Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Reminiscing On My Adventures in Higher Learning, TL;DR Inc!

I'll start this one off with one of the best, most smart-ass, and most fitting for ME comments I've ever read:

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. - Joseph Baretti

Unfortunately this semester was moderately painful because of your boy Monty. Oh, I finally learned how to pronounce and spell his Aztec name. It's Axayacatzin, pronounced, "Ah-sha-ya-cot-zeen" for any of you that might be interested in pronunciation of Aztec names. *insert eyeroll here* Interestingly though, somehow the negativity of being grouped with Monty in some negotiation simulations canceled out most of the detrimental effects of having Carolina in my class. I think its because the kung fu of his craziness was more powerful than hers. Or something. Well, for the most part. During our persuasive speeches, however, her rabid liberalness practically had her frothing at the mouth during her presentation.

For shits and giggles I'll recap her presentation so the rest of youse can either support my beliefs that she's riding a little too high on that high horse, or maybe not. So. Her presentation was a persuasive speech based on trying to get us to consider a vegan lifestyle. The topic alone in and of itself already has a variety of compelling arguments FOR it. However, in true Carolina fashion (and don't forget to roll your Rs, bitch!) she had to link NOT being vegan with being held down by DA MAN. Oh yes, if you are not a vegan, then that's because the white man is holding you DOWN, son!

So, what were her arguments to back that statement? Well, she decided to go all Fox News ultra mega propaganda style on it. She started off by saying, and I quote, that we need to "decolonize ourselves from the food industry's manipulation and corruption. They are enslaving us and we need to demand justice and human rights! For example, the WHITE MAN made blacks eat soul food and southern food, and that's yet another subtle way that the white man is killing off minorities!" I was SO SHOCKED when she said this, as a Latina female, that she had the sheer gall to put that out there in front of our black classmates. Then she took it a step further, saying that blacks are contributing tot heir own enslavement by continuing to eat soul food, and they're doing it both willfully and willingly, which in her opinion, was just wrong.

She then went on to say that our bodies are. "victims of organized crime". She didn't exactly follow that sweeping declaration with facts, sadly. She moved onto her grand finale by saying, in THE MOST high-falutin', lofty, condescending way, "I personally have been lucky enough to find a delicate balance between being vegan and NOT making my family and loved ones feel inferior. So I'm taking this opportunity to inspire you to start on your quest to uncover yourself and reclaim WHO YOU REALLY ARE!" Oh yes, she ended it on that triumphant note, just standing there, beaming at the rest of us, glad to have dropped that knowledge on us. Yup, I had to listen to that hot, steaming, pile of bullshit for FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES.

I won't even go into Monty's persuasive speech because to be honest, I still have no idea what it was supposed to be about...other than the fact that he ended his speech with, "We didn't cross the border...the border crossed US!"


So, field trip #2 into Crazytown, dropping me off on the corner of Crazytown Avenue and WTF Boulevard, was my experience with Monty in our negotiation simulations. This dude got so into his role as a Kurdish representative on the distribution of Iraqi oil resource simulation, I thought we were playing an MMORPG IRL and we were on a 100% role play server. No lie. The shit was BANANAS. He brought PICTURES of "himself", the character in the simulation that he made up. We were just supposed to be representatives of delegations, not actual individuals. He also brought pictures of himself and his supposed son, and taped them to the front of his desk. Just in case we forgot. Yes, he really did. And he even brought in props, and and...UGHHHHH /facepalm *headdesk*.

The worst/best part of this whole negotiation simulation was when we had to critique each others' strengths and weaknesses. When the time came for Monty and I to do our little constructive criticism, I THOUGHT I was prepared to hear what he had to say, but boy was I dead wrong. Although in retrospect the fact that he caught me by surprise is probably what prevented me from murdering him on the spot and saved him from a bloody and gruesome demise.

He started out by saying that my Americanization and being a 2nd generation Korean American threw him off because I was "challenging". (Read: He can't or doesn't know how to deal with his me, who probably doesn't fit his idea of what an Asian should be.) He told me he wasn't quite sure of how to handle me because of this. That was surprise #1, albeit a mild surprise. Surprise #2? His critique of a weakness of mine was that I either could not, or would not, or DID NOT, hear the MINORITY VOICE. That's right, me, I don't hear the minority voice.


He did not back this up with anything explaining why, and I was so shocked it took me a while to recover so I neglected to even ask. I tried to clarify and give him room for an out, after I did recover a little, just to make sure he wasn't really saying what I thought he was saying...but unfortunately, he really did say it and mean it. That came so out of left field it wasn't until after class ended that I realized I was pissed and wanted to beat his ass down. Wasted opportunity. Ah well.

And so the semester is over. There were a couple of high points. One, I got to know Katlin better, which in my book is a good thing because she's a very cool chick. And in a somewhat timely coincidence, I recall a few quotes from HBO's Boycott, which I think are direct quotes from some of MLK's speeches.

"We have been trampled by the iron feet of oppression...but history is not an accident, history is a choice...there comes a time when time itself needs to change."

And lastly, his best quote that I think applied to the election this November:

"We [as a people] are a chain, indivisible. I alone cannot be what I am meant to be, unless you become what YOU are meant to be."



  1. What you have just written there, my dear Diora, is the core for an independent film script.



  2. Please tell me you were kidding. Because you know I'm trying to make a dollar out of .15, man.

    But really though, I've had people tell me that my life is so crazy it ought to be a movie or a tv show. *shrugs*