Tuesday, March 24, 2009

OMG I'z A TERRORIST!

NEWSFLASH!

According to sources from this article I read this morning, quoting the sources:

Missouri Information Analysis Center Strategic Report: The Modern Militia Movement (dated 20 Feb 2009), the "If you encounter" pamphlet from the Phoenix branch of the FBI, the Texas Department of Public Safety and Criminal Law Enforcement pamphlet titled "Terrorism: What the Public Needs to Know", and Virginia's "Terrorism & Security Awareness Orientation for State Employees".

Apparently I am or could be a terrorist because:


-I am against the New World Order, (No, not the band) the North American Union, and those united numbskulls, the UN.
I am. Maybe it's because I'm a minority and we're naturally suspicious. Maybe it's because I read a lot of sci fi and fantasy. Maybe it's because I was a fan of the X-files for years and years. Whatever the reason, I am most definitely not down with big consolidated government agencies. The stupidity that bureaucracies create as well as the general scariness of one big government (aka dictatorship) freaks me out. A lot.



-I'm against paying taxes.
Well who the fuck likes paying taxes anyway?



(If it comes down to wearing clothing with them or being naked, I'll take the latter, thanks.)
-I'm against RFIDs.
I am. Vehemently so. Look it up on the interwebs if you want to know why. It's one of the major reasons I boycott Wal-Mart as well.



-I'm for the US Constitution.
I am, and predominantly I'm for human and civil rights for ALL people, across the board. No matter your race, religion, gender, etc. If you consider yourself a decent human being whatsoever, then you should be, too.



-I've seen "Zeitgeist" and "V for Vendetta".
I have and I love them both. Oh, and to put the nail in the coffin, I also OWN a copy of, and LOVE, "Catcher in the Rye". And "Oldboy". Ooh. Check me out. You're fucked now, people!


-I go around carrying things like cameras...maps or charts, sketch pads, and notebooks, and I stock up on things like water, alcohol, and medicines.
I do carry a camera around, only because I'm suspicious of shady motherfuckers who do hit and runs. That happens in LA all the time. And also because I like taking pictures of interesting shit. I carry around sketch pads and notebooks to write in. Because sometimes I'm too lazy to bust out my laptop, or as is usually the case, I'm out of battery. And I do stock up on water and alcohol...duh. And medicines? Who doesn't? It's the fucking worse feeling EVAR to be sick as a dog and have NOTHING in your house to make yourself feel better, and then you have to actually LEAVE to get some, and then you feel even worse. GG. Did that once before. Never again.

Okay guys, apparently I'm a terrorist according to the fine organizations listed above. Did I mention I also have Crimethinc's "Days of War, Nights of Love", and "The Anarchist's Cookbook", too?

2 comments:

  1. i read somewhere that all minorities are terrorists. also you should get an american name. "sun" is too hard to pronounce.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perhaps I should roll with Susan. Or Jennifer. (Can you believe people actually think either of those names is my name? WTF)

    ReplyDelete