Tuesday, June 30, 2009

ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME?!?!

FUCK YOU BLIZZARD! FUCK YOU!

*breathes in and out slowly*

After saying multiple times that it wouldn't happen, Blizzard has officially announced the WORST. NEWS. EVER.

"We wanted to give everyone a very early heads-up that, in response to player requests, we’re developing a new service for World of Warcraft that will allow players to change their faction from Alliance to Horde or Horde to Alliance. There’s still much work to do and many details to iron out, but the basic idea is that players will be able to use the service to transform an existing character into a roughly equivalent character of the opposing faction on the same realm. Players who ended up creating and leveling up characters on the opposite factions from their friends have been asking for this type of functionality for some time, and we’re pleased to be getting closer to being able to deliver it."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So basically what will happen is what happened in Warhammer? All those stupid retards from the Alliance decided to play Destruction because they're all stupid emo kids who thought it'd be so cool, and then everyone who played Horde in WoW decided to be Order. I personally was so disgusted by having to play an elf. IT WAS TERRIBLE.

All this means, I'm sure is that Blizzard has finally decided to come up with a new way to take our money. Fuck.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Medieval Empires: The Scary Edition

There have been multiple pictures on Medieval Empires that have been a little scary, but I think this compilation probably takes the cake. Of course whether or not these are scary, and if so, just how scary, is really just a value judgment on my part. Keep in mind, I find them all scary for different reasons.

Exhibit A:

This woman freaks me out a bit because my question is, who would have thought a woman like this was on Facebook? Playing a game on it? I would have assumed (incorrectly, I see now) that this woman wouldn't even know what the internets WAS, let alone actually be registered with a social networking site. And also, does she have friends? If so, why did they let her post this picture?

Exhibit B:

This kid is probably not scary in an of himself, but this picture certainly is, to me. I feel like he's mentally ill or something and is probably crazier than me and more willing to actually kill people in some horrible way and less concerned about the law. Which is scary by itself, if you think about it.

Exhibit C:

Does this guy think he's Jesus? If so, why? I think what I find scary about this guy is the amount of hair on him that you can see just in the top 25% of his body. There must be a lagoon down there surrounding his junk. Blech.

Exhibit D:

This is a really terrible picture that looks like it was taken a long time ago and was most likely scanned in, as opposed to being taken by a digital camera and uploaded. The scary part of the picture is if you look at the glare from his glasses it looks like he's sitting in front of a computer, so I'm not sure why the picture looks so terrible. I personally think its because he's a creepy pedophile or makes snuff films and doesn't want people to know what he really looks like.

Exhibit E:

Okay, is this a girl or a guy? It's so hard to say, because it looks awfully androgynous. And why on earth would anyone use a picture like this as their profile pic? I mean, if you're a gorgeous model, okay, a skimpy outfit like this works. If you're a gay man, it works. But if you're just a manly looking woman, it does NOT work. Don't people like this still belong on Myspace or something?

Exhibit F:

I didn't plan this, but this um...thing ended up being Exhibit F coincidentally, which is both funny and freaky at the same time. I don't think I need to explain why this is scary, do I?

Exhibit G:

WHAT THE FUCK. This picture is all sorts of scary and wrong. Its a guy, but is it like 12? Or is it older and really disgustingly skinny? Is that a wig? WHY DID IT FEEL LIKE IT WAS OK TO TAKE A PICTURE LIKE THIS? Maybe someone with more anime knowledge than I can tell me what this is supposed to be exactly.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

SHAQ ATTACK!

So as is known by now, manz is from Cleveland, and is of course a die hard fan of all Cleveland sports teams. In recent Cleveland sports news, Shaq got traded to the Cavs, and everyone involved seems happy. Shaq wanted to get out there to his fans just how he felt about the trade. Some people may have seen this already, but if not, its fucking great.

**Edit: Removed the video because the song was getting on my nerves but by now the video is everywhere, anyhow.

Friday, June 26, 2009

RIP MJ

I already posted my ^5s talking about MJ and how Thriller impacted me, so it should be obvious that I loved his music and respected the man as an artist and I always will. In true nerd fashion (the only way I know how, really) I bid farewell to the King.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

That's What He Said!

I think I've admitted this here before, but that term cracks me up when used at the appropriate time. Actually, it cracks me up when used whenever sometimes too, depending on the mood I'm in. So that should explain why I found this hysterical:



In related news, I also like to use the wrong gender pronoun, too. It fucks with people and they ALWAYS say, "Don't you mean, that's what SHE said? Not HE?" And I just respond, "No, because you never know, do you?"

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Justify My Thug (Re-Up from 2/07)



Another re-up of mine, when I was doing some serious self reflection. (For anyone interested, I like to think that at this point I'm fairly high up on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Almost to where I want to be: Self Actualization.) I decided to post this sooner than later, inspired by Quintin's recent post about himself. And without further ado:

So recently I've spent a lot of time marinating on myself, my life, etc etc, for a lot of reasons. Not the "where am I going, why am I here" ruminations, but more like "where have I been" and "who or what am I REALLY" ruminations. Anyway, here's the latest. For some reason I've been on the Jay-Z tip this week.

