I've been meaning to talk about this story for a few days now, but I kept re-writing this blog post in my head and couldn't quite get it straight. Okay, so it's a little gay, but I've been on the happy tip for a few weeks now (I just got engaged! omglol) and this story just struck me the right way as things do, sometimes.
I won't belabor the obvious, but honestly, happiness is one of the best things to be infectious. I myself have also noticed that smiles seem to be infectious, too. For the longest time earlier this year I couldn't figure out why so many people smiled at me, male or female, and I realized it was because they were smiling BACK at me. Despite my rough, rugged, and raw bitchiness sometimes, I do try and APPEAR as if I'm relatively happy-go-lucky for the most part, (happy to beat YO' ASS!) but it does always makes me a little happy on the inside when I smile at someone and they smile back.
When I read this story it put me in mind of my girl Genessee. Haha, on a random note, the other day I dreamt in an alternate universe that we ran away together, which is funny and kind of weird because she's like Bizzaro Diora, she's like the Diora Doppleganger OFDOOM. Anyway, the whole time I was reading this I was thinking about Gen. I knew her from work and actually, I had no idea she was the Diora Doppleganger OFDOOM because she's so low profile in the workplace and she seemed HELLA quiet. (Little did I know! For those that know me personally, you know I'm not exactly QUIET.) It wasn't until we were both working for the same company for a year and she moved offices to be almost next door to me, that I found out what omgsuperamazing chick she was. Well, *cough* I DID say she's my doppleganger. And no, I'm not much on modestym, I guess. Ha.
But as per usual, I digress. So Gen - she's an awesome girly tomboy like me, and likes pretty much almost all the same shit I do, except ever since I've known her she always seemed to have this vibe of complete centeredness and just being totally grounded. When I didn't know her well I wistfully wished I did, because she just seemed like she had a good head on her shoulders, and above all, she always seemed pretty happy. That was the thing I didn't get about her...when I was miserable, some days I wanted to ask her, "What's there to be SO GOD DAMNED HAPPY about??" And I don't mean "Somebody has a case of the MONDAYYYYS!" kind of fake-happy, I mean she just seemed to radiate a calm sort of pleasure and happiness in herself, where she was in her life, and the world around her. I wanted to get to know her if only to find out how I, too, could attain this quality, this...incredible lightness of being. Now that I know her, all my interactions with her, and all the time I spend with her, is imbued with just that quality. I know she's the rock in a lot of people's lives, and I just worry that she maybe doesn't have that in someone else. I hope I am or can be at some point, and also hope that if I spend enough time with her, I'll figure out how to feel that way, too. I think I'm doing an okay job of it so far, actually.
So basically, Gen, you're amazing, and your happiness in yourself and in life affected me more than you knew!
(This sappy almost-love letter was brought to you by D.R.E.A.M - these days it seems like Death Rules Everything Around Me. I've lost a lot of loved ones in the past year, and am about to lose another to cancer, so it seems like a good time to try and make sure that the people I love and appreciate know it.)