he will always be the QB, and I know I'll always be a RB, and you know the statistics on the ethnicities that play those positions.) On offense, he says I did well, because he informed me that a good RB will get about 4 yards a play, and I usually got about 5. Playing defense was a summumaBITCH though, even though I was Shawne Merriman, because defense to me seems infinitely more difficult and complicated than offense is. Anyway, we won the game and manz said I did as well as he expected I would. We decided to start a franchise, and here's who we drafted.

Note: Some of the players I knew of already, and those were my choices, which manz agreed with. The rest of them he asked me to choose and I freely admit I made some choices really ig'nintly, (for example, I chose Dwayne Robertson based on his profile pic, which cracked me the fuck up. Dude looks like he was midway through the nod in his profile pic!) but some I made based on stats. And yes, I KNOW that stats don't necessarily mean shit but what else do I have to go on when I don't know much about the game or the players yet? Sheesh!


QB - Aaron Rodgers
RB - Adrian Peterson
RB - Ladainian Tomlinson
WR - Percy Harvin
WR - Devin Hester
WR - Josh Cribbs
T - Jake Long
G - Kris Dielman


OLB - Shawne Merriman
MLB - Demeco Ryans
LB - Clay Matthews
LB - James Laurinaitis
CB - Quentin Jammer
CB - Antonio Cromartie
CB - Ty Law
FS - LaRon Landry

Feel free to laugh. I think manz likes our offensive line because he noticed I tend to run to the left and according to him we have a good left side. He also says that we're running a 3-4 defense. Whatever that means. Defense is gonna take me a while. I like Shawne Merriman but manz is thinking I might need to play a defensive lineman because that might be easier. (Yes, Pago, I know you already told me the same shit, but Shawne Merriman was too good to pass up and plus his Lights Out dance amuses me.)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Hate Me Now

The other day I came across a SRSLY crazy map that was documenting the amount of hate groups in each state. The list was compiled using legitimate sources, all published, like the actual hate group's publications/websites, law enforcement and news reports.

You can find the list of exactly which hate groups are in your state by going here. All I have to say is...WTF CALIFORNIA? I thought we were a pretty liberal state but COT DAMN! Shit, Texas is bigger than Cali but somehow we have 24 more hate groups than they do? JESUS.

Friday, August 21, 2009


Because I admire how Dart Adams does organized writing on his blog, I decided to add a tiny bit of organization to my own blog, in the form of more recurring pieces. Because I was so over everything today and a little on the angry side to boot, today's (and every Friday's) post will be in the theme of FUCK YO' "insert whatever you like here". For today we have:


I don't know who was wearing the Bad Idea Jeans the day this gate was put up, but they had to know that shit would be terribly ineffective.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

9k1 Squared = 2leet4U

So the backstory behind this photo is as follows:

I was talking one day to the boy Pago Starks and he had told me that his boy called him and told him to come out to the front of his office building 'cause he had something for him. He told me he went outside, and his boy handed him something, which ended up being...



I was dying of laughter and I thought he was fucking around so of course I said, "Pics or it didn't happen."

And this is what he sent me:

With that much leetness on his desk, I'm surprised the shit didn't explode.

PS. Sorry Pago, but you HAD to know I was going to post this shit up here, right?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Taratino's Top 20

So because I like to think of myself as a bit of a movie nerd, I did get a little excited when I saw this video today on You Tube, featuring Quentin Tarantino talking about his Top 20 films that he's liked since he became a director himself, so since 1992. It wasn't until I checked his IMDB that I realized I pretty much like everything he's ever directed. Which is odd, because now that I think about it, I'm not sure I would mention him if someone asked me who my favorite director was. Isn't that weird? I guess now I'll know I'd mention him as A director I really like if I'm ever asked.

