Friday, September 26, 2008

Diora...the COMPLETELY BADASS ASSKICKING SUPERHEROINE!

I felt like this would be a good post today because I just had to refrain from wholesale murder or assault at the workplace and the COMPLETELY FUCKED shenanigans going on there. I feel quite beat down as a result. And so...

Diora...the BADASS ASSKICKING SUPERHEROINE!


And now, the reason I'm a superhero, and why this one in particular:

So there are only a couple blogs thus far that I follow on a semi-regular basis. One of them would be Dart Adams' Poisonous Paragraphs. (Follow the handy dandy link on the right hand side of this page if you'd like to see more of his blog. It's fantastic if you're anything like me...read: into music, comics, video games, and sports.)

Anywho, I noted several days ago he had done a Livications post where he discusses various blogs he likes or is affiliated with and their posting styles etc. This one was dedicated to comparisons of blogs to comic book characters. Of course the idea of this was tremendously original not to mention amusing to me since I'm familiar with a few of the blogs on the list. Only thing that made me a little sad, all the characters were from the Marvel Universe. *sigh* Anyway. I started scrolling down and going through it, a lot of the blogs I didn't know of so couldn't tell if the characterization was accurate or not. But some them I did think were quite a propos. As an example: XXL.com as Kingpin. The Rap Up as Iron Man. The Smoking Section as the Thunderbolts. Yellow Rebel as Shang Chi. Fucking perfect.

I get to the end, and last but not least...was MY blog! I was shocked. I didn't even really think I'd be mentioned, I mean, I think maybe like 3 people read or have read my blog like, ever. It's just basically my own sort of stream of consciousness and crazy ranting and raving about totally random shit and other shit that amuses me. However, there I was at the end nonetheless...and my characterization was as follows:

Oh! That Vixen as X-23:

"If any of you are familiar with former Dumpin.net contributor Diora than you know why I matched her up with a female version of Wolverine. Check her blog out, too."

Now I personally only vaguely remembered X-23. My immediate reaction was "Aww I wanted to be PSYLOCKE!" since Betsy's my girl. I even had the same hair for a while and dyed it purple. Yes, I'm a retard, thanks for thinking that. But what did I do when I read that, immediately went to Marvel's website and also hit up Wikipedia.

Now lemme break down something about me and Dart Adams. We've exchanged jokes, shit talking, and conversation strictly through various blog commentary and email. I don't even talk to him on AIM. (Although that reminds me Dart, DO you use any IM client? Hit me up and lemme know.) For all intents and purposes, all Dart knows about me is that random shit I've said about myself on Dumpin' and my own blog.

With this in mind, I looked up more information on X-23, aka Laura Kinney. If anyone's interested, here's the links to the Marvel page on her, and the Wiki on her. But in a nutshell:


1. She's a clone of Wolverine.
2. She was subjected to a lot of violence and just overall bad shit at a young age.
3. She has a trigger scent that sends her into a murderous rage when detected.
4. She was never close to her mother for a variety of reasons and ends up killing her.
5. She was born and raised in "captivity".
6. She was trained in martial arts.
7. She is educated and fluent in 3 languages.
8. She's got a "darker and more complex" personality.
9. She engages in the act of what I call /emocuts.
10. She kills all her opponents with little emotion or remorse.


Now, when I read all this and more, I was shocked. My first thought was: How the fuck did Dart figure out comparing ME with HER? To be honest, the similarities are, in a lot of aspects, surprising.

1. Okay so I'm not a clone of Wolverine. BUT, I did have a fangirl crush on him back in the day. I would never really admit that though, since everyone and they MAMA loves Logan these days.
2. Check.
3. Well, not a SCENT per se, but there are a few things that can really tip the scales towards murder.
4. Check. Except I haven't killed my moms. Although there have been times when I wanted to.
5. Semi-check. I was raised SUPER sheltered. I didn't watch anything on TV that my parents didn't approve of. Nor did I see any movies other than documentary type movies, preferably the ones by Oliver Stone, etc.
6. Check. I trained for 21 years and taught for 6.
7. Educated...sure I guess...I've got my BA and am in the midst of getting my MA. I'm semi-fluent in Spanish and Korean, and obviously fluent in English.
8. Check.
9. ...Okay, okay...I DID do that a LONG LONG time ago. I was a kid. And LONG before all these emo kids showed up with their emocuts to be cool.
10. Well, I've haven't killed anyone yet, but I often wonder what I would feel if anything if that time ever comes. Honestly, I don't think I'd feel anything because if I've gotten to the point where I'm going to kill someone, it means they've done me a SERIOUS wrong, or else deeply hurt my loved ones in some way. At which point they deserve it, and I'd probably be happy.

I will say this. Any bitch who can do this to ol' Wolvie deserves MY props at LEAST.

2 comments:

  1. I was gonna go for Psylocke at first but I realized that X-23 fit you and your background and personality a lot more.

    I'm working on a "Secret Wars" blog where Marvel heroes fight rappers that claim their identities but I put a comedic spin on it. I'm rewriting it tonight.

    One.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shut up. You were not!

    ...

    Were you?

    Well that makes it all even more awesome!

    ReplyDelete