Thursday, September 4, 2008

NFL DRAWMUH~!!!!!1111! #2

I haven't posted anything in a few days for several reasons. One, my company is laying off people like crazy so I'm a wee bit concerned for my financial welfare at the moment and any time I do spend online is on Craig's List trying to find a new job before I get the boot myself. Two, if I'm not applying I'm usually playing video games. Since I've quit WoW for the moment till Wrath of the Lich King comes out and Warhammer won't be coming out for another couple weeks...I've been playing some random online games that have been pretty awesome and they're time consuming enough where I don't have to think about anything stressful. But I digress.

In honor of the first official day of the season, I just thought I'd comment on NFL drama that amused me to no end. I've decided to officially pay attention to the goings-on of the NFL this year because I had NO IDEA how much drama there really is. Shit, its better than soap operas and Asian dramas because this shit is ACTUALLY HAPPENING. So in no particular order, here's the drama going on this week (and one from a week or so ago) that I got a kick out of.

This is Culpepper's sadface. Aww.

1. Daunte Culpepper not wanting to retire but not getting signed, so consequently being forced to retire. It's kind of fucked that he was told to wait for an opportunity for a QB to get injured, I mean, man that's just COLD. I guess its dog eat dog, but sounds like he's mad bitter about this, especially considering his little raging against the machine speech: "The decision I made in 2006 to represent myself rather than hire an agent has been an invaluable experience," Culpepper said. "I now understand why so many people with the NFL community are uncomfortable with a player really learning the business. The NFL has become more about power, money and control than passion, competition and the love of the game. Regardless of this shift, players' rights are still supposed to be part of this league. Since I will not be given the opportunity to honor the memory of Gene Upshaw by wearing a patch on my uniform this year, I will instead spend some of my energy applying what he taught me about standing up for what is right and not sitting down for what is clearly wrong."

This pic says to me, "Hi, I'm Shawne Merriman, and I'm a badass BEAST who will fuck your shit up!"

2. Shawne Merriman deciding to play this year with a fucked knee. I'm sad because I don't want it to end his career, since I'm thinking I'm a Chargers fan (OMG LT). Apparently like 4 doctors told him not to, but he said Tim Brown told him he had the same problem and underwent the same procedure they suggested and he lost half a season and it made no noticeable difference. However! How about that fucker Bart Scott from the Ravens saying: "If I'm on offense, I'm going to run at him on every play and put that knee to the test, I'm cutting because it's legal. I'm chop-blocking him. I'm making him think about that knee on every play. I know those linemen are going to be trash-talking and cutting at his feet." And he justifies his bullshit by saying, "This is a league where if you have a bad corner, they will throw the ball 100 times over there until you get that player out of there," Scott said. "You don't think they're going to run the ball at a wounded player?" Sooo basically, dog eat dog, every man for himself, and fuck him, I'm gonna do my best to cripple his ass. Sure everyone's fair game for some fucking shit up if you've suited up on game day, but that's just some malicious ass shit. Shit even a RAIDER (Kwame Harris) said doing shit like that is bad karma.

There aren't enough ellipses in the world to cover how disgusted I am with this guy. He's WORSE than Dennis Rodman.

3. I saved the best for last. According to the Bengals...the receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson is now officially, as of today, Chad Ocho Cinco, with the Bengals recognizing it, up to and including the name being on his jersey as of the game on Sunday vs. Baltimore. He changed his name last month, but I guess its official in the NFL as of today. That's just awesome. I hope when they play against the Ravens on Sunday Bart Scott finds a way to give him a career ending injury for being a douchebag and LOOKING like a douchebag.


  1. Quick recap:

    Shawne Merriman is dumber than a lamp post and Chad Johnson (Mr. Ocho Cinco if you're nasty) sucks like Sara Jay in a room full of Black dudes.

    That is all.

    The Patriots season is already over. Shh, don't tell anyone!


  2. Well Dart -

    Shawne Merriman is a kid. He wants fame. He wants glory. What do you expect? Most kids I know his age are making stupid decisions with their lives just like he is. He thinks nothing will happen to him. And he'll learn that the hard way at some point, and I honestly hope not this year.

    And what, you don't have faith in your BOY Matt Cassel? Lulz. (Also props on the old school Janet reference, I had that tape when I was a kid and wore that shit out)