In a sidenote, is it really fangirl-y or nerdy of me to be proud that I love most of the films on this list? And if you care, here's the video. Oh, and if you can't watch the video for whatever reason, he says that his absolute favorite movie of them all is the first one he lists, but that the rest are just done in alphabetical order. And, without further ado (with 5 words or less commentary):

Quentin Tarantino's Top 20 Films Since 1992

2. Anything Else - Recent Woody Allen? I dunno.
3. Audition - Also fucking awesome.
4. Blade (No, not vampires, the Tsui Hark movie) - Haven't seen it yet!
5. Boogie Nights - Everyone thinks this is porn. *sigh*
6. Dazed & Confused - Haven't seen ALL of it!
7. Dogville - Haven't seen it yet!
8. Fight Club - SO good. <3 David Fincher.
9. Friday - A hood classic!
10. The Host - Korean Monster movie. 'Nuff said.
11. The Insider - Wow, really?
12. JSA - Park Chan Wook. 'Nuff said.
14. Lost in Translation - Scarlett Johanssen & Bill Murray = Win
14. The Matrix - Indeed.
15. Memories of Murder - Korean murder mystery. Really good.
17. Shaun of the Dead - Haven't seen it!
18. Speed - Quentin, are you serious?
19. Team America - FUCK YEAH!
20. Unbreakable - Manz loves it. Hmm! *strokes chin*

Monday, August 17, 2009

^5s: 5 Comic Books I Just Read or Re-Read

Okay, I won't front, 4 of these 5 were TPBs. Now hate on me if you want to, but I find that at the age I am, I care less about the fact that I should be embarrassed that I bought the TPB, (which I am, seriously) and more about the fact that I was able to find whatever it was I was looking for at this new comic book shop manz and I have located a few miles from the house. That place is HELLA confusing. Shit is everywhere and not really very organized.

So a few of these were titles that I wanted to pick up, and a couple both of us wanted to pick up, and some were all manz' idea, but I trust him, and he knows me and how I am pretty well so I was willing to go on his word on a few of these.

1. Onslaught

Brief synopsis: Where Charles Xavier's dark side meshes with Magneto and becomes the villain Onslaught, who wtfpwns the shit out of everyone and everything.

Commentary: This was my idea but manz was in favor of it, having heard of it himself although he never read it. This was one of the last major storylines from Marvel that I read before I started moving around a lot and lost a lot of comics through moves as well as retardedly vengeful exes. Anyway, it was just as good as I remembered, although I do have a few critiques of it. One of the things I do love about Marvel is the way they tie in the whole Marvel Universe into a huge, all encompassing storyline, but the other edge to that sword is the fact that they always throw in some RANDOM ASS people that have nothing to do with the story at all. I mean, okay, I do love Punisher, but what the fuck? Why was he there? Manz was happy though 'cause it gave some shine to some of the members of his Marvel Superhero B Team. Which leads us to...

2. Moon Knight

Brief synopsis: This is the story of Marc Spector, a Jewish boy from Chicago, who goes to Egypt while working for an African mercenary and ends up becoming Khonshu the Moon God's avatar on earth. He becomes a crime fighter, spreading truth and justice all the while looking like a poor man's Batman.

Commentary: I won't lie, I snickered on the inside when I first heard of this character through manz. Again, I'll reiterate that I'm not prejudiced, I like all comics, so I read both Marvel and DC, as well as Image and a few other smaller comic brands. With that said, however, I had NEVER heard of Moon Knight and thought the whole idea was pretty silly, but manz was pretty serious about liking him, but he has a fondness for B or C level characters. I guess it's cause he always loves an underdog. Well, I do too, which is why I gave the book a shot. All in all, I found it pretty good. Much better than I expected. Which leads us to:

For shits and giggles I will mention here that manz has always had a Superhero B Team that he would love to see together, kinda like the broke off ghetto JLA or Avengers. This team would be led by Moon Knight, and would also include:



Firelord (When I asked manz who the hell this was, he told me he had guest appearances on Silver Surfer. Say WHAT?)


This made me laugh, but I will admit that at least they don't have retarded costumes.

3. Infinity Gauntlet

Brief Synopsis: Thanos is a villain who's a crazy mofo in love with Death and he decides to win her love by killing half of the world's population. He accomplished this by taking the Infinity Gems and attaching them to his glove to create the Infinity Gauntlet, and Adam Warlock and the surviving heroes on Earth duke it out with him.

Commentary: I wanted to re-read this after some verbal repartee between Dart Adams and myself on Twitter. I had read it WAY back when, but manz was excited to get it again, because back home he has first issue. Can you believe that he LIKED Adam Warlock? Anyway, I will say that any Marvel fanboy or fangirl should love the appearance of the cosmic pantheon, it's like a nerdgasmic panoply of cosmic power all on 2 pages. I thought I liked Jim Starlin as a writer but maybe I outgrew him because I love Grant Morrison so much now? Ah, speaking of which...

