Thursday, July 31, 2008

Big Brother is watching...YOU




Check out this little news tidbit I read:

Without even a relevant rule in place, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) is apparently about to assert the authority to dictate how a private broadband company exercises control over its network. Even if the FCC believes it could have such government control it should forebear in this case, says the Institute for Policy Innovation (IPI) regarding reports that the Commission is about to take action on Comcast's network management practices. "Those who favor government control of technology, and our lives, notched a significant victory - they have finally managed to gain the beginnings of real regulatory control over the Internet," said Bartlett Cleland, director of the IPI Center for Technology Freedom. "Certainly this will be part of the legacy of the Bush administration -- the administration that had government seize control of and regulate the Internet," said Cleland.

My .02:

People's stupidty and lack of foresight never fails to astound me. How the hell did this dumbass Bartlett Cleland ever become the director of any organization? ESPECIALLY with a name like Bartlett Cleland for that matter? And does anyone else find it ironic that he just so happens to the director of the IPI Center for Technology Freedom, and yet he's sucking Bush administration cock for being the first to gain control of "technology...and our lives...and the internet"? How does that make any fucking sense?

Don't get me wrong, I know on the east coast pretty much everyone and their mother fucking hates Comcast (sorry Razzy, I still 2.9 you) but the fact that the FCC is just blithely deciding they're just going to take over, and no one seems to be protesting this move, well, frankly I find it disturbing. More disturbing even than Darth finds your lack of faith.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

LOL-Worthy Hip Hop News

These days I'm not much into current hip hop, as more and more time passes I spend more and more time listening to less and less of it, and everything I listen to consistently is anywhere from 10-20 years old. Sad, isn't it? When I was a rebellious teenager I always expected I'd be all "HIP HOP FO' LIFE!" And while I'll always be a part of hip hop culture, sometimes I wonder if I'm getting really old.

Anyway, in the last week there have been 3 stories in the news about members of the hip hop community. The first I read last week, and the headline was:

Rapper 50 Cent sues over 99 Cent Taco Bell promotion



I just about died. Now I don't watch any TV, don't care too much for Youtube, so I haven't even seen the reason why 50 would be suing them. However, this is what the news article read, with my own comments in brackets:

A hip-hop-themed Taco Bell ad campaign has turned the stomach of rapper 50 Cent, who launched a lawsuit against the fast food retailer on Wednesday. The rapper filed a federal lawsuit in Manhattan claiming that the restaurant chain used his stage name without permission in a recent campaign promoting a low-priced menu offering items for 79 cents, 89 cents and 99 cents. According to court filings, the rapper accuses the company of sending out a letter to media and creating ads calling on him to change his name for a day - to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent - to reflect the promotional prices and visit a Taco Bell location and "rap" his food order. In exchange, the chain vowed to donate $10,000 US to a charity of his choice.

[First of all, I want to know what 50 is trying to sue Taco Bell for. Copyright infringement? Anyway, HO NOES they used his name and asked him to change his name for a day! Maybe he's mad that they'd actually have him think up some new lyrics that don't sound like Magic Stick/Candy Shop/Window Shopper/etc etc. And also, damn Taco Bell...only donating 10,000? Hell, that's chump change to 50...you're not even making it worth his while. He could write a check off today to whichever charity for way more than that and not feel it.]

The lawsuit alleges that the company didn't send the letter to the rapper until afterward."Rather than face rejection or pay fair value, Taco Bell chose to steal his endorsement and to enjoy all the publicity of being associated with a mega-star while bearing none of the costs," the suit reads.

[BWAHAHAHAHA! Pay fair value? What's fair value? And so what if they faced rejection...they could have gotten better press by making 50 seem like a selfish, greedy, asshole for not wanting to participate in raising funds for a charity. Not to mention...is 50 still a mega-star? But I digress. The best is yet to come.]

The lawsuit also claims that his reputation suffered, noting that members of the blogosphere began accusing him of "selling out."

[Wow. Just...wow. I mean, no amount of internet acronyms such as LOL/ROFL/LMAO could possibly express how much I really laughed at that. 50's concerned about "members of the blogosphere" accusing him of selling out? Man, he was all about the money from GO...I mean, every record of his has been about or named as some reference to money or making money. Ridiculous.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now for the next two news items I read earlier today.

News Item #1:



Apparently he's in D.C., telling unregistered voters: "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Goodness T.I., how long did it take you to rack your brains for an appropriate quote to use referring to people who don't vote? Apparently the "Hip Hop Caucus" - and I don't even want to know who was on that panel - said that they nominated T.I. as their official spokesperson because: "T.I. can't vote in this election and to come and encourage others to vote, especially young folks from disenfranchised communities, while he still is in the system, is an act of courage and great leadership. Felon disenfranchisement is a major issue that particularly impacts communities of color."

