Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bitchslaps and rednecks

So this morning I get into my office and I have like 5 emails from one of the girls in the office...YET ANOTHER forwarded email of "Jokes for the ladies". Basically all "jokes for the ladies" ever are, is male bashing jokes where women are supposed to all laugh and roll their eyes knowingly because "We all know how MEN are..."

Don't get me wrong. I'm a misogynist myself, having grown up a tomboy and spending far too much time on occasion with my mother and sister. However, I know that however tomboyish I am, however I might ridicule women...I cannot escape the fact that I too, have more estrogen than testosterone in my body, and when I look down I've got boobs. With that said, I'm STILL a woman, and still unfortunately prone to acting like a dumb female on occasion as well.

Nonetheless, these jokes are tired and old and don't even apply anymore, and yet, women still recycle them around and around, for all of us to laugh and hate on the men we know. I'm gonna post a few of them with my own commentary.

Joke 1:
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

This is bullshit because all of my male friends are single, smart, good looking and understanding. If they were assholes we wouldn't even be friends to begin with. Most of the single women I know are retarded and bitter and have no idea how to communicate with men, and just assume "they're all the same".

Joke 2:
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Umm, wrong. Again, almost all of the women I know also whine, bitch, and complain incessantly. And yes, men do too...but again, all of us do that shit.

Joke 3:
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

I mean...I've seen it happen and heard plenty of men complain that when women get married, they gain weight, stop wearing makeup all the time, and cut off their hair. I realize this is because women take more on after marriage in terms of taking care of their household. However, they also lose sight of the reasons their husbands married them to begin of them being their looks. Sure, we won't all be young forever, but the least we can do is try to maintain our appearances even after marriage.

So, to end this section of my morning rant:

Now despite the fact that this email left me less than amused...I did get another email with one truly epic picture. Said picture in question was supposedly taken in front of a Wal-Mart and those of you that know me, know how I feel, see Exhibit A:

But without further ado...this picture, taken in front of a Walmart somewhere in the South:

I don't think anything further needs to be said, do you?

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