Nonetheless. No matter what anyone might say about him, let it be said by me, right here and now, that he has said some relevant shit. Maybe not to anyone else, but he has for me. I've been listening to The Black Album for the 50th time. I posted this some time ago in a note in Facebook but I never sat here and took the time to actually explain HOW it is that the lyrics are so relevant to me.

Before I continue, let's see these lyrics. It's really the first part that I like the best:

"I ain't never been to jail; I ain't never pay a nigga
To do no dirt for me I was scared to do myself
I will never tell even if it means sittin in a cell
I ain't never ran, never will
I ain't never been smacked; a nigga better keep his hands
To himself or get clapped for what's under that man's belt
I never asked for nothin I don't demand of myself
Honesty, loyalty, friends and then wealth
Death before dishonor and I tell you what else
I tighten my belt 'fore I beg for help
Foolish pride is what held me together through the years
I wasn't felt which is why I ain't never played myself
I just play the hand I'm dealt, I can't say I've never knelt
Before God and asked for better cards at times to no avail
But I never sat back feelin sorry for myself
If you don't give me heaven I'll raise hell
'Til it's heaven"

Now. I've lived in a lot of places in my life, and one place I am glad that I lived in...or rather two places, if you think about it...is the 'hood and the barrio. Yeah, I lived in the ghetto. Was born in Oakland (or a tiny city close to it that no one's ever heard of) and while living in LA, have spent a lot of time in and around the hood. It's not necessarily something I pride myself on, but I AM glad it happened. Why? Well, I saw a lot of shit and went through a lot of shit that I would never have seen or experienced. It put me in a much different state of mind, I think, than any of my "peers". Meaning, more specifically, any younger Asian females that were raised in a basically middle class environment. With this in mind, I continue.

I've never been to jail. Yeah I've committed crimes, (no I don't just mean dowloading shit illegally) I've done my share of petty theft, been an accessory to a few things I shouldn't have been, whatever. But I wouldn't ever pay anyone to do anything I was scared to do myself. If I want shit done, *I* will do it. Since after all it's been proven time and again, if you want something done right, do it yourself.

I've never ratted anyone out, I've never told anyone something solely for the sake of saving my own ass. Fuck that. I would never roll over on anyone, would never try and sell someone out. I've never run away from ANYTHING. My responsibilities or from the cops or anything like that, either.

I would never let myself be treated like a bitch. And when I say bitch, I don't mean the "bitch" I'm usually proud of being (read: a strong minded female) I mean like, a little cowardly pussy. No one would ever be able to lay hands on me and get away with it. If you lay a finger on me in a way I don't like, I'll kill you.

I like to believe that I'm not a hypocrite. I don't ask people for anything that I wouldn't give them in turn (although hence, I never ask anyone for anything, but there's as reason why and that's a whole long, other, different story). I also don't expect more from people than I myself am either willing or capable of doing. And there have been many, many times in my life, where I did tighten my belt rather than ask for help. I've been hungry more than a few times because I was too proud to ask someone for money or help in some way...and that's because I don't want ANYONE to ever say that I owed them anything. I would never want anyone to be able to claim that anything I have or am was because of them. EVER.

And yes, foolish pride has held me together and made me who I am, for better or for worse. And I can be proud of the fact that I've tried my damndest to never play myself. I would never do something if I didn't believe in what I was doing. I would never be something I didn't believe in or support anyone I didn't believe in. I would never sacrifice my strongest principles for trivial shit. Never. People have said I would sell out for money, but that is because I believe that they would do the same and cannot fathom the mind of someone who would not. I like to think I'm like Rorschach. I have lived a life relatively free of compromise and would like to keep it that way. When I die, I want to do so knowing I stayed true to myself. Nothing else matters.

Now this last part here? Sure I have sat back and felt sorry for myself, but I got over it soon enough and played the hand I was dealt. And I did ask God for better cards, most of the time to no avail. I've asked God for better cards quite a bit recently, what can I say? Has he dealt me a better hand than the ones I've been playing? I believe so. But of course, only time will tell. From what I've learned about poker I know I can say that I will do the most that I possibly can with the cards I do have. That's really the best anyone can do. In the meantime I like to believe that I'm a woman, no, a PERSON of honor and integrity, someone who still believes in honor and integrity for that matter. Someone who would die or kill for the things I truly, truly believed in. Someone who isn't afraid to be passionate and CARE about things. Someone who isn't afraid to die, fight, or kill for the things she wants and believes in.

The main two things I would die or kill for? Love. Honor.

So ask yourself. What would YOU die or kill for?

Monday, June 22, 2009

Monday Pron: SUPAMAN DAT HO!



I never ever ever EVER thought in my life I would think a Souljah Boy lyric was relevant, but I had to use it as a title for the photo below. Have you ever hit it and it was so amazing that afterward you just wanted to do THIS?



Yeah, me too.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Random Artfaggotry

Of course as is known by most people that know me by now, I'm quite the artfag. Now admittedly, I'm kind of an odd artfag because I don't like all things artsy, and I certainly don't have any funky artistic skill, designing abilities, or even awesome fashion sense. But I DO have an abundant appreciation of those people that do have these things. And so I present some photos I saw from a British photographer named Toby Allen, using a technique called "tilt shift". What's cool about them is that it seems like its just pictures of miniatures, but these are photos of actual places in London and they look the way they do because he uses the tilt shift technique:









If you'd like to see more, click here.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Sneakerhead + Fat Kid Mentality = Win

I never thought I would somehow be able to mix being a sneakerhead and having fat kid mentality, but I've now seen a picture that proves me wrong in that respect.