Um...say what now? He's in the system because he was a DUMBASS and PUT himself into the system. He should have known better, and I'm glad he's in jail because he's an idiot and deserves it. I just hope they don't let him anywhere near a recording studio. And you know, I'm against felon disenfranchisement. Honestly, people change, and if someone's done their time, and they're out trying to make a clean living and do right, then they shouldn't automatically be shuffled into the disenfranchised category based on their past alone. But T.I. isn't exactly someone who's done wrong, feels bad, and is trying to live the good life and fight the good fight. Then again, what do I know. Maybe he is.

News Item #2:



VERSUS



Jacob the Jeweler says he sold Wyclef Jean over $300K worth of bling -- apparently on his house tab -- that he hasn't collected on. Jacob is suing Wy to collect on the $319,000 worth of jewelry he sold him between March 2002 and January 2006...He says the ex-Fugee bought $765K worth of bling but hasn't paid in full yet. Jacob was just sentenced to two-and-a-half years in a federal pen for lying to investigators in a drug ring sting. Wyclef's people didn't immediately respond to requests for comment.

Ahh, the joys of the interwebs, where we can anonymously laugh at people who we believe are stupider than we are. Jacob should have known better than to let Wycelf take his shit. Honestly, did he believe Wyclef was going to successfully reunite the Fugees and have their comeback album go quadruple platinum? And what exactly is he gonna do with that money in jail anyway?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Back Stabbers: Et tu, Brute?



Backstabbing's been around for as long as human beings have had greed...so essentially since humankind's inception. Certainly existed in the Roman empire, which was the downfall of Julius Caesar. Interestingly enough I myself have seen quite a few betrayals and stabs in the back, consecutively in the last month or so. Can't seem to recover quick enough before a new wound is made. Thankfully for me, I heal quick. I happened to browse a site when I was thinking about writing this, and saw this, and I damn near peed my pants.



And what with all the backstabbing going on lately, its no wonder that coincidentally I heard the O Jays "Back Stabbers"...

"They smile in your face
All the time they wanna take your place
The back stabbers...back stabbers!"



And the Junior Mafia "cover" in the same week, on my iPod in the car. The O Jays song is a classic, but I think I have to say I like the Junior Mafia one better, only because it seems to relate to me a little more, since its Lil' Kim talking about bitches backstabbing other bitches. It's like...their favorite pasttime.



This is why I gotta stick to my vow of not making friends with bitches. They'll stab you in the back in the quickness for the stupidest shit. At least with dudes, you know if they stab you in the back its for money or pussy. Its straight up type shit. Maybe that's the reason why my back's been hurting even more lately. Gotta remove all them daggers.


OMFG EARTHQUAKE! ROCK AND ROLL!




OMFG Earthquake in the LA area...well, Chino Hills, specifically. I had two thoughts on this, one...wtf, Chino Hills, finally they make the news, what of any consequence ever happens out there? Two, oh man, news fodder.

So I have some thoughts on earthquakes. One, something I read earlier this year saying that after an earthquake in Israel earlier this year, Shlomo Benrizi, of the Orthodox Jew party, had this to say about the cause of earthquakes: “the recent earthquake was the result of the homosexual activity practiced in the country". Wow, religion and science clearly don't mix...I hadn't heard that the virus called "the gay" permeated the earth's tectonic plates. Then again, maybe I don't know shit because I'm not a crazy religious extremist.

Second, why are people so retarded about natural disasters? I mean a friend of mine said he was out picking up lunch for his office when the quake hit, and he was rewarded with a phenomenal display of idiocy of your average sheep. Apparently as he drove by this one house, this guy came flying out of his front door, clad in nothing but a towel and shaving cream all over his face. Don't they tell you the worst thing you can do in a quake is to go OUTSIDE? Stupid ass.

On the news, its even worse. I think its been agreed that all news reporters do a quick IQ survey of all the people they could interview when they're out in the field, and pick the people with the absolute LOWEST ones to talk to. This one man apparently was SO SCARED that he reported "OMG the aftershocks are still making the water in my pool move!!!" Another man said in a panicked voice, when asked if he sustained property damage, "Well...it was so crazy, a lamp on a desk fell, and and and all the CABINETS ARE OPEN!" HO NOES THE CABINET CONTENTS COULD BE ON THE FLOOR!

Even better are the completely inane questions people asked at a press conference that is being held at Caltech. This poor, poor woman by the name of Kate Hutton deserves some mad props for fielding these questions. After answering multiple questions...all the SAME questions, no less...I guess she had come to the last straw. Some idiot guy asked her AGAIN "When will we know more about the quake? When can we get more information?" Her reply? "Oh, I don't know, I guess it depends on how long I have to stand here though..." You GO girl. Strangely enough after that, they let her go. Heh.

