Tuesday, January 16, 2007

*le fucking sigh*


So. I've just realized how lame my entire existence is. People think my life is like, great and all. I mean, woo hoo, I help make porn. Yeah that's fantastic. Woo hoo I get to see naked chicks whenever I want. Yeah, that's fantastic too. But when you come right down to the nuts and bolts, my life isn't exciting or great. It kind of sucks. Why, you ask? Well here's why.

Sometimes I swear to God I wish so much that I weren't such a moody bitch. I mean, not that I'm all astrologically inclined or anyhing but, I'm a Cancer, and we're known to be moody. On top of that, for God's sake I'm a WOMAN. We're almost biologically programmed to be moody since we've got estrogen and all. But. Despite this fact, is it necessary to install into us the need to OBSESS over every freaking little thing? I mean, HONESTLY!

Not to mention, I'm too much of a thinker, I'm far, far too introspective and analytical for my own good. Some small minor thing happens to me on a certain day and what do I do, but analyze it for hours until I've practically talked myself into committing suicide because I just can't take it anymore. But of course, let's not forget...generally any life situation can come up and the rest of your life can still be okay. You can still function. But God forbid something happen in your love life that you may or may not be completely happy with? Holy Christ, the sky is falling!!

Getting back to why I suck. I can't even get the wherewithal to go out and look for a girlfriend because I'm too lazy. And if someone happens to be FRYING MY LIFE AND MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE...then the hottest girl ever could want to hump my leg in the street, and no go. For that matter, the hottest guy AND girl could want to run a train on me and it'd be a no go.

Furthermore, I have no real life friends. All of my friends are online. Any of my real life friends I never see or talk to very much unless they're online playing the same video game I am. (Yes, that would be World of Warcraft.) I don't CARE to talk to my real life friends, because most of them are in porn and have something to do with porn and I could care less about talking about that all the damn time. So all of my friends that I find interesting and cool...are people I've never met and live all around the country (and sometimes even in other countries) and that I never will meet. And NO, I don't want to go out and meet people. You know why? Because the terrible thing is...they more than likely won't play WoW, and will completely ridicule me for it, or else they probably are gay Alliance players. Which I couldn't deal with.

All I do is spend time online in some way, shape, or form. In fact, tonight, when I should be sleeping so I can sleep in tomorrow since I'm not working...I'm up...thinking about playing WoW, and posting on my stupid blog. God I hate myself sometimes, I FUCKING SWEAR.


Someone just kill me now.