Thursday, August 7, 2008

Just Call Me ARRRRRtard!

Why am I an R tard? Well, see Exhibit A above. Yeah, its a billboard right off my freeway exit of the new Mummy movie. So I've been seeing that billboard for about a month and a half now, and every time I drove by it, wondered who the new Mummy was going to be. I always resolved when I got home to look it up on IMDB, only to assuage my own curiosity, but there's so many things I see when driving that I want to check out when I go home, that I end up just forgetting.

Then a couple weeks after I saw this billboard, more started appearing, with the subtitle: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. It didn't occur to me that the word "dragon" would signify ASIAN. No, it didn't click. I thought that something around the eyes looked somewhat familiar, but I didn't know who it could possibly be, because here I am thinking Egyptian.

Fast forward to about a week and a half ago when I finally saw Dark Knight. Well, one of the trailers was for the latest Mummy movie...and I'm sitting there saying to myself, "Oh yeah I've been wondering who the new Mummy is supposed to be..." and I'm sitting there a little bemused in the theater...when suddenly, I see who it is.

Muthafuckin' JET LI.

I sat up and was like, "OMFG JET LI!!!!!!!!!!111111!!" in the theater, and then /facepalmed, because all of a sudden there was a montage of images in my brain of everything I just said and it clicked. *sigh*


  1. The one star I plopped on this clunky bore-athon is due to the presence of the great Jet Li as the evil Dragon Emperor of the subtitle and the gorgeous Michelle Yeoh as Zi Yuan, a witch who's been on the Emperor¹s ass for over 2000 years.

    Peter Travers
    Rolling Stone _mummy_tomb_of_the_dragon_emperor

    martial-arts superstar Jet Li triumphs as the mostly wordless evil Emperor Han of ancient China, a glowing magma spirit locked in a terra cotta shell.

    Jane Horwitz
    Washington Post 073100734.html

    Still, Li makes a great villain, using his powers to create fire, ice and other elements.

    Edward Douglas
    Coming Soon

    Toward the end of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh launch into a vigorous sword fight — and what a grand pleasure it is to watch these two world-class stars in action again...Their duel atop the Great Wall of China is a reunion of titans, an Old Timers' Day for two actor-athletes still in their sinuous prime. Forgive the effusions of an alter-kocker fanboy, but the flinty glamour of Li and Yeoh — buttressed by the stolid, sneering presence of top Hong Kong villain Anthony Wong Chau-sang (who in 1993 appeared in 15 films!) — is the best reason to catch this third in the series of Indiana Jones knockoffs.

    Richard Corliss

    A memorably badass Jet Li.
    Nathan Rabin
    AV Club

  2. Ummmmm...

    Jet Li is ALWAYS a bad ass, sir! And don't worry, I myself am a fangirl of Jet Li and martial arts/Asian cinema in general, so I understand and applaud your enthusiasm.

  3. I just don't know why I have to be subjected to yet another film where Brendan Fraser is the hero in another foreign country. Seeing him Tarzan his way through Africa and the Middle East was seeing him fight Jet Li while Michelle Yeoh is his magical Asian sidekick? Not feelin' it.