Monday, July 28, 2008

HALP I'M STUCK!




I think I must be a 12 year old boy stuck in a 31 year old woman's body, because every single god damned time I look at this picture, it makes me laugh. Sometimes it's a LOL, sometimes it's a snicker, but I find it humorous nonetheless. Is that bad, I wonder?

Musings on the can

More musings on the can on a Monday. So, question guys, when you walk into a bathroom at work, do you check the shoes to see who in your office it might be?

And further, if the person is taking a dump that smells pretty foul, and you know who it is, do you keep it to yourself or share it with everyone you know?

And also, what do you do if you're the kind of person that reads on the can but there isn't anything available to read?

I wonder the oddest things sometimes.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

...Say what?

A very good friend of mine sent me this picture he took on his phone. Let me preface this by saying that, he lives in Wisconsin, and he bought a salami sandwich at the store, a regular store, not an ethnic food joint or anything like that [and actually...LOL @ the thought of there being an ethnic food ANYTHING, ANYWHERE in Wisconsin] and brought it home. It wasn't till be brought it home and was unwrapping it, that he realized it wasn't really a salami sandwich...it was a SHAALAME sandwich.



Say what? Is this what the Gourmet Sandwich company decided to call their salami sandwich to sound more bougie or is this just horrendously faulty spelling?

And as a closeup on the actual text because it amuses me:

Saturday, July 26, 2008

One Day As A Lion...




I don't know anything about this EP yet, since I haven't listened to it as of this moment, although of course I do plan on doing so over the next several days. However, I DO know it features former Rage Against the Machine frontman Zack de la Rocha, and the drummer from Mars Volta. I LOVED Rage Against the Machine...did I mention I marked out at the Flobots show when they did their little tribute to "Killing In the Name of"? and still love their music, and listen to it quite often. I like Mars Volta, although I think they could have done more with their music, but hey, who am I to say?

What I do know as well is the origin of the name of the band...and that alone is enough to convince me that I'll probably like what I hear. I too, would rather live one day as a lion than a thousand years as a lamb.

I'll give my verdict in a few days once I've listened to it all and absorbed it.

O Ye Single Men of the World...

I pity you. Truly. I just saw this when I stopped at a light and just had to contribute to the Asian female driving shenanigans by taking a picture.

So why do I pity single men? Take a good look at the yellow sign. One day, you'll meet a girl you feel is worthy of spending the rest of your life with. You'll propose. She'll accept. Then like a bad horror movie, she turns into Bridezilla and demands you come with her to...

THE BRIDAL EXPO!

*shudders* *pukes*

A whole gathering of crazy bitches all focused on one thing...the LA Convention Center teeming with estrogen raging out of control. Ah well, guess it makes up for Erotica LA being there.

Friday, July 25, 2008

DARK KNIGHT!!

So, I went to see it last night at the Arclight in Hollywood...and THESE were in front of the theater. Needless to say, hopeless geek that I am, not to mention I used to be IN LOVE with Batman, (Yes, I really was) I MARKED OUT. And took pictures, like a god damned Japanese tourist. Still, its fucking cool, I don't care what anyone says.





And yes, I loved the movie. Yes, it was better than the first one. Yes, it was one of the greatest comic book movies of all time. And yes, you've heard all this before from the 15 million other people who have seen the movie. There are only 2 thoughts I had at the end of the movie. #1, I wish Heath Ledger hadn't died because I'm sad there won't be another Joker...especially since he blew Jack Nicholson's version of the Joker out of the water. #2, I really hope that they didn't kill off Two-Face, because honestly, Aaron Eckhart was an amazing Harvey Dent, and seemed to transition well into Two-Face. I mean, after I saw him first in "In the Company of Men" and then later in "Thank You for Smoking", I thought he was an amazing actor.

Anyway, that's my .02 for the moment.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bitchslaps and rednecks

So this morning I get into my office and I have like 5 emails from one of the girls in the office...YET ANOTHER forwarded email of "Jokes for the ladies". Basically all "jokes for the ladies" ever are, is male bashing jokes where women are supposed to all laugh and roll their eyes knowingly because "We all know how MEN are..."

Don't get me wrong. I'm a misogynist myself, having grown up a tomboy and spending far too much time on occasion with my mother and sister. However, I know that however tomboyish I am, however I might ridicule women...I cannot escape the fact that I too, have more estrogen than testosterone in my body, and when I look down I've got boobs. With that said, I'm STILL a woman, and still unfortunately prone to acting like a dumb female on occasion as well.

Nonetheless, these jokes are tired and old and don't even apply anymore, and yet, women still recycle them around and around, for all of us to laugh and hate on the men we know. I'm gonna post a few of them with my own commentary.