I suppose you can't really tell, but they kiiiinda look like my Air Max 90s.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

BALLS!

One of my favorite things to do is when someone says the word BALL or BALLS in my presence, is to take to a 3rd grade level and say REALLY LOUDLY, "OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST SAY BALLS?!!!" I do this with other words that have a naughty connotation but the BALLS one is my favorite.

With that said, when I saw this GIF of some serious MMA fail I died. Blogger is weird about GIFs sometimes, so if you can't view it, and you care enough to see MMA craziness as having to do with a whole lotta fail, balls & accidental teabagging, let me know and I'll email you the GIF. It's really worth it. Well, to me.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Capitalism's Dark Side: Re-Up from 10/08

Another re-up of mine, that I'm reposting after being urged by the lil' bro. By the way, I realize this could be tl;dr, but its something I am asking ALL of you to please read and think about, because its tied in directly with our futures, and the future of our children, and this country as a whole. This is for you, O:

Capitalism has a very very dark side, full of anger and greed and hate. And much like Anakin Skywalker, I feel its one that we definitely have been seduced by, so much so that we don't even consider its repercussions.

Anyhow, the fall semester of last year was the last I attended on campus for school. My Adventures in Higher Learning one week entailed me giving a persuasive 15 minute speech to my class, about the topic of Capitalism. And here's what I said:

So I have a few questions for you, and think about whether or not these are questions you've been asking yourself lately too: Are we entering a recession or already in one? Are we headed for the Great Depression Part 2? Is the cost of living going to get even higher?

But when we're thinking of these things, when Bush is passing a $700 billion dollar financial bailout plan, we're thinking of the symptoms. None of us are really considering the real issue: our economic system, capitalism - which is one that quite honestly hasn't proven to be particularly efficient or successful. It's actually failed several times: in the US, currently and in the Depression, in Asia, currently and in the Asian financial crisis of the late 90s, and during the economic recession of Western capitalist countries in the early part of this decade.

So what is capitalism exactly? To define it, capitalism is the economic system in which the means of production are owned by private persons, and operated for profit and where investments, distribution, income, production and pricing of goods and services are predominantly determined through the operation of a free market, rather than by central economic planning. Technically, production of capital and assets are supposed to be governed by the free market, but unfortunately, what sounds like it might work on paper often fails in practice.

Not many people really consider what exactly capitalism means, or rather, what it means to them. A lot of people think that capitalism and democracy go hand in hand. But although they ARE associated, definitively they're totally independent of each other. Nominally we have a democratic government, and a capitalist economic system. We hear all the time that we live in a democratic society, but we really don't, we live in a capitalist society. The government we have is only one aspect of our society, especially when it comes to what we deal with in our lives on a daily basis. That's where the capitalist aspect of society comes in - which is really the predominant part. Democracy and capitalism can hardly go hand in hand when our economy isn't exactly democratic either. If it were it would mean that we all would have an equal say on how the resources were distributed, instead of now, where those who have the most capital (in this case, corporations) decide how everyone will work, plus they own most of the land and large portions of the media, so they also affect the ecological and psychological aspects of our environment.



What does this mean exactly? It means that the economic system in our society actually has more influence on our day-to-day lives than our government. It means that its economics that decides who has control over the capital, the resources, how they're used, and what people have to do every day to survive. And what does this mean to YOU more specifically? It means that your opportunities to work and earn money are controlled by corporations because it takes resources to make more resources, and not many of us when we graduate will actually have resources with which to build upon to make money with. So you're essentially at the mercy of those that do have those resources, because the only resource you have to use is that of your time and labor, which you have to sell in order to survive. But selling your time and labor to the highest bidder just reinforces their power, since as we all know, most of us are overworked and underpaid, because it's in a corporation's best interest to pay you as little as they can get away with. That's how they make money off of you and your labor. Of course, with our version of capitalism here in the United States, we all have the opportunity to “make it”, to succeed, to own our own business and make tons of money. But the problem with that is it’s just an opportunity. It’s a chance. And in the economy of today, the fact is that the little guy trying to take on big business has a very low chance of actually making it, any SBA loans from the government you could have gotten a few years ago to start a business are now funds being allocated towards all the big business that failed and needed that bailout.

This aspect of capitalism to me is the worst of all. Because most people spend their lives doing whatever pays the most instead of doing what they'd really like to be doing. You trade your time and labor for your dreams and material possessions. Sure you can buy stuff to make yourself feel better - what they now call retail therapy, but can you actually ever buy back the time you spent at work? No, and all you have to show for it is the bills you have to pay. Capitalism makes people value material things, rather than free thought and actions, and the ability to spend your time doing the things you want to do. So you focus on what you have, instead of what you do, and you spend your life competing for those things against other people like you in the workforce so you can survive and gain those status symbols.