4. Batman and Robin

Brief Synopsis: Batman is dead and Dick Grayson, formerly Nightwing, takes over the role of Batman, with Damian Wayne, Bruce's son, filling the role of Robin.

Commentary: I was really looking forward to this, and the week the first issue was released I was so excited but had to wait till the 2nd issue to pick it up. As I said before I do love Grant Morrison, I think he's an amazing writer, so I was interested to see what he'd do with Dick as Batman and Damian as Robin. Personally I liked Dick Grayson as Nightwing, so I expected him to be the one to take over in the case that Bruce couldn't do the job anymore. However, I have ALWAYS wanted to punch Damian in the throat and the jeans simultaneously. I think my major mistake here was reading this before I read the TPB on the Death of Batman. Oh well. The first two issues seemed a little "meh" to me so far, but because it's Grant, and because I feel that heroes are measured by their villains, the jury's still out on this one.

5. Thor

Brief Synopsis: This is the new Thor, where Odin is dead, Ragnarok has happened, and Asgard is now floating above Oklahoma. Sif is trapped in an old human woman's body, and Loki is now a woman. Let the shenanigans commence!

Commentary: This one was manz' choice. I never liked Thor because my idea of him always consisted of him being like this Norse cross between Superman and Captain America, but with a hammer instead of a shield. Not that I have anything against hammers, quite the opposite in fact, as I think anyone who knows me knows that I AND my Korean people have an affinity for hammers. (See this post, if you're unaware.) HOWEVER! I will say that I did find this pretty interesting. I was dying to know if Thor would find Sif, and I also am very curious to see how things pan out with Loki being a woman now, because, as I think we all know, the bitches work in mischievous ways.

I think next trip to the comic shop will involve getting more of Thor, Batman and Robin, and the other TPB of Moon Knight. I also need to catch up on Civil War and Secret Invasion. I ALSO need to find out how and why Hal Jordan is GL again, and how the hell Batman died. Man, I'm behind.

Pron For A Monday

For those of you that have ever wondered, "what excites someone who's worked in porn for a really long time", you need to check out the video below.

Let this video buffer all the way, and then check out the segments around 4:05 and 5:20.

I think most people that know me know that I am a fan of the rump roast and legs. And if those two segments don't do it for you, you're crazy.

Friday, August 14, 2009

There Are No Words For How Amazing This Is.

Best. Initial D. Clip. EVER.

Honestly though, if that anime wasn't just tailor made for me. It's anime. It's about cars and racing. I've got a small weird crush on one of the characters. (Yes, I said I have a crush on an animated character, WHAT)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

End of the Week Pron

Two examples of ass today, both retarded, but one in a good way, one in a bad way.

Retarded Bad:

WTF IS THAT SHIT? Srsly. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? At least ONE other person had to co-sign on this tattoo for her to have actually gotten it. I hope that's not really a tattoo and just some drunken Sharpie shenanigans but I doubt it.

Retarded Good:

This rump roast is peachy king. That is all.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Money Over Bitches

Today's post is brought to you by one dumb cunt who I really want to choke the shit out of, but because I am trying to mend my violent ways, I will let her live.

However, I am currently taking apps for the Dioracat Bukkake Squad. I point, you shoot. Who's in? (I will also take suggestions if you have them on who targets of the Squad should be. The list is pretty long at the moment, and includes normal bitches as well as celebrities.)

Monday, August 10, 2009

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
-John Donne

I recently read something for school in my International Conflict class and wanted to share it. It was written by Rabbi Marc Gopin, professor of conflict resolution at the Fletcher School of Diplomacy at Tufts University. He spoke about religion being a part of international conflicts, and the concept that religion can be a factor in the resolution of the conflict. We were asked to respond as to whether or not we felt that religion could be helpful in resolving a conflict.

Gopin's article was interesting considering the fact that it was written by a religious man, but I liked the fact that he sounded very open minded and that he seem to advocate open mindedness in mediators trying to help resolve religious conflicts. One of the things he said that really resonated with me was: "Listen to the religious and cultural music on both sides. Try to experience the religious services on all sides, taking in especially the symbols, sermons, and homilies." At this point I've experienced several kinds of Christian services, a Catholic mass, a Shabbat service, a meeting at a Kingdom Hall, a prayer service during Ramadan, and a prayer service at a Buddhist temple. In retrospect I realize the only religious services that I have not attended, although through no lack of desire to on my own, would be those of the Hindu religion.