Joke 1:
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

This is bullshit because all of my male friends are single, smart, good looking and understanding. If they were assholes we wouldn't even be friends to begin with. Most of the single women I know are retarded and bitter and have no idea how to communicate with men, and just assume "they're all the same".


Joke 2:
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Umm, wrong. Again, almost all of the women I know also whine, bitch, and complain incessantly. And yes, men do too...but again, all of us do that shit.


Joke 3:
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

...
I mean...I've seen it happen and heard plenty of men complain that when women get married, they gain weight, stop wearing makeup all the time, and cut off their hair. I realize this is because women take more on after marriage in terms of taking care of their household. However, they also lose sight of the reasons their husbands married them to begin with...one of them being their looks. Sure, we won't all be young forever, but the least we can do is try to maintain our appearances even after marriage.

So, to end this section of my morning rant:




Now despite the fact that this email left me less than amused...I did get another email with one truly epic picture. Said picture in question was supposedly taken in front of a Wal-Mart and those of you that know me, know how I feel, see Exhibit A:



But without further ado...this picture, taken in front of a Walmart somewhere in the South:



I don't think anything further needs to be said, do you?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Random Musical Awesomeness

Several months ago I heard this song that was starting to get some radio play, a bunch of people were asking around to all their friends as to what the song meant, who was it by, etc, etc. The song was called "Handlebars". On KROQ, an alternative rock station out here in Los Angeles, they interviewed Jonny 5 on the phone about it, asking him about what it meant, what message was he trying to convey and such. Towards the end they asked a question that made me want to reach through the radio and strangle them..."Have you guys thought of maybe doing a remix or something...you know, for a happier ending? Because the ending is really depressing."

I have one thing to say to that:

...

That is all.

Fast forward 6 months later, and after having listened to the entire Flobots album, "Fight With Tools" about 50 times, knowing all the lyrics by heart, understanding that they seem to be as socially conscious and driven as I am, if not more so...and respecting them to the utmost for using music as a vehicle for change...my manz bought me tickets to their show at the House of Blues in Anaheim for my berday.

There are no words. None. They all blew me away with their performances. They all had amazing stage presence, and all were extremely multi-talented. I screamed my throat raw, and was sore the next day for how much clapping and fist pumping I did. I can't really say much more about how amazing and inspiring it was.

Here's a pic of the show taken on an iPhone, so its a wee bit blurry.




As soon as I got home that night, I registered for their website, www.fightwithtools.org, so I could be a part of their attempts at actually making social change in as many ways as possible, and waking up and freeing minds. I suggest you do the same.I'm Dioracat on the FWT website, so if you live in or around the LA area, sign up, send me a friend request, and maybe we'll be able to work together to help bring some real change to the world, too. Hell, if you don't live in the LA area, sign up anyway...they've got peeps coming together everywhere, all over the nation. Oh, and on a final note...I LOVE LOVE LOVE how Jonny 5, in the show, actually said, "Hey man, I love you guys, but I hate hip hop!"

Oh, and a final final note...the Crown City Rockers, my PEEPS from OAKTOOOOWWWN opened for them, and they were amazing as well. I suggest you check them out. www.crowncityrockers.com. I'm going to be buying their latest release as soon as its up.

On the totally opposite end of the spectrum, I heard Snoop's "My Medicine" today for the first time in the car. I actually /facepalmed in the car, and would have *headdesked* if I could, but, well, I was in the car, and the Asian female shenanigans while driving are enough without adding in more silliness. The jury is still out on whether or not its so bad, its come full circle to good, or if its so bad, it comes full circle to amazing...or if it's just awful.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Randomness

I like to take pictures of random shit that amuses me. Such as:





OMFG NO WAI!

I had this picture taken in Ohio...and my manz said he had driven by this sign every day for years and never thought of the acronym. Of course when I saw it, I said to myself... "OMG a SIGN that says OMG!" *jumps out of the car* "TAKE A PICTURE QUICK!"

Monday, July 21, 2008

Lost in Translation?

Some things just don't translate well. Is it a mark of immaturity or ethnocentrism that this picture cracked me up?
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Musings on the can

Musings on the can:

Yes, these really are my deep thoughts of the day while sitting on the throne. Its better to write something instead of being subjected to Reader's Digest and women's magazines. I've also decided REALLY this time, that you don't always have to write long posts.

Probiotics - them shits work...ha, literally. I've been drinking this juice full of 'em for the last week and wow, they really fix your digestive system right up!

The Dark Knight - two things here, am I less of a Batman fan because I didn't go to see it opening weekend due to my agoraphobia? And also, STOP ASKING ME IF I'VE SEEN IT YET! Oh, one more thing. As if I wasn't already driving the partybus to hell in the afterlife, I totally LOL'ed at a co-workers joke about Heath Ledger's cause of death. When he read the list of drugs in the accidental overdose, he says, "Pfft...pussy."
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