And this is not to say that competition is a bad thing. It's not at all. The way capitalism has evolved, we're all competing in the free market and this does encourage productivity, but it rewards material productivity above everything else, which doesn't give corporations any reason to care about the environment and wildlife in the pursuit of making money. And since our competitive free market encourages this attitude, that just means that, in what's called "planned obsolescence" we get lesser quality products so we have to keep buying new ones to replace them. We don't get the products that are most relevant to our lives and our happiness, but the products that are easiest to sell and are the most profitable.



As a domino effect this also means that those corporations that do the best job of convincing us that we need their products make the most money. That's why Coca-Cola and Pepsi, who make essentially useless products, are so huge. They aren't successful because they made things that had some real value to society, or even by making the best tasting or healthiest drinks, but because they are the best at advertising their products.

Yes, there are a few people who get paid to do what they've always wanted to, and we're always told these stories to give us the false hope that one day we can be like them if we work really hard...and if we don't end up like them then that just means that you didn't work hard enough. Realistically though, we can't all be rock stars or professional athletes, because who would produce the records, and who would sell all those athlete's shoes? But let's say you end up one of those lucky people, sure, you made it, but do you really want to live in a world filled with disgruntled people who never got to live their dreams or maybe never even got to have any?

Donald Trump said it best: To be rich today is merely to own the largest number of meaningless objects - to possess the greatest amounts of poverty.

I personally believe that people would be happier overall in a society where they were encouraged to value their ability to really think and do what they want to do. But to get there we all need to stop competing against each other and work together and share the resources. We need to be truly free to choose the lives we want to live without being afraid of all the things we're afraid of now. We can't be subject to a dog eat dog mentality, to the cutthroat competition of corporate America, because that just encourages greed and selfishness. We need to embrace an economy that is based on each person being able to do what they want with their lives and offer others what he or she is most qualified to offer. Resources could be shared by everyone and exchanged, like fair trade, or a barter system, rather than hoarded by the privileged few. And I'm not advocating some idea of utopian communism per se; let’s take for example the Soviet Union's economy. Their practice of communism was in fact somewhat similar to Western capitalism, no matter what they might have thought about it. They too, ended up exploiting their workers and the environment. In their case however, the government controlled the resources exclusively. In Western capitalist societies, the corporations do. And the Soviet Union's competition was on a larger scale; they competed against other countries and governments instead of other people in the workforce. I will concede though that the one good thing about Western capitalism as opposed to communism is that while in Soviet Russia everyone worked for the government and was “equal”, in capitalist societies you still do have the chance to succeed individually, regardless of how small that chance may be.



Think about it. When you truly love someone and are loved by them, whether its a friend, a relative, or a significant other, you're valued for who you are, not what you're worth. You give and you're happy to do it, and happy to receive. Often it seems like you’re happier to give and spread some joy than to receive. Seems like we get more out of our personal equal exchange oriented relationships than out of a capitalist society in general...so couldn't this private aspect of our lives be applied to society as a whole? When you live with roommates you get along with, don't you all share the responsibilities of cleaning and taking out the trash? Why do we need different classes and types of workforces, when all that does is just to enforce class differences? Why can't we provide for our own needs without being forced to by an outside authority? It's almost as if we're all just children that need to be told what to do and given “rules” to follow.

People might say that capitalism does work for some people, namely the rich and the corporations, but I think it’s in everyone's best interest, even them, to do away with it. After all, they only succeed by trying to stay ahead of the competition, and if they falter for a moment, then they get trampled under, too. Aren't freedom of thought and action worth more then material possessions, or shouldn't they be? It doesn’t seem they are, which means then our society is really in the depths of true poverty. We can’t see everyone else as part of a group, like the "masses" or the "workforce" or the "rich". The masses are made up of people. The workforce is YOU and your co-workers, your friends and families. The rich aren't any happier or living more worthwhile lives than anyone else. We need to start realizing that we’re all people, and that we need to work together to pursue our freedom.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

FUCK YO' SOCIAL NETWORKING PART DEUX!



Recently Quintin AKA Niccolus had manz and I watch the show The Big Bang Theory. I have to admit that initially I was a little leery because it IS a sitcom, and I detest sitcoms. He kept telling us that it was total geek comedy and we would love it, but I still remained skeptical because I wondered how much a show like that would have to sacrifice in regards to its own integrity to appeal to the masses. Let it be known that I was wrong, and the show is hilarious. If anyone has ever considered themselves a nerd/geek or known any nerds or geeks then I'm positive you'll realize a lot of the characterizations on the show seem to be true to life. As the saying goes, "It's funny 'cause it's true."