Although throughout my late teens and twenties I didn't realize I'd become interested in Negotiation and Conflict Resolution, I believe the experiences I had were ones that enriched me. Gopin also writes that the mediator of a conflict's task should be: "Your task is to help elicit the the best possible religious responses to conflict and war. That task requires you to be thoughtful, understanding but not naive, well informed, discerning, compassionate to many on all sides, and humble...The key is not to co-opt local cultures but to help open the door for a maximum diversity of expression of shared values." I think these are tasks that all people should take to heart and work towards, not just mediators and negotiators because one thing that seems to be lacking in this world of conflict we're embroiled in, is empathy and understanding.

I do believe that religion can be a factor in resolution. I recall reading an article written by Bridget Moix regarding religion and conflict. Religion can function as an "inner third side": "The inner third side manifests itself as a kind conscience within the single individual engaged in conflict. It is the voice that urges us to heal old grievances; it is the capacity to listen to the other side and show empathy; it is the impulse to respect the basic human needs of all” This inner third side can help in the process of critical self reflection which is an important skill for people involved in a conflict to maintain.

From my observations, generally that has not been the case, especially with the United States, since although the United States is nominally secular, many of the laws and ethics of the country seem to be based in Christianity. I have nothing against Christians. The problem with Christianity and most organized religions seem to be that religion in many of these cases works as a double edged sword. The double edged sword is described best by these two quotes from Moix and Gopin:

"For example, Christianity's emphasis on Jesus as savior can help lead people to follow the examples of forgiveness, nonviolence, and social justice demonstrated through the biblical stories on Jesus' life. On the other hand, an emphasis that only those who believe in Jesus are saved can lead to rigid in- group/out-group dichotomies and the dehumanization of non-Christians."

I've experienced indirectly a lot of hatred from Christians lately in the form of opposition to gay marriage and civil rights. How does that even work? "Hey, Jesus loves you, you, you, and you...but ONLY if you're straight. Because it's clear that if you're a dirty faggot or a dyke, Jesus doesn't love you." Oh, really? He came down from Heaven and told you so himself, did he? You going to write a book in the New Testament now? 'Cause Jesus spoke directly to you? Or is it that you're simply a dumb parrot, who can only repeat what you've heard instead of reasoning logic out for yourself?

Gopin wrote that: "Ethics and righteous deeds are the most important building blocks of deep peacemaking, and religious traditions are rich in these areas. But they are often poor at the extension of good deeds to the "unfaithful", the "infidel", the "enemies of God" (who always happen to be my enemies), and the "agents of the devil." The list of those excluded from ethical deeds goes on."

This statement lines up with my own observations. We can be righteous and ethical, but ONLY WITH OUR OWN KIND. Because you know, THEY don't matter. Who are THEY? They used to be black slaves. They used to be women. If you used to be part of THEY, what I don't understand is, how can you ever consider yourself a good human being if you don't extend your empathy, ethical and righteous deeds towards ALL of mankind regardless of their ethnicity, color, gender, or sexual preference?

No man is an island. Remember that.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

AMG PARK CHAN WOOK! *insert multiple nerdgasms here*

So...I just found out today that a friend of mine who's a writer, by the name of Steve Dollar, recently interviewed Park Chan Wook (the link is to his IMDB, if you're interested, which YOU SHOULD BE) about his new movie Thirst for Paste Magazine. FUCKING AWESOME. I love Park Chan Wook. His Revenge Trilogy is one of the best trilogies of all time (up there with the Star Wars 4, 5, and 6 for me, honestly, and better than Lord of the Rings in a lot of ways) and I find him a fascinating writer/director. His movies consistently blow me away and ALWAYS leave me with a lot to think about, mostly about people, and the human condition, and the darker side of the human condition.

Anyway. Here's the part of the interview I liked best, although it is a short one. Do me a favor and click the link though to check the whole story.

Paste: Vampires are big these days, in case you hadn’t noticed. True Blood. Twilight. And now your film. How did you manage to find a new twist on such an old story?

Park Chan-wook: I couldn’t have possibly intended to somehow revolutionize the genre. Rather, I was trying to come up with ways to take a Catholic priest and put him in the worst situation possible, (I found that HYSTERICALLY FUNNY, you probably know why...) where he comes to the lowest point in terms of his morals. In following that quest, I thought to have him as a vampire. I wasn’t trying to do something within those traditions of the genre. All I did was take away from things considered vampire conventions, such as the lengthening fangs or the fear of garlic or the crucifix, or things to do with mirrors, the fact that none of them cast shadows…none of it is in the film.