But I digress. What does this show have to do with the title of this post? Let me explain. See, here's the thing. There's this character on the show, his name is Sheldon. He was a child prodigy who went to college at 11. He's got multiple psychological issues, he's OCD in multiple ways, and also seems to have Asperger's or symptoms of Asperger's. (A lot of nerds seem to have Asperger's, or even claim to, but the bottom line is that they're really just socially awkward.) Here's where I come to the crux of the issue. Sheldon is relatively neurotic and anti-social, which is to be expected, but something that seems to elude him is social activity and social conventions. In one episode, Sheldon does not want to buy his friend/roommate Leonard a birthday present, but is told that its a "non-optional social convention." In his world, a lot of what other people do socially makes no sense and is completely illogical. As I get older and time passes I realize I am getting more and more that way myself. So many social conventions or social considerations just make less and less sense to me. I seem to be having more and more issues as time passes and they don't seem to be issues that I can change or improve without a lot of work. Let me address each social medium on the internets that I am having issues with:

Meetup: Several months ago I was thinking that I need more friends. It was a little lonely I admit, after having moved to a new city where I don't know anyone, and hadn't really made any friends out here, with no way to meet them. So I joined this site because it seems to be tailor made for people in my situation. The few people I met in person don't seem at all to be people I'd like to be friends with or have anything in common with, nor would I enjoy their company. Of the 3 girls I met, 2 of them ended up being far too young for me to be able to enjoy their company, and 1 of them is on the "to be sanctioned" list. She's ended up being a little too high maintenance and needing constant affirmation with everything she does in my presence. I don't want to feel obligated to pat her on the head constantly, because I'm made to feel guilty if I don't do it. I've decided I'm batting a 0 with this site and will most likely not be using it in the future.

Facebook: I've pretty much fallen back on this site completely except for the games. Like most things, I'm in it for the games and that's it. While I do like to know how people are doing, the 5 millions quizzes and activities that are being spammed in my newsfeed are out of control. No offense to anyone whatsoever, but I'm no longer logging into Facebook's home page. I'm just logging into the games directly. I've tried to reduce all this madness in my newsfeed but with the way Facebook's changed everything around since their last update, it makes it extremely hard to do. And so I'm no longer going to be checking the front end. Now, this could hurt some people's feelings, from what I understand, but I think anyone who knows me knows that I don't intend to hurt other people's feelings. And if I do, trust me, you'll know.

Twitter: I've already talked about why I joined Twitter to begin with. However, the upliftment and entertainment I used to derive seems to fade more and more each day. Twitter is seeming more and more like a way for people to be completely self centered and narcissistic. All most people seem to be able to talk about is what goes on in their daily lives and to gossip about others. (And sure, I personally do talk a bit about my daily life, but I also like to talk about politics and current events with people, too.) While women do in fact do a lot of gossiping and shit talking, I've noticed that a lot of men do a lot of gossiping and shit talking themselves about hip hop artists and other celebrities, which amounts to the same thing. Honestly? I just don't care. A lot of the people I've met on Twitter seem to be intelligent and have a good sense of humor. But what does it all boil down to? Relationship issues and gossip. Wow, seriously? I guess it could be argued that I'm following the wrong people. But then this just means I need to UN-follow about a dozen people that I really do like as people. And if I did that and they noticed I did, then that of course just means they'd be hurt. But why? Who am I to you? What significance do I have in your daily life? I'm just some random bitch on the internet. Why does it matter so much what I think or have to say? This is what I don't understand. I'm seeing now that it's been ridiculous for me to be upset about things that occur online in a social media context. So while I'm not exactly saying "FUCK THIS GAME! I QUIT!" I am going to be on Twitter much less frequently and probably phasing it out at some point. I'm not 100% sure yet, but don't worry Twitter and Twitter people, its not you, its me.

In a way I feel like the friends that I have that have quit playing WoW. They all say the same thing: "I need to find better hobbies! I need to live my life! I need to get out and be productive!" Because honestly, I do need to do all those things. My 2nd to last semester of grad school is starting soon, and I'm going into full swing wedding planning. And even MORE importantly, I need to spend more time being a nerd. I need to spend more time playing video games. I need to spend more time reading. Do you know, I went from reading about 4 books a week, to reading 1 in the last 2 months? (Okay, admittedly I struggled with it because I don't think I'm smart enough, and continued trying because I'm stubborn, but still.) Keeping up with people on Facebook and Twitter is seeming more like a job I don't want to do anymore and don't even get paid to do. I'd much rather meet people gaming.

So in conclusion, my experimentation with social media and social networking has resulted in inconclusive results. I've met some amazing people, and gotten to know some people better that I wish I hadn't. Kinda like dating, but not. But don't worry, like I said, it's not you, it's me.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

APPLE IN TROUBLE? HO NOES!

So like, hate to break it to any Mac fanboys or fangirls, but...APPLE IS IN TROUBLE! THIS IS BAD NEWS!



I fucking love marketing like this because I feel like it ALWAYS comes back to bite you in the ass. Amirite?

Monday, June 8, 2009

Me: The Ultimate Man-Woman. (Re-up from 12/06)

This is something I wrote about 7 years ago or so, but looking back on it, it obviously still applies. Those of you that know me at all will most likely NOT be surprised at this, and those that don't know me as well might understand who I am and where I come from a wee bit better. Based on a lot of recent interaction and observation, I chose to re-up this post. If you've already read it, (Possibly Dart and Stormy) I've edited and tweaked it a bit so its different than it was when I originally posted it.



I am very fond of calling myself “the most misogynistic woman I know.” Yes, I am proud to hold such a title, and inevitably whenever I say this, whoever I'm talking to just looks at me like I’m a freak. Then of course follows the obvious question: “How can YOU be misogynistic? You’re a WOMAN!” Yes, I KNOW I’m a woman, and still am the last time I checked. So, how can I say that I HATE women? Well, there is a thin line between love and hate...so let me explain what I mean.

Being raised in a strict Asian household, my parents were supposed to teach me my “rightful place” as a woman. (Whatever or wherever that place was I still don’t think I’ve found it.) Naturally, in high school, I was determined to be different. I was a rebel. Hanging around with boys all the time had me start to imitate them. I did not behave like a “young lady.” I always sat in chairs without crossing my legs, preferred jeans, and cursed like a sailor. My male friends were comfortable around me, and talked freely about everything. They told me often that they didn’t really consider me to be a “normal” girl. As a teenager, privately, I confess I was a little insulted. Publicly I took it as a compliment. As I got older I began to see that it was indeed a compliment. I also began to sneer and jeer at the “normal” girls: girls that were afraid to break a nail. Girls that hated the “guy stuff”: video games, comic books, sports and cars, when I myself loved these things. Most of the girls I knew were very superficial, and would talk about pretty much only two subjects. Fashion, and guys. That was it. After being in the company of most girls at the time I felt irritated and frustrated. I also couldn’t stand the backstabbing, vindictive, cut and thrust activities that you’d see in all female groups. I preferred to be in the rough and tumble, relatively open and honest company of boys.

I think honestly one of the major things that sets me apart from other women, (and I don't mean in a way that makes me better than other women, but that makes me feel totally alien to them) is the fact that I can't participate in their backstabbing and undercutting culture. I don't gossip or talk shit behind people's backs really. If I ever say anything about anyone else, its something I've already said to their face, or would say to their face. Why talk shit about other females? I honestly would rather spend time thinking/discussing how hot they are. Yes, because I can appreciate them the same way men do, in a sexual way. I kissed a girl long before Katy Perry did and WAY before being bisexual was popular. How could you not love women sexually? No offense, guys, but they're a lot prettier, (mostly, these days I wonder though) softer, and they smell better than men do.

This whole attitude of mine has stayed with me till today. I laugh at women who put on makeup in the car and can’t steer. Women who do the Austin Powers 3 point turn move when they're trying to park normally in a parking space. Women who say they're gamers, but only like the cute-sy games on the Wii. But I must admit I’ve had my own share of losses to traditional feminine society. My beauty salon owning stepmother urged me to fix my hair and learn what sorts of makeup to buy and how to use it. I began to see boys as men that appreciated a woman that LOOKED like a woman. I guess I'm proud to say that I can get a full face of makeup on and put on a skirt and heels and look pretty damned good in 30 minutes or less.

As I have gotten older, I have begun to see that women like me aren’t TOTALLY atypical, but we’re still very rare. A little while ago I was in a nail salon with a supposed friend of mine and I was getting a pedicure but declined to get a manicure. When my friend heard that, she VERY loudly said, “What’s wrong with a manicure?? Stop being such a guy!” She then turned to the girl that was doing her nails, and (STILL very loudly) said, “Can you believe that? Look at my friend over there. She LOOKS like a girl, but she’s really a guy!” At that point, ALL the women in the salon turned and stared at me. At the time I began a very serious inspection of my pedicure and was embarrassed beyond belief. Needless to say, we’re not friends anymore. Another former friend would constantly tease me whenever we went to a bar and ordered drinks. She'd say to the bartender, "Oh, no wine or normal girl drinks for her, she wants a whiskey and soda." Then she'd roll her eyes and laugh at me. What can I say? As girly as it gets when I'm drinking is a cranberry and vodka.

Someone I worked with/for several years ago labeled me as a “man-woman”, a name he had made up for his wife and some of his female friends that have similar thoughts and attitudes. When I first heard the term, I laughed. Did it not show the dichotomy of my nature? It stayed in the back of my mind and I later gave the whole “man-woman” thing some thought. Does this dichotomy of my nature make me very atypical and “weird”? I never once thought of myself as an anomaly. Although I must say that if I am, I prefer being the anomaly to being “normal”.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Incredible Hulk + Boobies = WIN

So one day last week I needed to cross reference some scenes and look a performer up, so I logged into the members side of our site to check the scene in question. Ordinarily I like to keep quiet when I'm at my desk since its like 5 feet away from my boss' office and his ass has like supersonic hearing & he always talks mad shit about my IMing (even though its almost all work people, and I only use my work IM now anyway) and when I make frustrated sound effects.

I couldn't keep quiet when I saw this in the header though:



I need to find out who thought of this idea because it is fucking hilarious.

Mmm boobies. Its a good way to start the week.

(I can't even figure out whose tits those are. I'm so ashamed.)

Saturday, June 6, 2009

FUCK YO' SOCIAL NETWORKING!

I've decided to do what the great Stephen Fry has done and do a write up of Twitter and why I'm not following you, or why I've decided to unfollow you when I was previously, or why I might be unfollowing you in the immediate future. I've been asked either directly or indirectly a few times why, and here's my answers. I was getting really sick of Twitter till I realized what the problem was, and I've listed those issues below. But first, a disclaimer:

This is not a list of threats. This is not me telling you what to do. What this is, is me telling you what I plan on doing and why. So, without further ado:

Why I'm Not Following You, Ever Or Anymore, Period.

AKA: The Hammer Is Coming Down

1. My list of people I follow turns out to be...guess what! My Twitter feed. That's right, MY Twitter feed. Seeing as how its mine, I dictate what I want to see and what I don't want to see. Not you, or someone else, but me. I read what I want to read and see what I want to see on the internets because I have limited time in my day and don't want to waste it. No offense, its nothing personal. If you don't understand, think of it like this: how would you feel if you were subjected to a literary medium you didn't really have an interest in? Would you let someone make you watch a movie, or TV show you didn't like, every day, all day long? Would you make someone read a book or listen to music that they didn't like all day long? No? Why? Because it's rude, right? Exactly. So if I don't find your tweets to be something that I feel enriches my day or my life in general, or that makes me feel better or makes me laugh, don't take it hard.

2. Twitter is something I came to with high hopes. Because I felt that it would be a place where I could exchange thoughts and ideas with other people and engage others that I feel are like minded to me in conversation. It was something I felt would help me move forward in life and be a great tool to reach out and find other people I could have interesting or entertaining dialogue with. Seeing as how this is subjective to me, only *I* can dictate what's meaningful or entertaining to me. Not anyone else, and again, no one else should dictate what's meaningful or entertaining to you, either.

3. Related to both of the above, is basically my bottom line. If I don't care for what you talk about or am not interested in it, its my own personal preference. If I'm annoyed because I feel like you're spamming me with tweets that I don't care about, I'm removing you. If I feel like you're not bringing anything of interest to my Twitter feed, I'm removing you. If you don't feel like this applies to you and you STILL don't understand why I'm not following you, here's some examples without naming names:

- Unless you actually have a serious professional blog or website, I don't care about your personal blog/site. I don't really want to be spammed with posts about it, because you probably already have a link to it in your profile, and I've probably already looked at it and determined if I want to read it or not.

- I don't use Twitter to check for other people's status/location updates. I don't care where you are at this moment in time unless you're a real life personal friend. I don't want to be updated with to the minute information on your whereabouts because I don't know you.

- I don't want to be spammed with hashtag game tweets. Its funny once in a while, but when 12 people in my Twitter feed are ALL POSTING TWEETS AT ONCE it gets to be a bit too much. If I feel like you're really taking it over my threshold of tolerance, you gotta go.

- It doesn't matter if we're at the same place in our lives or not, but if you choose to spam me with Tweets about your life partying and drinking and being immature and stupid, then I don't care about that either. I am a grown woman, about to be married within the year and am going to grad school. I did my partying and drinking and being stupid years ago and am not interested in your exploits while you're drunk or high, or whatever. I have better shit to do, like watch the game or play some video games. Or study. Uh yeah, study.

- Also related to the above, if you're unhappy in your life for whatever reason, I'm sorry about that. I really am. It'd be nice for everyone to be happy. But if you plan on being disloyal or unfaithful to your significant other? Not my business and I don't want it to be. If you want to use Twitter for your own personal internet hookup tool, that's your prerogative, but I don't need to see your corny lines or your silly flirtations. I'm sorry you're unhappy in your life or relationships and need affirmation or a boost to your ego. But I don't need to watch while you ask for it or receive it. Maybe its a cultural thing but I feel distinctly uncomfortable watching that sort of intimacy. I'm not a voyeur.

In conclusion: I have enough stress in my daily life and am dealing with so much crap in general that I don't want some social media medium to be a source of further aggravation or annoyance. I'm not starting arguments or any drama, this is really a simple statement of where I'm coming from so people will understand and not ask me or my friends questions.

That is all.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Invasion of /b/

This. Was. Fucking. HILARIOUS. Funny thing is, it could totally happen.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

^5s: My Life's Soundtrack

So I decided after seeing everyone on Facebook do one of those top 5 something or others, that I would do some top 5s of my own, which will be better than the ones on Facebook because I can't describe or explain anything with the way its set up on FB. This first list will be the 5 most influential albums on my life.

Disclaimer:
Now, as you read this, please keep in mind that these albums for the most part or in their entirety, I feel impacted ME in some significant way and influenced who *I* am in a significant way and really were game changers in that respect, but for ONLY ME. Please don't tell me in all seriousness that I must have left something out, because this list applies to me and my life experiences alone.

Without further ado:

Michael Jackson: Thriller

This album was released late in the year when I was about 5, turning 6. While I heard the songs that were released on the radio while riding around in the car with my family, it wasn't until over a year after it's release that I paid closer attention to this album, and that's because of the release of the Thriller video. When it first premiered on MTV, my older sister had already seen it so when it came on again, she turned off all the lights in the living room and told me to sit right in front of the TV. I sat there and watched with my mouth open in surprise. It seemed like a MOVIE and not a music video. It was also fairly creepy/scary so when my sister ran in a few minutes after it started screaming and suddenly grabbing me, I almost died of fright on the spot.

Now that I think about it, the singles off this album were the first sanctioned "pop music" allowed in our household that was very jazz, big band, and old R&B oriented. In later years I would come to listen to this album over and over again all throughout my life, and would always compare male R&B artists to him, usually unfavorably. Oddly enough, it was this album that made me want to go back and listen to the Jackson 5 albums, which led to me to favor the sound of particular male R&B group acts like: New Edition, Boyz II Men, and Jodeci.

Janet Jackson: Rhythm Nation 1814

This album was released late in the year as well, just after I had turned 12. At the time my own personal music tastes were just developing, since I was unable to listen to very much in my parents' strict household. It was the first album that I listened to in its entirety of my own volition, simply because I liked the music. It was also the first time my 12 year old brain could wrap itself around the socially conscious messages in the music I was listening to. As I'm sure anyone can imagine, little kids are cruel in their ignorance and xenophobia. Going from being one of the only Asian families in a predominantly black community to a predominantly white community was rough so I understood racism quite well. Additionally, the whole album sort of seemed to be this great combination of a lot of different genres - hip hop, pop, R&B, rock.
This album was also the first album I memorized the lyrics to and rebelled against my parents by daring to sing in the house. I also realized at the same time that I really LIKED to sing. I think what impacted me most about this album was Janet seemed so strong and sure of herself, and when the video for "Love Will Never Do" came out, I had just entered puberty and was coming to terms with womanhood. I watched the video realizing that sexuality and sensuality can be a great thing, and understanding your own is an especially great.

Mary J. Blige: What's the 411?

"What's the 411" was released the year I was 15. While this wasn't as influential on my life as the first two albums I mentioned, the reason I found it so impacting is because this is the year that I noticed something. That while I was really into all kinds of music, I was gravitating towards one genre in particular, and that is hip hop. Everything I sang to, danced to, bumped on the speakers at home when my parents were out, it was all hip hop. This album was also the album I tried to get a lot of my friends at school to listen to. Not easy when they were all in love with Nirvana.

Rage Against the Machine: Battle of Los Angeles

Rage's 3rd album was released when I was 22. Now at the time, I knew of them, and had heard their previous releases, but it wasn't until I was the age I was that I began to be more self aware and develop a consciousness of social issues and the world around me. It was kind of literally at this age that I began to rage against the machine on my own for a variety of reasons. The tour for this album was also the first concert I ever went to, with Gangstarr opening for them. It was fucking amazing. Both of their performances made me instant lifelong diehard fans of both (well as much of a fan as I can be of anything, but that's another story) and made me a lot more interested in finding out about the world around me. (Keep in mind I was sheltered till the age of 16, then had several other events happen where I was just consumed with staying alive, instead of being concerned for the world around me.) I also went back after the concert to their 1st and 2nd albums and found a lot more meaning in them at that age, with a better, clearer understanding of social issues and conflict. This was the beginning of my revolutionary years, which led to my later beliefs that I still hold and most likely always will, and to some activism of my own.

Flobots: Fight With Tools

I've written so much more about the Flobots on this blog than I have about any other artist or group, despite my intense love for multiple other artists and groups. There are so many reasons why, but I'll keep it simple here. This album went right along with my activist leanings, and is one of the very very few concept albums that I've loved in its entirety. I love every single song on this album and I have to listen to this album at least once a month, ever since its been released. I love the fact that Handlebars is really socially conscious and politically charged, and yet the millions of people that have heard the song don't know the fact or don't even care. The rest of the album just displays the amazing talent of every one of the members of the Flobots. In my own limited experience with music it's rare that these days there are artists that can be both political (or have SOME positive message), entertaining, AND talented. When I saw them in concert I was so blown away by how GOOD they are as performers, and just how much they really enjoy doing what they do, as well as how invested they all are in social change. Its a beautiful thing.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

KUNTA ROTH GOIN' IN!

For those of you that follow me on Twitter, you'll know that myself, Dart Adams, and Marcus Respekt among others have been talking shit about Asher Roth for some time. However, Marcus took it a step farther and decided to create an alter ego, Kunta Roth. He performed somewhere in the ATL as Kunta Roth, and FINALLY here's the video:

Monday, June 1, 2009

DELICIOUS CAKE!

So I think its fairly well established at this point that I'm a total geek and that I'm cool with that. And that I'm REALLY INTO video games. With that said, I don't think anyone will be too surprised here.

My good friend Bryan, who owns and runs VivaMonster, hit me up to tell me that he had an achievement in WoW that he had been saving for me to see. The way it works is that the achievement is broadcast to your whole guild, so he wanted to make sure I was online at the time when he got it. He told me he'd been saving it to cheer me up for a few days but I hadn't been online. (Manz and I are at the 4th Stage of Initial D omggg!) So I logged on, and this is what I saw: (You'll have to click to expand but if you're too lazy, it simply says: "The Cake Is Not A Lie!"



I was so excited I actually squealed a little when I saw it. Ah, I'm a dork.

But srsly. The cake...ITS NOT A LIE! I KNEW IT!

Trim Back the Underbrush

...So the trees seem taller. KnowwhatI'msayinnnn'?



Okay, but really guys, because most of you appreciate a woman who can trim her hedges, (who wants to floss with pubic hair?) I'm telling you the same thing I told the females with another video a few weeks back. Do the women you might sleep with a favor by cutting the bush back and keeping your junk clean. Again, no one wants to floss with pubic hair. Or get pubes in their nose as they're trying to give you some BJ lovin'. THINK ABOUT IT. FACILITATE BLOW JOBS!