Paste: The movie really feels like a philosophical debate, or a man vs. woman debate. This priest does a sacrificial Christ-like thing but then becomes demon against his will. A girl who appears to be a victim somewhere longs to victimize. You seem to be examining man’s nature, and whether we should aspire to a higher calling or submit to primal desires.

Chan-wook: I have tried to deal with the existential situation human beings find themselves in, and also the horror that arises from that. We had this character who wanted to do a good deed, almost to the extent of sacrificing his own life, but despite his intentions becomes a demon. So, where does this come from? Where does this blood that turns him into a demon come from and whose blood is it? These are metaphors for the fundamental questions in our lives that are unsolvable. And the fear that you feel when you contemplate these questions. And I wanted to describe these. How you need to take responsibility for the sins you commit, even as you need to commit these sins in order to survive?

I love that man. He's never let me down, and I hope he has a long and prosperous career.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

In light of the fact that Bill Clinton went and retrieved my peeps (the two South Korean reporters) from Mr. SO RONERY Kim Jong Il, I suppose that makes this a propos till the next time Kim wigs out and decides that he's gonna fuck some Americans up by shooting short range missiles out into the sea somewhere. So like, till next week.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Wolverine and Iron Man...ANIME?

So I guess Marvel Studios has decided that they're going to do anime versions of both of these franchises. I'm not sure how I feel about this, because while I do like anime, I do love comics, and I feel like never the twain shall meet. I don't really read manga for some reason either.

After watching both of these trailers, I think the Iron Man one looks cool but I'm REALLY not sure how I feel about the Wolverine one. I mean, to me, Logan will always be a 5'3", super built, stocky dude with some hardcore lambchops, speaking gruffly and smoking a stogie. I do have to admit I feel a little torn because for some reason this Wolvie reminds me of Jubei from Ninja Scroll.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Buttons: Jesus' Magical Unicorn

Q and I one day were discussing the topic of religion, when he informed me that Jesus has a magical unicorn named Buttons. I was amazed at this but took his word for it, since he's a Buddhist and all. I passed this along to my coworker Stef, and she posted it on her FB wall, which then engendered the following legendary thread:

Stef learned something new today- apparently, according to my co-worker, Jesus had a magical unicorn named Buttons. I guess I really didn't pay attention in Sunday School!

Sun Y EXCUSE ME. But he HAS a magical unicorn named Buttons. HAS. PRESENT TENSE!

Shard Maybe the unicorn died.

Amy Um, how do you think he got out of the tomb when he rose from the dead and came up w/ the Easter Bunny ? Duh. Unicorn Magic. gosh.

Sun Y Thank you, Amy. Because honestly, do you REALLY think JESUS' magical unicorn could actually DIE? HOW DARE YOUUUUU!

Shard All of Jesus' magical people die. Wait, does that mean we're not magical or does it mean he likes the unicorn better.

Amy Everybody with any sense knows unicorns are immortal. Unless, you know, Lord Voldemort steals their silvery blood to make a protien shake in the forest. But even he who can't be named can't get to Buttons. Buttons has VIP staus w/ the King of the Jews and shit.

Sun Y Shard, this means we're not magical. And Amy is right yet again. VIP status with the King of the Jews makes you immortal, >>>> than Voldemort, Sauron, and David Bowie's hair in Labyrinth.

Michael Wow! I had no idea Facebook was so informative. I am still wondering where I received all of my information before I joined. : )

It all makes sense now. "Our father, which art in Heaven, Buttons be thy name.", something like that.

Melody How daaaare yooooou alllllll! Why must you make light of the unicorny magicalness. You are all going to a bad place without unicorns or Jesus or magic.

Margaret You people.
Fucked up.
My kind of people.

Sun Y Thank you Melody, thank you. I couldn't live in a world without unicorns or magic! (I do live in one without Jesus, only because I'm a pragmatic agnostic, but that's another story.)

Emily Seriously...this is officially my favorite facebook thread of all time. Flat out.

I love that all of Stef's friends seem to be as blasphemous as me.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Monday Pron: DO's and DON'Ts!

Tips for the day:

DO! Have sex with gymnasts:

DON'T! Think that when you lay in a tanning bed, the parts you don't see, other people can't see either: